InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE"

Leonard 'Bones' McCoy (bones_mccoy) wrote in labyrinth_rpg,
@ 2009-08-30 22:59:00

WHO: Bones and Kirk
WHAT: Aftermath
WHEN: The day after the party
WHERE: Bones' room to start, who knows after that?
WARNINGS: TBA
STATUS: Incomplete

He couldn't quite seem to remember how he'd gotten back to his room. Or even, at first, what had happened last night. Which turned out to be a mercy, he realized, as his temporary, morning induced amnesia died off. Because the previous night had been pretty much the oddest experience of his life, and that was saying something. Actually, it would be better if he could have forgotten. He was going to get his ass kicked... or, more likely, and far more terrifying, he was going to lose the best friend he'd ever had over a stupid costume ball. He was really starting to hate this place. Back home, he was fairly certain this wouldn't have happened.

Although, he wasn't quite clear on what had happened. One moment, he'd been heading toward the educational buildings, the next he'd been some sort of... cowboy? With a gun, of all things. A gun. Not a gun with a stun setting, either, but an honest to god, old fashioned rifle with bullets or anything. People could get hurt with those things. But he could remember waving one around like no one's business. It was enough to make him absolutely disgusted with himself. But it was like he hadn't been himself, only he had, at the same time. How had it been done? Had he been drugged? Maybe something in the air that had made him feel like someone else entirely? He hadn't noticed anything, but there was no doubt his behavior had been bizarre.

Only, that wouldn't account for the fact that Jim had been... no matter how drugged he would get, he was sure he wouldn't think of his best friend as a girl. That just wouldn't happen. There was nothing feminine about Jim. Which led to the question, which he clung to almost desperately. Maybe it had all been a dream? That felt comforting to him. It would raise questions in his own mind about his sanity, but at least then he would have to face the fact that his best friend had turned into a girl. And then, he'd kissed her. Jane, Jim... Kirk... damn it. He was going to drive himself insane over this. If he wasn't already insane, which, at this point, wasn't entirely unlikely.

He couldn't seem to decide what to do. Should he go talk to his best friend? But, suddenly, he was too much of a coward to do so. Maybe it had been a dream, and that seemed like the option that made the most sense. But what if it wasn't? So he tossed it around in his mind, first deciding he had to go to talk to Kirk, and then immediately deciding he couldn't possibly do so. It was going to be too embarassing, and he didn't know how to face his best friend, not after how he'd acted the previous night.

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jimtkirk
2009-09-03 04:23 pm UTC (link)

A check up... old routines. Such easy patterns to fall back into even after it felt like everything had changed. As much as Jim would've loved to agree and find a way to slip back into that comfortable routine he knew that ignoring this would tear them down eventually. They might even grow to resent each other if they didn't get it all out into the open. Besides... he didn't think he'd be all that willing to strip when Bones demanded it this time. It was sort of a relief when the older man put off the exam... a relief but still worrisome. This was Bones. The older man never aborted going into doctor mode or put off a medical exam. Nothing was ever more important than the health of his patients so... what was the deal now? He decided not to ask for fear of a hypospray to the neck for all his inquiries.

"Don't make me record you when you're sleepy, Bones. You won't like it. I've all ready won one argument. I can make it two." The older man had danced last night. "Besides, I like the accent. When I get you to let me share a bed with you and I'm poking at you and asking you stupid questions while you're nearly asleep... I don't do it to be annoying. I do it so I can hear your voice. It's endearing, comforting in some way and I don't even know why. It may, however, have something to do with the fact that it's always sleepy, heavily accented Bones that comes to the door and patches me up when I'm hurt or comforts me when I'm..." He paused and shrugged. "You know, not that I'm ever too emotionally hurt about anything." He knew, however, that Bones was able to see through his claims. That the older man was all too aware of the fact that Jim's devil may care attitude was just a front. Thing got to him. Things hurt him.Spock had hurt him and not just on a physical level. Spock had hurt and humiliated him in front of their entire class. Bringing up his father hadn't been fair.

Taking a seat beside Bones he simply shrugged. "And we all ready talked about me kissing you. I know why I did it. I just... I don't know why I chose that exact moment. I don't like being by myself, Bones. I don't like being alone. I've been alone all my life, been abandoned all my life. It's supposed to be different with you because you've just always been there. You never turned me away or kicked me out or made me feel worthless." He fell silent for a moment as he played with the sheets beneath them. "And it's not just a sexual thing. It could never just be some sexual thing with you. Damnit, Bones..." He sighed as he looked up into the older man's eyes. "I need you. Badly. I love you. I'm in love with you." He pulled away just a little to look down at his hands. "Everytime I've told you that... you laughed. Like I was joking and I don't know how to make it sound serious because I don't know how to say it. I've never been in love before. I never loved anyone before and I never wanted to but last night, well, it was the only time you've ever taken anything I've said seriously. So now I start to wonder. Is it just because I was born with a Y-chromosome instead of another X? Would you love me back if I were a girl?"

Jim frowned, allowing his shoulders to slump just a little. For the first time in his life he honestly looked defeated. He'd always thought the fact that he was male would work out better. Bones wouldn't think too much about the difference in age like he might with a woman. "So... what part did you mean, exactly? Did you mean the kiss or that you loved me or the marriage proposal? That last one may have just been done to save my reputation though... and believe me it's way too late for that." James T. McCoy still had a nice ring to it though.

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bones_mccoy
2009-09-04 10:20 pm UTC (link)

The truth was that of course he would insist on a check up. But his best friend wasn't, as far as he could see, in any immediate danger of falling over with some bizarre illness. It could wait. For the first time in probably his whole life, something medical could wait. There was something more important to deal with right now. It was an odd thought for him to have, something he wasn't even remotely used to, but it was also undoubtedly true. Oh, it didn't mean Jim would get out of the medical exam, because there was just no way that was going to happen. But it could, and would, wait for a little while.

"Come on, Jim. You didn't win that damn arguement. I wouldn't have danced if it weren't for the Sparkly King, you know. That doesn't count." It was pretty much relfex for him to argue something like that. He didn't like being proved wrong, obviously. He watched the younger man from his perch on the bed, frowning slightly, but not because he was upset. It was more just fear talking, fear that he was going to do this badly and end up losing the most important person to him in his entire life. And he really was stupidly touched by the things that his best friend was saying about his accent. He didn't quite know how to deal with it, actually, so he just tilted his head to the side and eventually nodded, conceding the point. Hey, if Jim was awake at the time, he had a better chance of knowing what Bones' half-asleep voice sounded like.

As Jim sat down beside him, Bones barely hesitated before wrapping an arm around the younger man's shoulder. And he listened, really listened, as he was capable of doing. It was a skill that, as a doctor, was invaluable. It was also a skill many people were surprised that he had, since he could be so forceful and even stubborn in his stating of his opinions. But he hadn't been friends with this man so many years without learning when he was really being serious about something, and this was clearly one of those times. So he just listened, though many times he wanted to interrupt, to set the record straight. But he held off until the very end, until his young friend had stopped speaking entirely.

"I will never, ever abandon you." He wasn't sure that Jim would believe that, so he tilted the younger man's chin up so that he met his eyes, and tried to will him to believe the words he was saying. "Not ever. You say you're in love with me? Well, that's the best damn news I've heard in... God knows how long. A long damn time. If I laughed, it's cause I wanted so badly for you to be serious about it, but I never saw how you could be." He refused to let the other man's eyes drop from his, holding his gaze. "And I don't see what he damn hell your gender has to do with it, Jim. I'd love you if you were a... a, I don't know. Hell, I'd love you if you were a Vulcan." Which was a pretty funny thing for him to say, considering.

"I love you, I wanted to kiss you, and hell, I bet I even wanted to marry you." He shook his head slightly. "I don't know what that Sparkly King did, but in this case, it brought out things I guess I must have always wanted." He paused to consider. "Except the gun. That was bad. But everything with you, well... damn it, Jim, I love you. Do you get it? Cause I'll keep telling you over and over again if you don't." He would, too.

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jimtkirk
2009-09-07 09:03 pm UTC (link)

"You know..." he murmured, "That's sort of what everyone says at the begining and it doesn't necessarily work out." He frowned just a little as he realized he was unable to turn away from his friend. "This is the second time you've grabbed me by the chin like that... the second time you promised you wouldn't leave me." Lifting a hand, Jim ran his fingers over the older man's wrist just looking for something to hold onto. "And I don't know what my gender has to do with anything but, you're a doctor, you should know that 'Vulcan' doesn't count as seperate gender. I could go on to say that the species has nothing to do with this conversation but I know what you mean when you say that." Bones loved him and it had nothing to do with genders or looks. It was an honest sort of love similiar to the way that Jim loved Bones in spite of the fact that he was so damn grumpy or moody and could bitch about damn near anything.

Pulling back and away just a little, Jim caught Bones' hand in his own and linked their fingers together before leaning in and pressing a kiss to the older man's lips. It wasn't quite as desperate or needy as it had been the first time Jim kissed him but it was just as loving, just as passionate. "I don't need to hear it over and over again. You need to occasionally show it and say it every so often but it doesn't have to be a constant thing. I can read you... better than I could ever read anyone else... it helps that your face is expressive even though half of those expressions involve a quirking of that damn judgemental eyebrow." Though, he had to admit, he even loved that quirking of Bones' eyebrow no matter how judgemental he felt it was.

"Okay so... now what? I assume you want to get to that damn medical check up you put off but I'm not done talking about this." There was still something else he felt he needed to suggest even if it was just in jest. "So... you said you meant everything with me, right? Well you proposed last night and I accepted so doesn't that mean you and I are technically engaged and you plan on making an honest person out of me someday?" He teased, fingers moving to play with the older man's dark hair. "I guess James T. McCoy doesn't have the same ring to it that Jane T, by the way I have no idea what that T stood for. I know I'm James Tiberius Kirk but there's no way she could be Jane Tiberius Kirk that just sounds weird and wrong." He paused and tried to think of a name that might work. Nothing was similiar enough. "Now... what was I saying? Oh yeah, so I know James T. McCoy doesn't have the same ring to it as Jane T. McCoy but I'm quite willing to overlook that."

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bones_mccoy
2009-09-09 01:38 am UTC (link)

The doctor frowned irritably. "I know you don't think anyone's gonna stick around you, Jim..." He could hardly have been friends for as long as he had with the younger man without noticing that, even if he didn't know why he was that way, "But I am. You're not gonna get rid of me." He meant it, too. He wasn't going anywhere. Maybe once in a lifetime did you feel the way about someone that he felt about Jim, and he wasn't letting that get away, not for anything. Even though he knew it was bound to be a little difficult at times, and that it wouldn't be exactly sunshine and rainbows all the time, that didn't matter. He was, after all, in love.

This whole thing felt odd, and yet, at the same time, completely right. "Right. The point is that I love you, even when you act like an infant, even when you push me away, all the time. It doesn't matter. I love you." It was getting easier to say, too. He'd hidden it for so long, and now, well, he was starting to wonder why he had. Maybe it had taken coming here to make it okay to say somehow.

As their hands met, he willingly let their fingers link together, and the kiss he met with one of his own, not demanding, not forceful, but almost heartbreakingly gentle and tender. It lasted a long timem and when he pulled away, he was actually smiling a bit. "You know I don't have the best experience with this sort of thing, but I'll do my best, if you will." He continued to hold Jim's hand in his, sort of facing him on the bed.

He flushed slightly as Jim brought up the marriage issue again, and he smiled, this time more widely. "So do I have to get a damn ring to get it through your head that I'm trying to tell you I wanna be with you forever? I can. I'll do the whole thing, with the kneeling and the ring and even the romantic speech." Though it might make anyone who knew him fall over with shock if he did. "The truth is, I like the sound of James T. McCoy quite well, actually."

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jimtkirk
2009-09-11 02:34 am UTC (link)

"No one sticks around, Bones. My own mother didn't even stick around and mothers are supposed to love you." He sighed but still moved forward so he could lean his forhead against Bones' shoulder. That was really the start of everything. Once he'd turned five his mother had decided her time was best served with Starfleet and had set out on another five year mission. Up until he'd met Pike in that bar back in Iowa it had been hard for Jim to find any place where he could feel like he belonged or like he was wanted. It was hard to imagine that anything like that was permanent. He half expected someone to say or do something which would put an end to all of that. "It's just... after years of being abandoned and whatever by people who were supposed to stick around and everything else it's hard to believe that anyone would want to keep me."

Closing his eyes he breathed in and smiled. Bones really did smell like home. It was comforting, Bones had always been comforting though. Releasing the older man's hand he moved closer, pressing his nose against Bones' neck. It was just a little uncomfortable, Jim was sure he couldn't stay that way for long without falling over onto the older man but, for the moment, it was nice. "You still smell like home, you know." Pulling away once more he sat back and observed the older man as if he was trying to figure something out before smiling brightly. "Okay and this whole ring thing? Yeah, I'd really love to see that. I don't believe you'd get down on bended knee and give me some sort of romantic speech. It's not you. You're more likely to jab me with a few hyposprays and off-handedly mention it. That proposal back at the party is about as close as I think I'd ever get to a romantic proposal."

Standing up he stretched his arms over his head and yawned. "I know you haven't had the best luck with this but I know you'll try. I know you love me. I've had no experience with a serious relationship. I'm willing to try my best and I like the sound of James T. McCoy too. When we get home, because we will get out of here and we will get home, we can share quarters on the ship and I'll fight twice as hard on landing missions to come home to you." His smile softened a bit before pulling off his shirt and tossing it at the older man. "Okay but we'll worry about that whole ring, bended knee, and romantic speech thing when it happens. If I know you you're itching to give me some sort of exam. It's not normal to spontaneously switch genders, I know. You can make sure I have all the pieces in the right place and then make sure I wasn't left with anything extra."

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bones_mccoy
2009-09-13 06:48 pm UTC (link)

It was always interesting the way Bones behaved around Jim. He realized it, too, but it wasn't something he thought about much, he just did it. Sometimes he was snarky, sarcastic, grumpy, but every so often, when Jim really needed him, he could be affectionate, even cuddly. This was one of those times. When the younger man rested his head on his shoulder, he wrapped one arm around his waist, put the other hand encouragingly on the back of his head, holding him close against him and listening. After all, the man didn't normally speak about his past in any sort of detail, so he wanted to encourage him to do so now.

"Keep you? Hell, Jim, try to get away from me." His voice was a little softer than usual, too. He smirked slightly, though, at the mention of how he would likely propose. He knew that his best friend was right, he probably would be more likely to do things that way than a formal, romantic proposal. It was just his style, probably having to do with his failed marriage from before. Taking risks wasn't something that came easily, the whole once bitten, twice shy thing. But this thing that as happening with Jim was far too important to him to risk it.

When Jim pulled away, Bones grabbed his wrist and pulled him close, kissing him briefly, softly, before letting him rise. Hey, he was allowed to do stuff like that now, right? Instead of just thinking about it, like he had so many times. "If we're both trying, then hell, we'll do it. We're too stubborn not to." He also rose, staightening his uniform shirt, and nodded. "Yeah, we should do that." It had been bothering him, but this other thing had seemed more important to him. Still, now was a good time. He set Jim's shirt aside, and then took his scanner off the table, readying it. "On the bed is probably best, Jim."

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jimtkirk
2009-09-17 08:05 am UTC (link)

Bones had the oddest affect on him. Normally he would've fought against that little show of affection. He would've wrenched his arm away and avoided the kiss at all costs. It was too sweet, too tender, too... loving but it came from Bones and, god help him, Bones made him want these things. He wanted sweet and tender and loving. He wanted to be taken care of and looked after. He wanted to be told he was loved. Pulling back from the kiss Jim smiled sweetly. "I think you're on to something. You and I are way too stubborn to let anything fail."

Slipping his pants off he tossed those to the side before crawling onto the bed. "Last time I think we agreed you owed me a date before I took my clothes off for you." He teased as he turned over to lay on the bed and stared up at Bones. "I think I'll let it slide this time. We can count our time at the party as a date of sorts... even if I was a girl at the time and we just sorta ended up getting together and making a mess out of things." He fell silent for a moment before reaching out to tug at Bones' shirt. "So... did you think I was an attractive girl. I didn't look anything like my mother did I? Do you know what my mother looks like... did girl me talk half as much as I do?"

He was excited, that was the only reasonable explanation he could think of for the rapid fire questions and rambling statesments. He'd never been in a relationship before and he'd wanted Bones for awhile. To suddenly have both made him feel oddly giddy and excited. It was hard to keep quiet... or still. In his opinion, however, Bones was just lucky he was laying still and allowing the older man to look him over without trying anything. Bones probably wouldn't be free of his charms for too long. The minute the medical tricorder was gone the older man was going to find himself tugged to the bed and against Jim. "You know..." he murmured, "You could just check me out the old fashioned way... the exploratory, hands and mouth way."

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bones_mccoy
2009-09-23 06:00 am UTC (link)

As always, there was that little spark of interest in his dark eyes before the doctor mode mask slid firmly into place. This time, though, it seemed to shine a little brighter and last a little longer. Things had definitely changed between them, and more than just a little. He chuckled softly at Jim's agreement of the stubbornness issue, and then waited for the younger man to climb onto the bed.

"Yeah, you got your damn date. And there'll be enough time for that hands on approach later. Now hold still." He pressed a couple of buttons and then scanned him quickly, expertly. He might not like most technology, but there was no doubt this made things go faster. When it was over, he peered at the results and then put the device back on the table. "Yeah, there's nothing wrong with you that wasn't wrong before. Looks like His Majesty put you back in working order."

With that done, the doctor looked down thoughtfully at the younger man. "You were pretty. And more shy, proper. I like you better this way." Of course, Jane had gone better with the cowboy. It had worked at the time, but he wasn't sure that he'd have much use for Jane. Who could tell, though?

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jimtkirk
2009-09-23 02:46 pm UTC (link)

Crossing his arms over his chest Jim huffed just a little as pouted. "You know... my way is a lot more fun." It wasn't as fast or probably as thorough. The medical tricorder was a lot faster and could give Bones readings of things he couldn't see or feel himself. With that in mind Jim finally dropped his arms and remained perfectly still until Bones was through with the scan.

"If I were you I'd be glad he put me back in working order... even if he didn't do you any favors by leaving me with my allergies to nearly every medication known to man and a few other things." He nodded and sat up. "I wasn't so worried though, you know. And I hadn't even thought about it or worried about what could've happened until I got in here and you went all doctor on me. Then I started wondering if he forgot to put something back in place or forgot to take something out." So maybe this was a relief for him too.

Deciding it was best to forget about everything that could've gone wrong he turned his full attention back towards the older man. "Shy and proper? You mean boring. I've always figured that a girl me would be a little bit of a floozy. You sure she didn't secretly work at a brothel?" He laughed and shook his head. "No, I remember bits and pieces of being her. She was proper but she was so damn into you... or cowboy you. If the cowboy had been a little more encouraging and a little less proper he probably would've gotten laid." Jim teased as he stood up and stretched. "You treated her a hell of a lot more delicately than you've ever treated me."

Reaching out he gently grabbed ahold of Bones' wrist and tugged him forward. "You held her. I might want to be held. I want to be kissed and touched, I'm sure of that. I think I want to be held too though." He shrugged and pressed a kiss to Bones' cheek before releasing his wrist and stepping away.

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bones_mccoy
2009-09-28 07:48 pm UTC (link)

Bones smirked slightly as he set the tricorder down, and gave a little shrug. "We'll try your way next." He let doctor mode slip away, and yes, it was a little more quickly than usual, but then he definitely had some motivation for doing so. It wasn't exactly normal for him, after all, to have a patient, like Jim, that he very much wanted to kiss. Now, he got the idea he was allowed to, and that made the doctor mode slip away much faster than usual.

"Yeah, bastard could have at least gotten rid of the allergies." But, though Bones grumbled, he didn't mind. The allergies were part of Jim, and he loved his best friend desperately. "Oh well. You keep me busy, anyway." He reached out, gently touched the younger man's cheek as he was pulled closer. So many times, he'd wanted to do things like that, but he'd never allowed himself to really even think about it before.

"Nah, she was a real lady." He laughed softly, unable to help himself, at the younger man's comments. "I think cowboy me was much more proper than I am. But I guess I should be grateful to him, and to Jane, because without them we wouldn't be here." Even if they were fictional, as far as Bones could tell. He still wasn't sure what had happened, but he was pretty sure those people didn't really exist anymore.

Bones sat on the bed, then gently trapped the other man's hand in his and tugged him down to join him. He encouraged him onto his lap, then wrapped his arms around him and kissed him, this time more thoroughly. "I can do that." Hold him, kiss him, touch him... he was more than willing to do all of that.

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