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Tweak says, "The bunnies are attacking!!!"

Schuldig (sweetlikehoney) wrote in labyrinth_rpg,
@ 2009-03-29 17:24:00

Entry tags:

armand, complete, day four, schuldig

Who: Armand and Schuldig
When: Day Four, after the ball
What: Someone's got some 'splainin to do...
Where: Their room
Rating: It's Armand, and Schu. At least an R.
Status: Complete!

The ball had been better than Schuldig had expected. The dancing had been surprisingly fun, the panic from the huge monster had been entertaining, and he'd gotten laid, which was always a plus. He'd gotten out from the bathroom and Faith almost immediately went over to the crying kid, so, searching mentally for Armand, he decided it was time to head home. The walk over the huge courtyard where the Labyrinth used to be had been long, but the telepath had hardly noticed, too wrapped up in his own thoughts and the thoughts of others.

When he finally got back to the room, he was still thinking about Faith. She was such a complicated girl, intriguing. How she could go from fucking someone in a bathroom to comforting a small girl almost reminded him of himself. "Hey babe." He grinned at Armand, leaning over to kiss him softly (and probably still tasting and smelling of Faith, to his vampire senses) before taking the jacket he had worn to the ball off, looking somehow completely right and at home in the poet's shirt and vest.

"Have fun?" Schuldig sat on their bed and then turned onto his side to look at Armand, his hands running through his long hair almost unconsciously. He was still so wrapped up in himself, Faith, and now Armand, that he didn't even realize what Armand had done once they had separated, simply that he had left when the monster came. And, in all honesty, he didn't think it was his business to care.

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vagabond_child
2009-04-01 03:40 am UTC (link)

"You're putting words into my mouth that I never said..." The vampire blinked tears away, somewhere between angry and hurt, not really sure what was going on. "It never even occured to me to think of you that way, that's the whole problem! If I could have turned you into a pet, that would have been entirely different. Falling in love with a mortal is terrifying. Each day, you're on the brink of disaster. That's why I have normally clung to my own kind. But it's hard to think of you as a mortal, you're too much like me." He thought about that for awhile, then added in a quieter tone. "Only better, better than all of us. That's the tragedy of loving a mortal."

His hand, still slightly browned from the sun, rested on the wood, still drawing strength from it. He tried to fight it down, but he was getting angry again. The words the human was just flinging in his face... "Yes, I found a girl and fed from her. It's what I do. I'm a vampire. Do you know how much blood I could take? Enough to kill you five times over, especially when I'm injured." He held up his hand, still darker than usual, though it made him look more human. "Do you want me to kill you? Would that prove a point to you? You do not have enough blood in your entire body to feed me, not to fill me."

Despite his best efforts, he was getting angry again. He couldn't help it. "And you, you were having sex in a bathroom, of all the crude things, and you have the nerve to accuse me of being a hypocrite?" Angry was better, he decided. He wasn't so close to tears this way. "Your actions were no better than mine! And I forgave you! Why are you doing this to me? I fed on her, I will feed on her or others again, do you understand that? I'm a vampire!"

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sweetlikehoney
2009-04-01 04:03 am UTC (link)

"Oh. Oh yes, that's right. You forgave me. AFTER I SWORE I WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN! And does this mean you were lying when you said you didn't need to feed? It's obviously not quite like food, if you can live without it, is it? What is it then...more of a lust? So I must control my lusts, but you don't need to control yours?! Please explain to me how that's fair!" He fell onto the bed, now, squeezing his eyes shut to try and blink back tears and letting out a long, shaky breath.

"I would have been fine with you feeding on whoever you wanted. Sleeping with whoever you wanted. Loving whoever you wanted. I automatically assumed that we weren't tied to each other. It was you that wanted commitment, you that got angry at me, almost killed me over it. I wouldn't have voiced a problem with this, if you hadn't made it so abundantly clear what you wanted, and made me seem like the one in the wrong. You let me be confused and scared when you did something just as bad!" The telepath clenched his jaw, trying to gather his thoughts and failing pathetically.

"You mentioned that I was jealous, but I'm not jealous. I'm angry, I'm betrayed! I'm not mad about you feeding. I'm mad about you holding yourself to different standards than me! So if you want to feed, feed. But to then go and make me feel guilty for doing something when I had no knowledge that you didn't want me to...it's disgusting!" And then, his head snapped in Armand's direction.

"Maybe you should kill me. It'd fix a lot of problems, wouldn't it? The confusion would be completely gone! You'd be a vampire, and I'd just be one of your victims. None of this falling in love bullshit. Just death. I think that might be nice."

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vagabond_child
2009-04-01 04:12 am UTC (link)

"Fine. If you insist that feeding is like sex, it must be so. After all, you're the expert. You've been bitten twice, is it? So, of course, how stupid of me to think I might have a damn idea why I did something! Excuse me for..." He cut himself off, angry with the whole situation, and stormed over to the window where Schuldig had been standing until recently.

"If you can't handle the fact that I am what I am, fine. I won't try to make you. And I won't hold you to any promise you made, since I apparently got it out of you under false pretenses. I disagree, but I don't really think that matters to you. What does it matter, anyway? What does any of it matter?" He took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm himself down, but these fits of temper he got into were always a bit hard to control. But he could kill Schuldig just by getting too angry and forgetting himself. A human, a mortal, fragile inherently.

"I'm not going to kill you. No matter what you do. Someone who has my love gets that, whether they return it or not." Then, he'd tried to kill Lestat, but really, wasn't it Lestat's strength that had actually made Armand feel love for him? He sighed and rested his forehead against the cold glass, gazing out at the night to keep from having to look at the human.

His voice was very soft when he spoke again. "If I disgust you so much, well, I won't stop you from leaving. Or protest if you put me out, since you were here first." How was it possible for him to be all fire one second, and sound so defeated the next? But, then, it wasn't so much a surprise to him that this was falling apart. The only shock was how quickly it had happened. "I wouldn't want to burden you with my presence."

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sweetlikehoney
2009-04-01 06:18 am UTC (link)

"I'm not saying that I know more than you. But I've asked you, begged you to explain it to me, to help me understand, and you haven't. Who's fault is that? I want to understand, to be able to forgive you, but I can't with the information I have. Yes, I've been fed on twice, and both of those times have been amazing, intimate, sexual experiences. Are you saying what you did to Juniper was different?" He sighed, curling up and pulling his knees close.

"I don't want to leave, Armand. I don't want you to kill me. I just want to understand. Can you try, for a moment, to think back to when you were mortal? Did you understand Marius? Did you want to? I can't...I can't know what it's like, and that kills me. Because what it seems like makes me burn with anger, and yet you insist that it's not how it seems." He rose, and in what seemed like a flash, much like vampire movement really, he was next to Armand, cupping his face. "Please. Tell me, show me. Help me to understand and forgive."

This was his last chance, really, to come out of this with some sort of sanity. He was so confused, but he didn't want to be angry at Armand anymore. He couldn't handle having those beautiful features so upset, and he found it hard to hold a grudge against the boy for very long. It was frustrating, how much of a hold the other had over him.

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vagabond_child
2009-04-01 06:35 am UTC (link)

"There is a difference between sexuality and sensuality. Didn't anyone ever..." He sighed softly, and brought his fingers to his temples. Of course, he didn't get headaches anymore, but even after five hundred years, some habits from mortal life remained. "I... I don't know how to explain! It eludes me! Yes, it was different. I didn't make love to her, as you did to your Slayer, did I?"

He took a deep breath, knowing if he was going to get anywhere with this, he needed to not be yelling. Even if he was beyond frustrated with trying to explain something to someone who had little base of reference. "Marius took me as a slave, my love. You are anything but. But I knew Marius was different from the beginning, and I wanted what he had." He tried to remember back to the bratty child he had been then.

Maybe if he had been less focused inward, he would have noticed when Schu actually got off the bed and came to him. Maybe not, though. The telepath was good. But the next thing Armand knew, his face was between his lovers hands, and they were so close together. He searched his eyes, and then sighed softly. "I wish... I wish there was some way to...." He frowned, and then rested his head against Schu's forehead, really more of a caress.

"I can show you!" Excited, he put all his experiences into the forefront of his mind. Sex, and how it was only done with those he loved, and feeding, which was done regardless of who he was with. How there were aspects the same. But could Schu understand the context? He had no idea, but had to try.

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sweetlikehoney
2009-04-06 09:16 pm UTC (link)

"I didn't make love to her. There was no love there. For me, sensuality is almost deeper than sexuality...I'm sexual with everyone I find attractive. Raw sex means nothing. It wasn't like when I was with you, when..." When he had cared. It bothered him. He hadn't expected there to be any real affection for Armand. And yet if there hadn't been, why would be still be here? Why would he have this need to work things out, to have Armand still want him? It was ridiculous, it was frightening, but it was there.

He sighed and looked down, pouting a tiny bit. "I wanted to be special, feel special: your beautiful, powerful telepathic human...but now there's someone else that can be that." And his ego didn't take well to such things. When their foreheads pressed together, Schu simply smiled, soaking luxuriously in the pleasant detail and prose of Armand's thoughts through the increased connection...which would turn out to be nearly fatal.

He knew Armand was going to show him beforehand...but he had expected simply pictures and feelings, not technicolour and surround sound experiences. He had expected sensations, but none this intense, none this rich. A sharp gasp escaped him and he staggered, pressing a hand to his temple (in real pain, unlike Armand's gesture) and shutting his eyes as he fell against the wall. His brain had gone into overload, trying to process and let Schuldig see and feel everything Armand had given him. It was all overwhelming, the potency was overwhelming. He wanted it all, took it all in, knowing he would have a horrible migraine after but not caring, simply amazed and hungry for all of it. Groans escaped him as years and years of gorgeous and luscious feelings washed over him.

He was lucky that his mind was so much stronger than most mortals'. Humans only use a small percentage of their brain...for Schuldig, a little bit more of that was 'unlocked', in a way, and it allowed him to go into overdrive without shorting out. He'd dealt with 12 million busy voices in his head at once and only developed a dependency on headache medication, he could handle this. He hoped.

Some time through it all he'd fallen back to the floor, and eventually it all faded, ending on Armand's most recent feeding on Juniper, and he managed to open his eyes, but he was panting from both exertion and arousal from the incredibly sexual (and sensual, a part of him now clarified) memories. The room was spinning slightly, and he closed his eyes again, swallowing. "That was very, very stupid, and dangerous...but thank you. I'll say more when I have the energy, I promise."

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vagabond_child
2009-04-06 10:37 pm UTC (link)

Remorse filled him instantly as he felt the tension in the telepath's mind. Had he ever shown a mortal any of the things he'd shown Schu? Yes, he'd opened himself mentally to other vampires, on occasion, but only to them. But, then, most mortals didn't have the ability to handle it, even as well as Schu had. But Armand, though he was a vampire, did feel guilt.

Part of him would never get past his unbringing, which had been deeply religious. And guilt had been a big part of it. So, perhaps more than most vampires, he felt it strongly. And he had hurt this man, which horrified him. He rose to his feet, walked over to his lover, and then knelt down beside him. Very, very gently, he wrapped his arms around him and picked him up, needing hardly any strength to do it, though Schuldig was taller than him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think..." Which was his major flaw, most of the time, it seemed. Along with his dependence on others that was never shared. He deliberately spoke out loud, kept his thoughts shielded, to keep from hurting the telepath any more than he already had.

Effortlessly, he deposited the human on his bed, and then climbed in with him. It was hours yet until sunrise. He didn't have to go to his coffin, not yet. Gently, his fingers roamed over Schu's face, trying to ease the pain, cuddled up close to him, whispering softly again. "I'm sorry..."

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