primitive_soul (primitive_soul) wrote in kobols_legacies, @ 2008-01-18 17:03:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | pensive |
Current music: | The Sound of White - Missy Higgins |
Dead Letters
Dear Nathan,
Sorry I haven't written in a while, but things have been very busy in the hangar since the toasters hit us. I'm working real hard, twelve hour shifts, but its slowing down again so I have time to sit down and talk to you. The food here's no better, but I guess I can't complain. A lot of the people I'm working with are really nice, even if I haven't quite managed to really talk to any of them yet. Either they get too close too soon or one of them says something that's a little too cute, and I just shut down. I am trying, though, I promise. I know that's what you'd want.
I even had most of a conversation with a pregnant officer the other day without staring a hole through her. She asked me about flight training, of all things. Seems like the PO told her I had a gift, guess she thinks I ought to be using it. I don't know, I told her I'd think about it, and I've been reading over the information packet I got. Its a lot of work, and even more school, which I never liked that much even before, but who knows? As long as I'm here, I might as well be of some use, right?
There's going to be a pyramid tournament on the Shangri-La, which is a swanky civillian boat where people go for their leaves. I considered signing up for the team, but I'm too short and I don't think I could stand being up that close with so many strangers just yet. Its hard enough being at such close quarters with people here, much less folks I've never met. But I'll be going to cheer on our team, maybe try to wrangle some leave time so I can think the pilot thing out some more. I haven't had any time off in a year, haven't really thought about it because its been easier that way. But if I'm going to poke my head up and do this, I guess it matters that I should be serious about it. Try to live like everyone else.
I dreamed about snow last night, the way I always do when things are going to change. The flakes were falling heavy and thick in the place where we used to go camping, covering the ground and making the leaves white. I think I was waiting for you, but you never showed up. I miss snow. If Earth really is out there and we find it, I'm going to make the biggest snowman ever, one that can be seen out in space. Maybe even you'll be able to see it.
I think about you every day. Three years later, and I'll be walking down a corridor here and swear to the gods I'll hear you laugh or be certain that that was you who just walked around a corner and disappeared. Still breaks my heart a little. I can see you shaking your head now, reading this and giving me one of those looks, but it does. Instead of me it should have been us. If you hadn't taken the decision away from me, I wouldn't still feel like half a person. Guess that's how tight love can hang on.
Anyway, its gonna be lights out soon, which means I need to fold this up and put it away with the others. Talking to you like this is the only way I've kept my frakking head on straight since the Colonies fell. Easier than trying to explain it to someone else. I'll talk to you again real soon, I promise.
Love you always,
Alice