Aidrian d'Ravanos (feral_synthesis) wrote in justourstory, @ 2008-04-11 23:44:00 |
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Current music: | best I ever had - vertical horizon |
[narrative]
Who: Aidrian
When: 4/11/08, late evening
Where: Beach, away from the really busy piers (i.e. Fisherman's Wharf)
What: Aidrian reflects
Status: Complete
Rating: PG maybe? It's just angsty
The sunset seemed to mirror how he felt, Aidrian reflected, moving along the sandy shoreline at a slow pace. The sun itself hovered between the worlds, seeming to sink down into the ocean but still in the sky. He felt like the orange globe, caught between the joy of no more running and dodging police. Of having some kind of stability, a pack to bond with and increasing desire to hide and be alone. He couldn't shake the feeling that crept up on him as six months came and went. He felt distant and yet couldn't seem to do anything about it. Just this empty feeling and a fleeting terror that history would repeat itself.
He'd left his shoes in the car, wanting to feel land under his feet for once. He'd learned to balance the urban jungle with the natural one; there was no choice in that. But sometimes he badly needed to be touching something that wasn't a neat, manicured garden or lawn. Something real and alive. The wind kicked up, bringing salt scented dampness with it, clean and almost untainted by the smells of human civilization not so far away. This part was less used than near the touristy sections of the piers. He could close his eyes for a moment and almost forget. Except he could hear the babble of voices and the rumble of cars. If it wouldn't get him locked up, the thought of shifting to stallion and running was tempting. Almost strong enough to do it anyway despite the consequences.
A slight smile came to his face at that thought. Probably how his twin felt, except Raksha was likely to do it even knowing the consequences. The smile fell away again. He missed his holy terror of a brother. He'd known they might not be together forever, but the suddenness of Raksha moving to Izzy's had hit him harder than he'd thought it would. He'd never be one to be content with only a mate and not blood or adoptive family. No matter how many times he wanted to slap his twin, Raksha was as impossible to live without as he was to live with. And after all that it had taken for them to be where they were...for Raksha to just up and walk out like it was nothing. Just like before, except for a different reason this time.
He paused and found a spot to sit; gazing at the myriad of fiery hues the sky had turned. The day's final hurrah before the indigo of night blanketed the horizon. Watching it sink, he pushed away the emotions stirred up by Raksha's sudden absence. He was happy, despite how chaotic his twin's relationship with Izzy seemed to be, that Raksha had maybe found something. He’d been there himself, though with maybe less of the chaos. Or a different kind anyhow.
The shadows lengthened into full dark and the city became a glittering spectacle of tiny lights, the harsh angles of the day gone for awhile. A tension he’d not fully been aware of eased. He spent too many nights in the club these days and not enough out here away from the chaos. The sand chilling beneath his bare feet jerked him out of his thoughts and it occurred to him that Andi might be wondering if he was coming back tonight. He got to his feet with easy grace, despite a slight chilled stiffness from sitting and turned to head back to the car. And back to life.