InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I've been mad for years."

ɢᴀʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀᴅᴇᴇᴘ (galeofwaterdeep) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2016-08-28 13:26:00

Entry tags:

claire saunders / whiskey, gabriel gray / sylar, lincoln campbell

I know people have abilities here. I was curious if any of those abilities were related to memory.

lincoln.

There's something I need to tell you. Something I probably should have told you a while ago.

(Post a new comment)

	Lincoln/Claire sparkplug 2016-08-28 01:30 pm UTC (link)
	Is everything alright? You know I'm always willing to listen to whatever it is. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lincoln \| claire. galeofwaterdeep 2016-08-28 01:36 pm UTC (link)
	We're friends. Or I like to think we're friends. I've never really had many, but I think we are. I don't know. I'm not very good at this kind of thing. And because we're friends, I shouldn't keep lying to you. I'm not a person. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lincoln \| claire. sparkplug 2016-08-28 01:48 pm UTC (link)
	I was under the impression that we were friends. So, yes. We're friends. You're not a person? You might have to elaborate because, you know, I'm not fully human. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lincoln | claire.

galeofwaterdeep
2016-08-28 02:05 pm UTC (link)

Okay.

I'm not saying this right. I've never had to explain it before. Everyone who needed to know knew and everyone else...there wasn't anyone else. It isn't like...it's not like your ability. You may not be human, but you're still a person. I'm not.

There was a corporation. Rossum. And they developed this technology. It was terrible. They could wipe a person's original personality and imprint them to be anyone they wanted. And they used them for various things. It was awful. I worked there, in one of the Houses, as their doctor. I cared about them. Someone needed to. It was important that someone was there who cared about them. Or that's why I thought I was there.

But that was all what they put in my head. Or her head. I'm not real. I'm just a very sophisticated computer program they put in some poor girl's head. She...or I...was one of their subjects. And I was very good, or so they told me after I found out. There was another Active, they called them Actives...or Dolls but that one wasn't as scientific, who had what was called a composite event. He remembered all of his imprints, including his original base identity and snapped. He had been a serial killer before the program got him. He killed the House's doctor and attacked me. He's why I have my scars.

After, they needed a doctor. And they couldn't use me for an Active any more. People wouldn't pay for a face like this. So they created me. A new use for a broken doll. I don't remember who I was...who she was...before Rossum. I could have read the file, but I didn't. I was scared. I'm not real, but I didn't exactly want to die to give this body back to someone I never met.

I know I'm not a good person. I know I should have made them give her back her body. But even if I'm not real, I feel alive. I have memories. I had a life. Even if none of it's real, it's something.

I thought you deserved to know. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner.

I want to give her a chance to live. If I can. And I don't know what that means for me. But I'm sorry. I understand if you can't forgive me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lincoln | claire.

sparkplug
2016-08-28 02:27 pm UTC (link)

I'm glad you told me. No. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me all of this. Any of this.

I know you don't think of yourself as a person but you are. It doesn't matter if the memories you have aren't yours. It doesn't matter where they came from or how you got them. You've made your own decisions. You have your own life. I know I've made you laugh once or twice even if you'll never admit it. You're more than what they made you. More than what you think you are. You're real.

You're a good person. That doesn't mean you haven't made some bad choices but I think that goes for me too. I think that goes for my friends. And, hell, even if we aren't good people that doesn't mean we can't change or become better.

Don't apologize for what they did to you. That wasn't your fault. That's entirely on them.

I understand if you want to give her a chance at a life and I respect that decision. I stand by it because its your decision and no one should ever take that away from you. So whatever you want to do, whatever you need, you will always have my support. We're friends, Claire and I will shower you with junk food until you understand that nothing can change that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lincoln \| claire. galeofwaterdeep 2016-08-30 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, Lincoln. I really don't know what I would do without you. I'll let you know how it turns out, one way or another. And if I'm not...me, after this, please don't hold it against her. She never asked for this. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	abravenewworld 2016-08-28 02:17 pm UTC (link)
	A few. It depends on what you're looking for. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	galeofwaterdeep 2016-08-28 02:22 pm UTC (link)
	I wanted to get back memories that were removed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	abravenewworld 2016-08-28 02:45 pm UTC (link)
	I think that would be within my scope of abilities. It might... take awhile. And I'll probably end up disoriented afterwards. But I could do it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	galeofwaterdeep 2016-08-28 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	And you're sure it won't hurt you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	abravenewworld 2016-08-28 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	Hurt? Not so much. I'll be confused for a bit afterward. I have to see the memories to retrieve them. And that usually results in me having to take some time to seperate them from my own afterward. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

galeofwaterdeep
2016-08-30 11:03 pm UTC (link)

Just to warn you, it's a lot. Basically an entire lifetime of memories.

gabriel.

All the memories I have aren't really mine. I want to remember who I was before that.

But I also want to remember who I am now.

I'm not sure it will actually work, but I want to try.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gabriel \| claire. abravenewworld 2016-08-30 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	It works. Things blur together, become muddled, and it all ends up a part of you eventually. It just takes some effort to sort the memories between individuals. Or at least, that's my experience. You may crack a little at first. But it evens out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gabriel \| claire. galeofwaterdeep 2016-08-30 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	There's also a chance I'll end up being a lot more than two people. There have been a lot of people in my head over the years. Hopefully I won't crack too badly. I've seen that happen. It doesn't end well. Thank you, for being willing to help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	gabriel \| claire. abravenewworld 2016-08-30 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	I have only got the two in majority. So I'm not sure how it works with multitudes. But if it gets overwhelming, I could block most off. Approach this a little at a time. I will do what I can to keep that from happening. I've got a lifetime to make up for. I help whenever I can. (Reply to this) (Parent)