InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "why bother?"

ʀᴏᴍᴀɴ ɢᴏᴅꜰʀᴇʏ (itshereditary) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2015-10-25 23:49:00

Entry tags:

felicity smoak, grant ward (mcu), jake jensen, kara palamas, peter rumancek, phryne fisher, roman godfrey

Well, now that my cunt of a mother is gone, hopefully forever, I think it's time to celebrate. Not quite as good as the bitch being dead, granted, but it's close enough for government work.

So, the Velvet Room is going to be having one long Halloween Party all this week, culminating in a masquerade on Devil's Night and an all-night party for Halloween. Let the revelry commence and all that jazz.

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	vargulfed 2015-10-26 08:21 pm UTC (link)
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	itshereditary 2015-10-26 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Peter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vargulfed 2015-10-26 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	Roman. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

itshereditary
2015-10-27 12:06 am UTC (link)

How was I supposed to tell you, Peter?

You fucking left me. You abandoned me. With her. And with those changes. And I was coming apart at the seams trying not to lose myself. Trying not to hurt everyone around me. And then you were back but...I couldn't. You loved Letha. And she was gone. And all you had was the memory of how she was. And we had to protect Nadia. And then she was gone. And Miranda. And Norman was dead. And Shelley was...she was a fucking shell of herself. And you were all I fucking had. I couldn't lose you too. And I knew that I would if you knew.

Please. You have to understand. I couldn't tell you. I hated myself enough without you hating me too.

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	vargulfed 2015-10-27 12:28 am UTC (link)
	You could have just told me. I was useless. I didn't know anything anymore. I loved Letha. I loved Nadia. I was ready to be whatever or whoever they needed me to be. You matter to me. You, Nadia, Destiny. You're all I have left. It wouldn't have changed anything. I know Olivia. You wouldn't have lost me. I understand. I don't hate you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

itshereditary
2015-10-27 02:20 am UTC (link)

I couldn't. I didn't even want to think about it.

Nadia's gone. Letha's gone. Miranda's gone. Destiny isn't here. And I don't know if I'd want her to be because she hates me and one day you're gonna have to pick one of us. And it won't be me. You would never pick me over her. Would you? I'm going to lose everyone. And I'm going to become just like my mother.

You should hate me. I don't know why you don't. Why the fuck don't you hate me? I do. I hate myself so fucking much. I should have fucking died that night.

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vargulfed
2015-10-27 02:52 am UTC (link)

I understand.

Destiny is the only family I've got left. God knows if Lynda is even still alive. That being said, she's also judgmental and over-dramatic. So it would have to take some legitimate shit to get me to pick her over you. Besides, despite her not liking you, she knows I need you. We're not really good at being alone. You're not going to lose me, fuckhead and I would rip your throat out before I let you become like Olivia.

I don't hate you because I love you, you moron. I don't know if I'd be able to survive losing someone else I love.

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	itshereditary 2015-10-27 03:21 am UTC (link)
	You'd have to rip out my heart, to be safe. Fitting really. Fuck, Peter. You can't say shit like that. You just can't. I'm not...I don't deserve that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vargulfed 2015-10-27 03:24 am UTC (link)
	I'd be gone too. So it does fit. You asked. I can't lie. You deserve it as much as anyone else does. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itshereditary 2015-10-27 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Mutually assured destruction? Sounds like us. I don't deserve good things. I'm a monster. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vargulfed 2015-10-27 04:14 am UTC (link)
	It'll be written on our side by side graves. You deserve good things as much as I do. I'm a monster too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itshereditary 2015-10-27 05:32 am UTC (link)
	As if we'd allow ourselves to be that far apart. Tell Destiny to burn the bodies, and combine the ashes. They can engrave it on the urn. You're the second most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vargulfed 2015-10-27 05:37 am UTC (link)
	She'd do it up right. A proper Romany funeral with all the trimmings. There was a really long time where I didn't think I was ever going to feel this way about a person. You are pretty goddamn perfect to me too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itshereditary 2015-10-27 05:43 am UTC (link)
	That'd be a sight to see. All that gypsy shit. It was fate, or some shit. Ever since that night when we met at the spot where Brooke was killed. I remember the first time I saw you turn. I didn't think anything had ever felt so right until I looked at Nadia for the first time. You and her...you're everything. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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