InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Charrrrrrmed"

clint barton sees better from a distance (theyremymess) wrote in jurassiccitynet,
@ 2017-02-17 19:57:00

Entry tags:

clint barton / hawkeye (mcu), melinda may, phil coulson (mcu)

Sure. Why not. This seems like a thing.

May, you're great and all, but I am way past the age for drunk one-night stands, so I'm guessing this is magic. Really weird magic.

I hate magic.

Futz me. My wife is going to kill me.

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	disappointeddad 2017-02-18 01:53 am UTC (link)
	Then maybe she will kill you. I'll make sure the funeral is tasteful. Wait. You're kidding, right? This is some sort of prank to get back at me for... well, the whole being dead thing. And to be fair, I was dead. Just not as long as Nick wanted everyone to think I was. And I wanted to. I just wasn't allowed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

theyremymess
2017-02-18 02:02 am UTC (link)

I've sparred with Nat at least once a week for over a decade. I can handle sparring with May. Besides, I like a challenge. If it's too easy, it's not fun.

Her name's Laura. We have three kids. Coop, Lila and Nate. Nick's the godfather. Nat's the godmother. Nick comes to Sunday dinner whenever he has time. Nat's still offended Nathaniel wasn't a Natasha.

Bullshit.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	disappointeddad 2017-02-18 02:05 am UTC (link)
	Huh. I guess Nick was keeping my secrets than I figured he was. I have to say. This is... unexpected. But I suppose understandable considering your position. Black Ops doesn't usually make for a happy home situation when your information is public. It was protocol at first. Then just safer to keep the Avengers out of it all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	survives 2017-02-18 02:14 am UTC (link)
	Great Lord Coulson is a fallible entity. Oh, how his disciples will weep. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theyremymess 2017-02-18 02:18 am UTC (link)
	Hey, he's got the whole Jesus resurrection thing going for him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	survives 2017-02-18 02:19 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. Until he went bonkers and tried to murder everyone because of it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theyremymess 2017-02-18 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Kid, Nick Fury is one of my best friends in the world. Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	survives 2017-02-18 02:22 am UTC (link)
	Maybe not everyone. But he wasn't particularly concerned with the collateral damage. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theyremymess 2017-02-18 04:48 pm UTC (link)
	So, I'm detecting some bitterness here. Phil didn't hug you enough? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

survives
2017-02-18 06:49 pm UTC (link)

He got close once. But I don't think it ever actually happened. But he did plenty of other things. Some of them I deserved. Others... Well.

Most people would think twice about handing someone over to their abuse older brother just to get rid of them. Especially when they knew full well that the ultimate result would have been an execution and said person was trying to be better than what they were.

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	theyremymess 2017-02-18 02:19 am UTC (link)
	They weren't Nick's secrets to keep. They were mine. It was a condition of joining. I didn't want Laura being put in harm's way. Nobody else knew. Just Nick and Nat. When I took Nat off to break her conditioning, I took her to the farm. It was good for her. Again, bullshit. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	disappointeddad 2017-02-18 02:25 am UTC (link)
	So, that's where you guys disappeared to. All I got was that it was above my pay grade. All right. Fine. I was afraid of how you'd react. And I made a lot of decisions I wasn't proud of. And I wasn't the same person that any of you knew before. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theyremymess 2017-02-18 04:48 pm UTC (link)
	Well, it was above your paygrade. Because you're a dumbass. We're friends, Phil. I wasn't going to judge you because you made some shit choices. Okay, I'd judge a little, but I wouldn't stop being your friend. So, let's try this again. Do-over or whatever. Hi, I'm Clint Barton. I shoot arrows and tell dad jokes and I have a secret farm and a secret family. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

disappointeddad
2017-02-18 06:56 pm UTC (link)

You'd have judged me most of these, Clint. I was judging myself pretty harshly for most of them. Nick put me in charge. He should have realized how badly that would go. I think with my heart, my emotions, and that's not the way things need to be run.

Phil Coulson. Until very recently, the Director of SHIELD's covert unauthorized reconstruction, unapologetic Captain America fan boy, and walking bad decision machine.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	shutupbarton 2017-02-18 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	Waitaminute-waitaminute-wait-a-minute. You have a farm and a family? You are totally...that's just...Wow. Kate. Another Hawkeye. We say the best back home ~~and would say it here too but we're playing nice~~ Your once and former protege from another reality. What's your favorite Dad joke? (Reply to this) (Parent)

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