I'd say your face is awful and you're the worst, but I'd be lying. I did tell May that we broke the dishwasher to avoid doing dishes.
1. I didn't do anything goofy as a teenager. I mostly tried to screw up my sister's life because I was awful. And then I died. All my goofy stuff came after and you were there for most of it.
2. You. But you knew that. You're the only person I've ever slept with.
3. I watch a lot of terrible shows. All terrible shows. I think the worst is probably Scream Queens.
4. "The lesbian dinosaurs should have giant strap-ons". It was the first thing I said to you, which was an awful introduction.