Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I blame Jesus."

Angelina Johnson (flyingangel) wrote in irreparable,
@ 2011-01-21 21:56:00

Entry tags:

angelina johnson, miles bletchley

WHO: Miles and Angelina
WHAT: Finally talking after a break
WHEN: Friday night

Miles,

I think it's time we talk. I had time to think about the state of our relationship and a long talk with George and I want to discuss it with you. ~~I'm not ready to give up yet, but I do think we need take a step ba~~

Are you around tonight?

Angelina

(Post a new comment)

	Return Owl quiddystar 2011-01-22 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Angelina, I'm around. Do you want to come by my place? Miles (Reply to this) (Thread)

Return Owl

flyingangel
2011-01-22 07:09 am UTC (link)

Miles,

Expect me shortly after this owl.

Angelina

Angelina took her time making sure her waterproof makeup was applied right. She drank a big glass of water and sat alone breathing for a while. Angelina needed to make it through everything she had to say without crying. She didn't want to rely on good fortune to keep her in control.

When she had psyched herself up to it she took her purse and apparated near Miles' house, coming to the front door and knocking.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-22 07:14 am UTC (link)

Miles tidied quickly, getting the Elf out to do so. He was in the apartment, and had been staying there a lot while there were renovations being done on the house he'd purchased. He was going to furnish it, too, then go spend some time there before his training started up again. See how he liked the place. It was lovely to start, but it was far away from everything. Maybe he'd just keep it as a summer home.

Anyway, he was both thrilled and terrified that Angelina was coming over. He hoped it was a good sign that she agreed to come here. That she contacted him to meet. He hopped to the door, telling the Elf to go to his "room" and take the rest of the night off, then opened the door to let Angelina in.

"Hi." He said, giving her a little smile. "You look lovely."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-22 07:19 am UTC (link)
	"Oh," she said, not expecting a compliment on her appearance. She was more concerned with keeping it together than looking special. "Thanks." Angelina set her purse down in the doorway. She was going to lose her nerve and start crying if she sat for too long. "Thanks for agreeing to see me," she said. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-22 07:48 am UTC (link)
	Miles let her through the doorway and moved to close the door behind her. "Of course." He said, giving a nod in response to her thanks. "I'm really glad you decided to come over." He didn't want to push for anything, didn't want her to think he was... eager. But he was. He wanted to hold her again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-22 05:32 pm UTC (link)
	"Believe me," she said, "Right now it would be easier to become a shut in and let you move on with your life." Going out in Wizarding public was rough. She found that some women were upset that the papers had made her out to be stealing a pregnant woman's boyfriend. Most, however, were upset that she was breaking Miles Bletchley's heart. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-22 07:02 pm UTC (link)
	Miles gave a little shrug. "I'm used to these horrible attentions. You don't need to worry about me." He responded, shaking his head just a little. "I don't want to move on with my life." He added softly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-22 07:50 pm UTC (link)

"Your fans are... horrid," she admitted. "Rabid girls. I thought it was bad when they found out you weren't sleeping around anymore."

Angelina took a deep sigh. It was easy enough to complain about the media attention. That wasn't why she was here.

"I'm worried that we did this all wrong and that we've ruined our chances," she finally admitted. "I feel like I gave you the ultimatum to be exclusive and instead of starting a real relationship we just decided to shag exclusively."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-22 09:53 pm UTC (link)

Miles lifted an awkward hand and scratched at the hair on the back of his neck, nervously. "Yeah, well... you should see some of the mail I've been getting. Marriage proposals, 'good riddance' letters, that sort of thing." He threw it all away, but it was still kinda fun to read.

"...I see." He paused for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. "Well... honestly, that may be how things started. But we've been together for months now, and... when I'm with you, I couldn't be happier."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-22 10:39 pm UTC (link)

"But we..." Angelina didn't think he was getting the point. "We dove right into sex and every time we meet up, it just leads to sex. I feel like you and I are just having sex and dinner and I can't shake the feeling that we've missed out on building what's important. And you came from having meaningless sex straight into a relationship. It makes me wonder if it means the same thing for you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-23 12:43 am UTC (link)
	Miles frowned just a little. "And I don't suppose if I told you otherwise, you'd believe me?" He asked, wondering if this was the break-up talk he'd been fearing. He didn't want to break up. He didn't want her to break up with him, not now. Not when he'd finally found... whatever this was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-23 06:22 am UTC (link)

"No," she shook her head, "Sorry." She didn't want to break up with him either, but she felt like she was missing the real deep connection. Maybe she was just searching for something she'd never have again. Maybe she was supposed to settle. But she knew how great it could be, because of Fred, and she wasn't old enough or jaded enough to give up on that dream yet.

"If we were going to try to continue on, we'd have to do something drastic."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-23 06:43 am UTC (link)
	Miles gave a little sigh. How was he supposed to respond to that? He lifted his hand, ran it over his head, then turned to head into the kitchen, motioning for her to come along with him if she wanted to. "I'm sorry, I need a drink." He needed like, eight. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-23 07:04 am UTC (link)
	Walking away for a drink didn't sound like he was willing to make changes. Angelina followed, him, though. Her spirit was bruised, if not broken, from her miserable week. Her own emotional turmoil was being compounded by the external criticism. it was hard to make these tough decisions with so many people telling you what to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-23 07:10 am UTC (link)

Miles pulled a beer out of the fridge and popped the top off, then he took a gulp from it as he thought. What kind of changes? What had he done wrong? He'd been a bit paranoid and jealous, sure. But what guy wasn't when they had an amazing girl?

He set the bottle down on the countertop. "What kind of changes do you mean?" He asked, genuinely interested. He wanted to make things right, he just didn't know how.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-23 07:14 am UTC (link)

"Well, I was also thinking about the George thing. I mean, you and Audrey and... well you should know that yes, I'm always going to have feelings for George, but I have more self restraint than you give me credit for and you know my full history with him. He's with Audrey and I respect that and I'm still going to be friends with him.

"But maybe you got so worried because George and I have had sex once but we're close. You and I shag every time we see each other, but I feel like everything else is just carb-loading and pillow talk.

"I think we need to stop having sex for a while."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-23 07:21 am UTC (link)
	Miles took all that in, and gave a little nod. "All right." He could go without sex. It wouldn't be easy, and it wouldn't be fun, but he definitely could do it for her. "...you and George have more than just a close friendship and one night of sex. You've got history. You've got this crazy long past, and I just... I don't know how to compete with that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-23 07:23 am UTC (link)
	"Well you're not competing with that. He's getting married and having a kid. That's that." She wasn't sure how to explain it, because she had just admitted that she was always going to love him. "We've got history, but so far you and I just have sex. A lot of great sex, but we've let everything revolve around it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-23 07:28 am UTC (link)

"Yeah, but you're always going to have a thing for him." Miles argued. "How are you going to have room for me in your heart--in your life--if he's always there?" He asked, turning to lean against the counter.

"If you want us to stop having sex, we can do that. Do other things in our relationship. Watch films, go dancing, talk. Whatever you want. I just... I don't know if it's going to make any difference. I'm crazy about you, but you've got a thing for someone else."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-23 07:33 am UTC (link)
	Angelina was so stressed and upset and now she was angry. She started crying. "You know who else is always there?" She didn't think she needed to say it, "Damn it, Miles! Don't make this about George. That's just the surface of our problems. It doesn't work that way, it's not a pie you can portion up and claim." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-23 07:39 am UTC (link)

"Do you want to be with me? Do you want this to work out between us?" Miles asked, somewhere between angry and desperate now. "When it all boils down to it? At the end of the day, when you're drifting off to sleep. Do you think of me?" He asked again, now sounding more desperate than angry.

"Because every night since you and I started... whatever this is... save those nights when my memories were stolen," (WHY bring that up?) "I've thought of you. Nearly nonstop thought of you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-23 07:47 am UTC (link)

"I do think of you." Of course some nights those thoughts were only after reminiscing about Fred for a while.

"I want this to work, I don't want to be miserable. I don't want to be alone and angry about the past. But I made a mistake, Miles. I made a mistake because I compromised my values when I hopped right into bed with you as soon as you have me a commitment. I was too eager to stop being alone and I didn't give us a chance to build a foundation."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-24 07:18 am UTC (link)

"I don't know what you want me to say to that. I want things to work out, sure. But I'm not going to apologize for 'jumping into bed with you'." He said, shaking his head. "It was one of the most amazing things I've ever done, and it opened the door to a fantastic relationship. At least, it has been on my end." Now he was starting to think that all of his feelings were one-sided.

"I don't want you to be miserable, but I want you to be with me because you want to be with me, not as a consolation prize."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-24 03:32 pm UTC (link)

"I want to have a family some day. I want to retire from Quidditch in a few years and have kids. Do you know what happens with couples when they have a family? When they're not twenty-something and constantly horny anymore? They settle down, they don't have sex all the time, every day. If I'm going to be with someone, to give my heart to someone I need there to be a foundation to fall back on when we don't have the time or energy or drive to tear each other's clothes off all the time."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-26 06:38 am UTC (link)
	"So... what does that mean? You don't think I'd be a good family man? You think all I want from you is sex?" Miles asked, wondering if he should feel insulted or disappointed. Because he was feeling quite a bit of both. "And no matter what I say, it's not going to change your opinion." He added. "What am I supposed to do with that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-26 03:31 pm UTC (link)
	He wasn't listening. Angelina was getting angry again. To her it sounded like he was just twisting her words so he wouldn't have to work on the relationship without sex. "I'm saying that we wouldn't know how to relate to each other if we suddenly had to go without sex," she said, trying not to snap. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-26 07:33 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't that he wasn't listening, it was that he didn't understand. How did having sex mean they wouldn't know how to relate to each other?

"I disagree." He said, not angrily. "I think you and I have a lot of things in common apart from what we do in the bedroom." He added. "But if you want to stop having sex, we can do that. Whatever you think is going to fix things. I want to fix things. I'll do whatever it takes."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

flyingangel
2011-01-27 01:20 am UTC (link)

Angelina sighed in relief. Maybe he didn't understand where she was coming from, but at least he was willing to try. "Okay," she said. "We need to focus on other things for a while." Angelina was serious about this sudden need for abstinence. She didn't even want to be getting him off without intercourse because that had started before they were together and thus part of the problem for her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-28 02:57 am UTC (link)

"All right." Miles said with a nod. He reached for his beer bottle and gulped from it hungrily. He was trying to think of things they could do together. He wanted to try all sorts of things. The things he'd never tried with other girls, because it was too much of a relationship thing. It took him a moment, but then he turned to her with as much of a smile as he could muster through his fear.

"Oliver's recovering, as I'm sure you know. He and I were jogging every morning... would you like to jog with me in his absence?" He asked. "I'll need someone to work out with while he's out."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-28 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	That sounded like a great idea. Angelina tried to run every day when she could, but her route was riddled with muggle idiots on cellphones not watching their step and tinny yappy dogs who barked at anything near them. "Where do you run?" she asked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

quiddystar
2011-01-28 06:07 pm UTC (link)

"Hadrian's Wall." Miles responded. "It was Oliver's favorite place to run, but I'm starting to love it there." He thought that would be a great idea. They could spend more time together doing non-sex things, go out together in public, make their relationship more solid. (He didn't really understand why they had to stop having sex, but if that's what she wanted....)

"We could start tomorrow morning."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-28 06:18 pm UTC (link)
	"So I meet you here and we head out?" she asked. Angelina had to make sure she did laundry tonight so she would have clean workout clothes. She was really delaying the laundry and as it was she was wearing Christmas socks in January. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-28 06:21 pm UTC (link)
	"Yeah. Six tomorrow morning?" He asked, setting the beer down. He was feeling a little better about what they'd talked about, though he was still rather afraid that this was the beginning of the end for them. He was going to give it his all, though. If this was going to end, he was going to go out fighting for them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-29 12:54 am UTC (link)
	"Six. I'll meet you here." Angelina looked at the time. It was getting late and she still had laundry to do. "I have to go home and wash my sweats, then," she said. "I've been procrastinating on laundry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-29 12:58 am UTC (link)
	"All right." Miles pulled himself upright off of the counter where he'd been leaning, and lowered his hand to her lower back to lead her to the door. He hoped he was still allowed to kiss her. He wanted some kind of physical reassurance that she still... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-29 03:37 am UTC (link)
	Angelina turned at the door. She was going to kiss him but she still felt like it was awkward after all they had been through to just kiss him like it was any other date. She took hold of his hand, though, thinking that was reassuring in its own way. "Tomorrow morning, fresh start. We'll find things to share that we love-- besides sex." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-29 04:09 am UTC (link)
	Miles gave a little nod. He squeezed her hand, then tugged her closer up against him and wrapped his free arm down and around her for a hug. A hug wasn't too much, right? "It'll work out. I promise." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-29 04:28 am UTC (link)
	Angelina wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his shoulder as he hugged her. He smelled nice. She missed how he smelled. Angelina wasn't ready to see this end, not without a fight. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-29 05:43 am UTC (link)
	He held the hug rather tightly for a moment before pressing a kiss to her hair and pulling back. "I'll see you at six." He squeezed her hand once more. "G'night, Angie." He added, stepping with her to the door. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	flyingangel 2011-01-29 05:48 am UTC (link)
	"Goodnight," she said. She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before turning out the door. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	quiddystar 2011-01-29 06:01 am UTC (link)
	He waited until she was out of sight down the hall, then closed the door behind her, leaned against it and sighed. He was good at two things. Quidditch, and picking up women. He was in love with Angelina, that's for sure. But did he have what it took to get her to fall in love with him if he couldn't make love to her? (Reply to this) (Parent)