juli doesn't like having to be the responsible one (monkeydo) wrote in invol_rpg, @ 2012-11-20 18:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! log, ellie wolf, julieta jimenez |
WHO: Julieta Jimenez and Ellie Wolf
WHAT: Girltalk and gossip about Ellie's love life
WHEN: Sunday afternoon
WHERE: Juli's room
WARNINGS: None
STATUS: Complete
Ellie cast a surreptitious glance down the hall. If anyone saw her - well, no, now she felt as paranoid as Logan, which was ridiculous. This was a school, not a CIA training ground. Besides, as far as Ellie was concerned, she wasn't going to name names. She just needed to talk to someone, preferably someone not connected to some sort of 'agenda.' She took a deep breath, hesitated, and then knocked. Juli had spent most of the morning putzing around, stalking the network, finding ways to entertaining herself. Sadie was out doing something - she wasn’t sure what, exactly - and she wasn’t expecting company, so when there was a knock on the door, she startled for a moment. Crossing the room to open the door, she was surprised but pleased to see Ellie, opening the door to let her in. “Hey Ellie,” she said happily. “How goes?” "Hey," Ellie said, as she stepped into the room. She was glad to note that Juli's roommate was nowhere to be seen. "It's... Everything's..." She couldn't exactly say 'fine.' Nervously, Ellie twisted her hands. "Everything's a complete... a complete... mess. I think I've made a huge mistake! Like, monumentally so." The words escaped before she could take them back, and she looked desperately at Juli. "And I can't tell anyone! And..." she added as an afterthought. "You have to swear not to tell anyone!" To say Juli hadn’t been expecting an outburst like that would be an understatement. Eyes wide she sat down on her bed, leaving room for her teammate to join her. Juli wasn’t really the best at keeping secrets completely, but she usually did her best to try, so she nodded at Ellie’s request. “Yeah, of course not. What’s wrong?” Ellie shook her head, joining Juli on the bed. "I can't even begin to explain...I don't even know how this happened!" If Ellie had one talent, it was being dramatic, and she was very, very good at it. "It started, right, and I thought, oh, well, this is fun, but she's always so finicky after, like it's some sort of giant secret! Why do I always like the closet cases?" Ellie waved a hand in the air, as if hoping to punish some unknown fiend who had brought this upon her. "And after what happened with Rashida, well, I feel bad... But it's sort of inevitable in a boarding school, isn't it?" She looked again at Juli. Surely, the other girl agreed with her. Secrets and IVI, secrets and Ellie did not mix well, particularly when they caused her personal distress. “Wait,” Juli said, turning to Ellie, suddenly very curious, though maybe a bit confused. “You’re hooking up with Rashida? Since when? And why is she being finicky? I mean, everyone knows she’s gay, after the VILF list. So being secretive about it at this point doesn’t really make sense.” Not that Juli really understood being secretive about it in general, but under these circumstances it seemed to make even less sense than otherwise. "No!" Ellie paused, and took a deep breath. She needed to be able to explain this, if only for her own sanity. "I'm not. I'm hooking up with..." She hesitated. As much as Ellie was a gossip, she wasn't uncaring. "Someone else. But it's like...my life is some sort of TV show. One minute we're hooking up, and then she's worried that people will KNOW. I have no idea what to do. And with these nightmares..." Ellie just shook her head. After the nightmares, everything had taken a definite turn towards the worse. "Well, let's just say - my own life has become a nightmare. Luckily, my roommate isn't around much to notice." “Wait,” Juli said, still confused, and now just more curious. “Who are you hooking up with? Someone who’s still in the closet, then? Not Rashida?” Her mind started flipping through possibilities, wondering who at IVI it could be. Unfortunately, her gaydar wasn’t particularly well honed, so she was at a loss. “Who is it?” "I can't tell you!" Ellie practically whined. "That's the whole point of 'being in the closet.'" Her only hope was that Juli hadn't noticed the extended practice time between her and Logan. That wasn't the only external tie between the two of them, but it was the most significant right now. "Really, what I need here is some sort of... red line in the sand. Do or die. I can't deal with all this pressure. It's like - I have a secret identity... We have to fix this!" “Fine,” Juli said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall. “Don’t tell me. I don’t care.” It was very obvious she did, though, and she made a face. “It’s going to be hard for me to help you if I don’t know the specifics, though, you know.” Ahd paused for a second, thinking about what Ellie had said so far, before shrugging. “Maybe tell her, though. Like, if she likes hooking up with you, she needs to stop making it a secret?” Ellie gave Julie a look. "I don't think that'll work. She's very..." There was no way that Ellie could describe her situation without giving part of it away. "...repressed." Leaning against the wall, Ellie added, "Plus, I think being in the military has made her super paranoid. She thinks people are going to find out just because we spend loads of time together." Ellie folded her arms, frustrated. "Like that's even probable." “Ohmygod,” Juli said, sitting up quickly and looking at Ellie with wide eyes. “Are you doing Logan?” Juli didn’t think there were any other girls that had been in the military - just her and the girl from Israel, but the one from Israel had the constant pain thing going on, so Juli assumed that if Ellie had been complaining about a relationship with her that would have been the issue, rather than being in the closet. “You and Logan are hooking up?!” Ellie stared at Juli, mouth open. She'd given it away. She'd given it away, and now Logan would never speak to her again. "No!" Her eyes widened, knowing denial could only be seen as confirmation. "No! I never said that! You can't - " Ellie's thoughts stumbled over each other. There was no way that she could talk herself out of this. "If you tell anyone, she'll kill me. I promised..." She'd have to tell Logan now. What with the VILF lists, Ellie owed it to her - as a friend, if nothing else. “Fine, I won’t!” Juli said, but still looked incredibly pleased that she’d figured it out. She was relatively sure it was a secret she’d be able to keep - she didn’t talk about her teammates to most of her friends anyways. Well, except Brad. “Wait, can I not even tell Brad?” she asked. “He’s really good at keeping secrets, I bet. He probably wouldn’t tell anyone.” Ellie sighed. This was virtually impossible. "Fine, but no one else. We're not... It's not serious. I just want her to stop being weird about it." Ellie still refused to use Logan's name, even if it was basically a given now. "I don't know. I'd probably have to change her whole personality at this point!" Ellie was fairly certain that this was only the second worst possible situation in her very short life. “Okay. No one else,” she promised, glad to have someone that she had permission to talk to about it with. After a moment she realized what this conversation actually meant - Ellie was hooking up with Logan, and she turned to the other girl again. “Wait. You’re hooking up with Logan? Is she actually any good? She seems like she’d be so uptight.” "Er -" Ellie didn't know what to say. Saying that Logan was a bit awkward would just confirm everything that everyone already knew, or so Ellie thought. But she liked Logan, and she definitely didn't deserve the reputation of a prude, even if she sort of was one. "She's not - It's different, but she's not uptight about it. Not really. It's just everything else. Like, training and phone calls... and avoiding me at breakfast! Am I really that revolting?" "Maybe she's scared that people will figure it out if she starts being really talkative with you or something?" Juli offered, shrugging. She didn't really know what Ellie saw in Logan in that sense, but she figured now wasn't the time to bring that up. "You're not revolting. Maybe she's been like this with all her ex-girlfriends." Ellie eyed Juli, sceptical that Logan had other girlfriends. "Maybe," she agreed, reluctantly. "Do you think I should end it?" This was the crux of her issue. Really, she'd feel a lot more sane if she didn't have to worry that she was about to accidentally 'out' Logan. Look at how well that had worked for her thus far. "It's all... I just hate... Everything here is magnified. It's as if we live in vacuum of horrible circumstances." “Maybe tell her that?” Juli said with another shrug. “I mean, it probably isn’t fair to just end it without warning, but if you tell her that you can’t deal with keeping her secret so she needs to choose, then at least she gets some say in it?” Juli wasn’t particularly good at relationship stuff, but that seemed like a reasonable suggestion - to her, at least. Even if it did seem a little like an ultimatum, it looked like Ellie was there anyway, so she might as well let Logan know. "Alright, I just feel....bad, I guess? I am trying, but it's very hard. I don't know how people do this." Ellie raised her hands in the air, as if hoping a sign might fall from the sky - or ceiling, as it were. When it didn't, Ellie dropped her hands and looked at Juli. "So, you want to do something else today? I'm tired of all the doom and gloom around here." Even if she were partially responsible for the 'doom and gloom,' Ellie didn't seem to be aware of this. “Don’t feel bad,” Juli said, shaking her head. “I don’t know how people do it either.” At least whatever she was doing with Brad was easy enough and they didn’t have to worry about secrets or who knew what or anything. “Yes!” she agreed at the suggestion to do something, sitting up eagerly. “Pool, maybe? It’s been hot enough, and I need to work on my tan for the beach.” "Ok..." Ellie ignored the comment about 'the beach.' She wasn't going to the beach, and she definitely didn't want to discuss that. Her bizarre relationship, yes. Her disdain for IVI, no. "Maybe I can finally tan..." Ellie sighed and pushed herself off the bed. "Has to better than my current state of overly freckled." Being a ginger was hard. |