InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "once upon a midnight dreary"

Darian Trump (darians) wrote in inshadowfalls,
@ 2012-03-17 19:32:00

Entry tags:

darian trump, maeve noblitt

Who: Darian Trump and Maeve Noblitt.
When: March 17th.
Where: The Ranch.
What: Talking.
Rating: TBD.

To say Maeve's presence had panicked her initially would be an understatement. If she had not been living under the guidance of Tennyson and had come upon Maeve herself, there was little to no doubt in the woman's head that the other Fenris wolf would have been dead. When her own head was considered a prize among a pack of aggressive wolves, she was not willing to gamble with her chances. Being noble and kind was not in her best interest if she could not guarantee that she would be alive. For that reason, it was likely best that Ten had encountered Maeve and that the other was well out of her way.

After the first couple of days passed by, Darian had moved out of her killer instinct (slightly) and after a few days to reflect on the presence of the other wolf on the Ranch, she could swallow the idea with living on Maeve on the Ranch. However, she was convinced that the other blonde was aware that Darian was not initially pleased and rather aggressive towards the idea. It would not work if the two of them lived on the same grounds, and Darian wanted to nip that problem in the bud.

When Maeve had come to find her, the werewolf was in the makeshift gym on the Ranch, wearing a pair of shorts and a sportsbra, hair pulled up in a bun, a bandage over her ribs. Although the retouch to her tattoo from this morning was likely healed for the most part, she didn't want to mess with infection. She could smell the wolf from a good distance away, and Darian pushed herself to pull up on the bar twice more, looking over at Maeve. "You look a lot better," she stated calmly, pulling herself up once more before dropping to her feet and briefly examining her hands for any callouses.

"How are you?"

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twistthemoon
2012-03-18 12:30 am UTC (link)

Maeve had never known how to fight back. From the time she was a toddler, she was told that she was fat --merely because of her larger bone structure. She wasn't a waif like the rest of her family, and her curves were ridiculed.. to the point that when she was in high school she actually took a knife to her breasts. Her Mother had walked in and screamed her foul head off, threatening to put her in an institution if she didn't come to her senses.

It wasn't that she wasn't making an effort. It wasn't that she lacked "authority." It wasn't that she didn't have a handle on herself. She was a bright, compassionate soul who had been verbally, physically, and emotionally abused her entire life. In her mind, the only way to find love and acceptance amongst family was to take whatever needed to be dished out. She had an inner spark --one that had been recognized by both Acedia and Deacon-- but she simply didn't know how to access it during confrontations. She'd never been taught how.

If she'd known that the other blonde would have killed her in that cave, she would have severely questioned her right to assume the "moral high ground" of the situation. For if Ira had ordered her to murder Darian in her sleep, it was one order that Maeve would not have followed. So which wolf, exactly, was the weaker? The one who would have killed a mortally wounded woman in order to kill her own fear? Or the one who accepted a beating and whatever else in order to keep those she considered family safe?

She glanced down at her clothing. She hadn't really given it much thought, honestly. It hadn't seemed important. "I would appreciate that, thank you," she said. "I don't.. have money right now, but if there's something I can do to help you in return, please let me know."

A flash of hurt crossed her face at Josef's name, and she managed a nod. She would have responded but the last question caused her to grasp her left arm with her right fingers. "I was beaten to the point of death because the boys couldn't find you," she said quietly. "They left me naked on Freki grounds, calling me Tennyson's whore." Her blue eyes iced over with a hardness that was not normally there. "Without him, I would have died. I knew that you were already here, and I didn't wish to make things more difficult, but there can be no rogues in Shadow Falls."

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darians
2012-03-18 01:22 am UTC (link)

Darian was in that capacity, very different from Maeve. Family had to prove themselves just like everyone else, and had to earn her love and respect. She based her notion of family on those who had cared for her, and those ties were rarely biological. She defended those who she was certain would put themselves at risk for her; Ira, Acedia, and the rest of the dominant wolves had not given her any of that. That was a sentiment that had been enforced after her mother had left herself and her brother Alex in their youth; she was not willing to put her life on the line for just anyone. Without thinking, she had held up a knife to Acedia's throat for Wren, and she had once beat up a girl in high school who had messed with her brother, but those situations were rare. More people were now included in the bubble of those who she would protect, now that she felt that she had Freki, but it was still a narrow group of people.

Any other time, it was herself that came as a priority. Whether she was morally correct in that approach, she didn't really care. Morals didn't win wars. Perhaps in a less conflictual environment, a more becoming side of Darian would be far more prevalent, that she could get along with most people, despite not trusting any of them. But when she was in a position where she could not leave a piece of land for fear of being slaughtered, everything became fair game at that point. No one survived when they extended an olive branch for no reason. And similarly, Darian was extending the olive branch because she felt that she had to.

The woman shook her head in response to Maeve's offer. "It's no big deal." And it wasn't, if it meant that Darian could have peace of mind.

Her eyes watched Maeve very carefully as she explained her story, before she averted her gaze and decided to walk over to the bench, adjusting the weight so that it held fifty pounds on top of the fifty-pound bar. However, instead of lying down and benching the weight, she sat down on the bench instead. "Ten's pretty great," she stated, offering a small nod both to recognize that and the statement that there was no such thing as a rogue in Shadow Falls. That had been her plan after attacking Acedia and Ten had shut that down quickly.

"I just don't understand why they didn't kill you. I mean, I'm glad that they didn't, I think it's a little silly to attack you when they just had to hunt me down a little harder," particularly these days, since she had been coming in and out of town, "but then spare you and throw you to Ten. Were they trying to force you to defect?" The story just didn't add up. She had just defected and the rage she had been met with showed that they were not fond of the idea; why would they push another wolf to defect also?

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twistthemoon
2012-03-18 01:41 am UTC (link)

They were not cut from the same cloth, that was for certain. The problem that Maeve had with people like Darian was that (if she had known her thoughts and such) she was extraordinarily judgmental. Was she perfect? Was she able to place herself in another's shoes and assume that she would act in another manner? The young wolf tried to never judge another person, because she felt it wasn't her right to do so. What did she know about him or her? About the situation?

The only two families Maeve had known --her biological one and her wolf pack-- had made her feel like an amoeba on a flea on a rat. Yes, she needed to stand up for herself.. and if Darian had been paying closer attention, she likely would have seen that she had actually been starting to. And then Acedia had cut her down for it.. confusing the crap out of the poor woman. She'd been respectful but firm with her brothers, and that apparently wasn't the Fenris way.

"It is, actually," she corrected gently. She knew that it was likely difficult for the other to offer that olive branch, and she appreciated it.

She remained standing, watching the other woman's body language and offering her own nod for the statement that Ten was pretty great. An eyebrow raised on her forehead, but the action made her wince in pain. Not such a great idea. "Why come into Freki grounds after you when they could simply take out their aggression on me?" She asked. "I didn't honestly think to ask them why they left me alive, or why they threw me here. I don't have a mind for military tactics." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Would you rather I be dead?"

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darians
2012-03-18 02:40 am UTC (link)

Judgemental was certainly one way of looking at Darian's mentality, perhaps. But she had no assumptions that she herself was perfect, and there was no benefit to assume a hypothetical situation. But she did know herself well enough to recognize personalities that she liked and disliked, and she had the foresight to avoid said people instead of asking for conflict. It was probably a good thing that Darian was not expressing her mentality or how she processed human behaviour to Maeve, because they would only clash further.

She simply nodded at the correction. There was no point in going back and forth about such a mundane detail.

"Because I haven't always been on the Ranch." Her bandage over her ribs, the new tattoo, was an attestation to that point. She had been wandering between Town and the Ranch frequently enough now. "I don't rather you would be dead, Maeve." The tone of her voice was gentle, in contrast to her firm tone that she had been using throughout the conversation. She would never wish death upon everyone, particularly not for such a silly reason like displaced anger. "I'm just saying that if they're so mad about me leaving, that the last thing they would do is make another wolf defect. Beating you up makes sense, because it's Fenris. Throwing you into Freki territory for Ten to save you does not."

Darian would not be subtle on the point that she considered Maeve's motives in being at Freki unclear, and she bit back an accusatory tone as she stated the words, carrying them indifferently instead. She did not want to jump ahead of herself. She had done that already and had only granted herself rounds of anxiety.

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twistthemoon
2012-03-18 03:37 am UTC (link)

Maeve didn't want to clash with her, and the very fact that she was basically being avoided would have only added to her own insecurities. Was she to be blamed for the wrongs that had been done against her? She had been nothing but kind to the woman, and yet somehow there was a wall of negativity displayed toward her. And Darian was, therefore, perpetuating the already very deep hole that had been dug for the submissive wolf.

She was being treated rudely for seemingly no reason.

The girl had never gotten a tattoo, and given the fact that bandages were normal amongst wolves.. she hadn't honestly paid it any attention. "You weren't initially," she stated. And that had been fact. Darian had hidden out amongst the Freki and hadn't emerged until recently, not even on the journals. "They didn't make me defect," she said firmly. "They left me to die. Yes, they likely knew that Tennyson would find me, and that he isn't the sort of man to leave a wounded wolf down.. but how could they have possibly known that I would have survived? That he would find me in time?"

She shook her head, emotion filling her voice. "What better way to fuck with your head, after all, than send me in here? What better way to ruin things for you.. than to hopefully place me in the pack and get you to freak out and either attempt to hurt me and destroy your new relationships?" She scratched at her left arm nervously but continued on bravely, "I was not sent here to harm you. I had both of my arms and legs broken. I have scars that will never heal."

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darians
2012-03-18 04:23 am UTC (link)

"I wasn't," The older wolf agreed, tucking a couple of loose strands behind her her ear and frowning. She had kept herself well hidden, even when she went on her excursions to town. Darian had established time limits for herself, routes to go on. She was very calculated when she left the Ranch; she could not afford to behave otherwise. "And they wouldn't have. It's just a risk that they don't care about taking. I just expected them to finish the job. Although that probably would have gotten in trouble with Ira." There was a pause, and the older werewolf let out a low hum, theorizing to herself.

"Probably flung you over here because they didn't want to deal with the mess themselves." And they would, fucking cowardly cuntrags that they were. That was an alternative story to her suspicions, and it also seemed to make more sense. Given that she had asked Deacon what was going on and he had given her no clue, and Josef was now asking her about Maeve's state of mind, it seemed like the total pack was oblivious about her new home in Fenris. Maeve's insistence and battered appearance only added a level of guilt and honed in on the realization that she had identified to Duncan the day previous, that she could be as unnecessarily ruthless and bitter to someone, just like Fenris.

Green eyes flew wide at Maeve's show of bravery, however, and she eased up from the bench to fold her arms and raise an eyebrow, taking a couple of steps closer to the wolf. She felt partially bad for being mean to a woman who could barely stand, but she was not going to roll over. "Don't you think it is a good way to fuck with my head, Maeve? Blame me for worrying about a girl that got along with Acedia, after I pressed a silver knife to her throat, to be here. To live with me. Feel flattered that I consider you a threat and don't take it so personally. I know you have those scars, I told Josef you would be safer here and I meant that."

That was surprisingly straightforward for her. She had opened her mouth to give a lecture about how none of the above applied to her, that she was fine with or without Maeve's presence. But the correct assumption of Darian's concerns and the emotion that packed Maeve's words as she spoke gave the older woman a sense of obligation to correct what her sense of anger was truly directed towards. And also to make the point that it was flattering to be thought of as capable of causing damage, in this scenario, although Maeve was perhaps a little too soft to see that.

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twistthemoon
2012-03-18 12:20 pm UTC (link)

Maeve looked away with the continued conversation about the beating and subsequent abandonment. She had expected it from Dakota and Ethan --they'd never shown her an ounce of kindness from the moment she'd entered the pack. It was Dakota's teeth that had ripped into her after she'd come down from the balcony of a party to ascertain the source of the soft, canine whining she'd heard. It was her compassion that had gotten her into this entire mess, her compassion that had earned Dakota's abuse. Ethan was just an insane asshole. But Deacon?

Deacon had taken her to his greenhouse. He had been sweet to her, he had filled her with hope about her position within Fenris.. he'd promised to help her accept the pain as she changed, and he'd told her he wouldn't have ever laid a hand against her unless she deserved it. That was why his blows had struck her so hard. She'd started to trust him. It would have been just as difficult if Josef had beaten her. Actually more so, given her established connection with him.

"It was likely ordered," she said simply. And all Fenris followed orders blindly, even herself. She swallowed hard at the lump growing in her throat. Followed orders blindly. Was that what she was doing? Ira didn't give a shit about her. If she succeeded, it was HIS success, not hers --she'd get none of the credit. If she failed, she'd be dead.. and no longer his problem.

She blinked with the defensive words from the woman, but instead of cowering before her as she almost always had in her life, Maeve found that something in Darian's disposition provided her with strength. "Got along with Acedia? Really?" Her beautiful face pulled into a show of annoyance. "That woman took ultimate pleasure in breaking me down, just like everyone else. I'm proud of you for standing up to her." And that was actually the truth. She took a step forward, too, leaving little distance between them. The air vibrated with energy. "I do take it personally, because I would have never harmed you, orders or not."

Also the truth.

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darians
2012-03-18 04:05 pm UTC (link)

Had Maeve explained her issue with having Deacon attacking her, Darian would be able to offer her nothing but consolation. Of all the wolves in the pack, Deacon was the only wolf that she tolerated, even had liked. He was calm and accepting of her impatient temper up until the point that she had left. It was why she had felt secure in asking him why Maeve was here; and his point that he had liked her during her time in Fenris during that exchange made her opinion on Deacon ambivalent. He was an enemy now, but Darian found it difficult to lump him in with the rest of Fenris.

Which was seemingly what she had done to Maeve.

The heat between the two of them was not something that Darian would discourage or back down from. It was a sensation on which she thrived on, the point in which a confrontation was about to break itself wide open. But as opposed to confrontation, she received the opposite reaction, and it left her baffled. Proud of her? Her mouth opened, ready with a response before she clamped it shut again, reaching up to loosen her hair from its bun and let her blonde hair fly wildly around her.

"You and Josef. And you called her Mother," Darian finally responded, unsure of what to gather from Maeve's words. Whether the taller, gorgeous and curvy blonde in front of her was telling the truth, it was difficult to assess. Particularly when Darian had initially held such a strong opinion towards Maeve's arrival. Perhaps she was not giving the woman due credit; she herself had backed down, albeit for only moments at a time, in times when she had been pushed around by Ethan. And perhaps Maeve had a similar relationship with Acedia. However, to call Acedia Mother, a word that was indicative of the closest of family relations, had caused Darian to meet a conclusion. Wolves like Dakota and Ethan called Acedia Mother, but she knew that they considered her to be a leader to them and confided in her.

Hands flew up in the air, a gesture of her own frustration, and she backed a couple of steps away from Maeve to ensure that her motions did not directly threaten or concern the other female wolf. Although her body language had given her away to be baffled, her tone of voice remained calm. "I thought that they were your family," because her words gave given her that sentiment, "And your family wants to kill me. You also seem like the type to do anything for your family."

That was not intended to be an insult. In fact, quite the reverse; she knew Maeve had a marked sense of loyalty and that was what bothered her so much about having her here. Darian would have killed Acedia for Wren, if that was what it had come to. Perhaps she was doing herself a disservice by assuming that such a kindhearted woman would go the extra mile to defend her family-- Deacon had called her soft-- but Maeve's loyalty made it difficult to dismiss that notion so quickly.

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twistthemoon
2012-03-18 04:23 pm UTC (link)

It was hard for the woman to think upon Deacon, and especially to think upon Josef. She had agreed to this mission believing that she could handle all that it entailed, believing that it would aid her in finding her place amongst the pack --but that beating had done something to her. Their eyes had been hollow and filled with a disgusting amount of pleasure as they'd beaten her. As they'd done --no doubt-- what Ira had told them to do. Did she want to be a part of that, no matter if she considered them family or not?

With Josef it was different. She loved that boy. She knew he was unstable, but watching the way he'd responded to her voice.. the way it had calmed him.. was something she could not shake from her heart. She had helped him --and now she'd done exactly what she'd promised him she would never do. She had seemingly left him. She was trying to be strong, especially for him, but Tennyson's kind, open generosity had her completely off-guard.

"Josef is insane," she said quietly. "I liked helping him, calming him. We grew close because of that." Not because she'd agreed with his violent tendencies. Indeed she'd been somewhat harsh on him about those at times. "I called her Mother because I thought that was what I was supposed to do out of respect. No one told me differently." She was still a relatively new wolf, after all.

Her head tilted at the display of puzzlement. "What is a family?" She finally asked. "Because the only family I've ever known has abused me for their own pleasure, both the Fenris, and my own biological family." She picked at the dirt underneath a thumbnail before continuing. "I don't want to kill you. And they are no longer my family. I don't know that they ever were."

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darians
2012-03-19 03:45 am UTC (link)

Although uncertain, Darian accepted the explanation reluctantly and nodded. "Okay." Josef was insane, clearly more mentally unstable than both Ethan and Daks combined. She had no reason to disbelieve Maeve's explanation other than a stubbornness and an active choice not to, and although she had a lot of fight within her, hating someone that lived with her would expend too much energy. Particularly a woman like Maeve, who happened to be extremely soft-hearted and her aggression fell into one that controlled by emotions.

The older woman's eyes flew wide at the question. Maeve seemed to have an art in flabbergasting the other blonde, because Darian was not expecting any of this conduct from the newest pack member. Darian had pegged her as naive, foolish, a woman who understood the nature of abuse that she was enduring and yet chose to agree to it and undervalue herself. However, that was clearly not the case. Such a question was evident to a woman like Darian, a person who prided herself on the company she kept and her family, particularly her biological one. Her brother had been her hero despite all the trouble he had caused for her, and her father had endlessly supported her. Maeve had none of that, because the question of 'what is family' was a concept that was so rudimentary to Darian's understanding of her livelihood that she could not fathom a world in which such a concept was unclear.

Eyebrows furrowed, it took her a moment to recognize that she had been asked a question. "Family are those who take care of you. Those who love you and support you no matter what you do. You can fight with family..." Darian trailed off, before biting down on her lower lip and looking at Maeve, "But they assure you afterwards that you still mean very much to them. And in turn, they are people that you would do anything for because you love them." She swallowed in a deep breath, before exhaling it again. "And by that definition, in my honest opinion, Fenris was not your family. Family doesn't beat one another until the point of near-death...mainly because your family would be so impacted emotionally by your death that they would never want that to happen." Her voice, although it carried strength and was clear, was quiet. The drew her very close to her thoughts after she had defected from Fenris, what her father and brother, even Wren, would go through to know that Darian had died through brutality.

A frown had formed on her face, and her lack of clothing reminded her that she needed to get dressed. "...come with me, I'll get you some clothes. I'm cold also." With a sigh, she gestured for the younger wolf to step out of the room, following close behind her. After a few moments, Darian found herself asking a question that was intriguing her. "Your family, your biological one. What are they like?" Maeve had mentioned that she was a young wolf, and that likely meant that the majority of her life had been spent around those who had given birth to her.

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twistthemoon
2012-03-19 01:10 pm UTC (link)

"I think he could have been.. good, but something happened in his life that made him snap," she said. It wasn't an excuse, certainly not, but with that kind of insanity, Maeve was under the impression that you had to understand its roots --and not just the consequential actions that occurred. There was obvious concern for him on her face. She cared for him, and just because she'd "defected" didn't mean she could just.. erase that care.

She blinked with the woman's obvious surprise at her question, clearly not understanding just how ludicrous the query was. It was only as she listened to Darian describe family that she was slowly able to put the pieces together. This she-wolf had the same definition as Tennyson had. One of unconditional love and support, and yet Maeve had never felt that. Maeve had never had that.

And it was very hard to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't "normal."

She had been living her life under the assumption that that was simply what people did. That they might have been nice on the surface, but underneath.. it was normal for them to verbally, physically, and emotionally abuse behind closed doors. It was unfortunately what she was waiting for with the Freki. Her features pulled with the strain of that realization, wondering what it would have been like to grow up with the family that Darian described. Emotion welled in her eyes. What a fool she'd been.

She blinked away the tears and stood with the request, stepping out of the room when guided to do so. "I was the middle of five siblings," she started. "They're all extremely slender, and I stick out. They made sure to tell me just how much I stuck out my entire life. My parents kept us all on a tight leash. I wasn't allowed to date until I was a senior in high school, but at that point I didn't even want to." Because her self-confidence had been so low. She believed in herself, but she lacked assertion. And she hated her body.

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darians
2012-03-19 02:43 pm UTC (link)

"I think so. He was very upset and wanted to see me to ask about you. He's not heartless like the other two." The other two referred to Ethan and Daks, who seemed to take a marked pleasure in withdrawing pain from others. Josef was not necessarily the same. He just appeared to be off his rocker, and his violence was a product of that, not the root cause. Still, Darian did not know him, and she could only accept the other woman's explanation of the Fenris' behaviour.

Darian caught the glossiness that washed over the other wolf's bright, round eyes, and the frown deepened on her face as she reached forward to rub the other woman's shoulder. She had nothing to say; she was not certain what about her description had prompted Maeve to be even more upset, but she was certain that at least one aspect of what she had mentioned was missing in the woman's life. Feeling rather strange in this sudden contrast between feeling animosity and anger towards the other woman to a marked sense of pity and compassion also baffled her. She would dismiss it, of course.

Guiding the way to her own room, the older of the two glanced over her shoulder at the woman's explanation with a frown. "Maeve..." she trailed off, not sure quite how to say it other than in her unorthodox manner, "You're beautiful. I would kill for curves like those. I wanted implants for the longest time, probably up until I became a wolf, and then didn't want to risk having mounds of jelly pop out of my skin in the middle of a Change." This prompted a small smile from the older woman, as she leaned forward to open the door to her room. Her belongings were neatly folded away, aside from the disheveled blanket and laptop left on the bed, that had been pushed aside because of her previous night with Theo.

"Dating teaches you quite a bit about yourself. It...at least, for me, it made me a lot more comfortable in your own skin. It also forces you to evaluate self-worth and how important you are to yourself, because your life is directly impacted by the behavior of someone else." Darian, of course, was speaking from experience. Her only serious relationship had been with one of her brother's friends, a relationship that lasted from the beginning of high school until the middle of university, in which alternate life plans had separated them- he moved away. But Darian, aside from the self-worth that had been infused into her by her brother, she had come leaps and bounds in her own insecurities through her relationship.

Reaching to open a drawer, the shorter blonde withdrew a bra (which was slightly too big for her, thanks to Wren's estimations), along with a couple of pairs of pants and shirts. Moving across the room to open a drawer in the nightstand next to her bed, she pulled out toiletries that Maeve might need- an extra brush, tampons, condoms, a stick of eyeliner and lipgloss- and set them on top of the pile of clothing.

"That should do you, for now. If you need anything, let me know. I'm probably not going to be leaving the Ranch anytime soon--" she had already done so twice this weekend and didn't want to make it a habit, because that information was bound to come back to Fenris, "But I can ask someone to get things for me if you're too embarrassed to ask."

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	twistthemoon 2012-03-19 03:12 pm UTC (link)
	[We can fade them there! Awesome first scene. <3] (Reply to this) (Parent)

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