Soap Opera Town (soaptown) wrote in insane_games, @ 2010-07-03 19:13:00 |
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#1 - THE FACTS OF LIFE. The most important rule is that no one actually dies. Most especially if there is no body found - but even then... The dead person will choose to resurface at a most inopportune time - like when his 'widow' has finally stopped crying and is about to marry someone else. #2 - YOU HAVE A TWIN. If you are evil, your twin is the epitome of decent. If you are good, your twin is the epitome of evil. This twin, especially in the latter scenario, will attempt at some point in your life to take over for you. You will be held prisoner somewhere unable to communicate to the people you love that it is not you doing all those uncharacteristic things. This evil twin will also have sex with your significant other. You must never forgive your significant other for this transgression as that person should have known it wasn't you. #3 - YOUR FORMER SPOUSE. The ex-husband/wife that you failed to mention will show up at your wedding to the new true love. If this former spouse is a wife, she is there to tell you about the child you never knew you had. #4 - EDUCATION. You do not have to be a college graduate (or even High School really) to become CEO of a major company (or a doctor or lawyer). The best way to succeed in business in a Soap Opera Town is to have your father (or much older spouse) own the business or to have some really good dirt on the owner so that he/she will be forced to give you a great job or be ruined for life. #5 - AGING. If you send your child to camp or a boarding school, the same child will return twice as old as when he/she left even if only a year or a few months have passed. Be aware that this child will be ready to cause problems in your life. This child resents you - A LOT - for neglecting him or her for all these years. (Even though you could swear this child only left a few months ago). #6 - CHILDREN. If a young, beautiful woman comes to town and either tries to or actually succeeds in stealing your husband... REJOICE - for this is the long lost daughter you never knew you had. Or maybe you did know, you have just conveniently failed to mention it to anyone, or maybe you had amnesia or a split personality and don't actually remember giving birth to said child. This should also alert you that the father of said child will not be far behind. #7 - APPROACHING DEATH. If, all of the sudden, you feel compelled to tell everyone how much you love and respect them for no apparent reason. If you forgive all those who have wronged you even if you have been mortal enemies for years and you have done all you can to ruin their lives and vice versa, you should be aware that you are about to die. This also applies if you have ticked every person in town off and they have all threatened to kill you in some way or another. If you find yourself very upset about situation 7 - don't despair - see situation 1. welcome to soaptown. |