Rennervate In Character

Michal's 36th (or 26th if you're one of her unfortunate boyfriends) birthday was yesterday, so in the spirit of tradition we get shit faced with her friends. Everything's fine until she starts rehashing to friends the crappy things we did to each other as kids, most of which we find funny now that we're older and know better. But there was this one impressively elaborate prank I set up when we were maybe twelve and nine that she never figured out, so I finally decided to tell her about the time I convinced her there was an erkling in our attic.

I know it freaked her out at the time, but I didn't realize that almost thirty years later she's still holding on to the idea that a German-speaking erkling still lives in our parents' house. She won't talk to me now though, so that's been a fun development.

Having a week off was amazing. I admit I'm not really wanting to go back to work. Belle loved it. We spent the day at the beach, visiting museums, art galleries, and various other places. We also spent a lot of time with the family too which she loved.

Billy, Stubby

Okay. You two are coming over so I can feed you.

Whoops, guess who bought a bass instead of doing anything responsible with their money.

I think it's a shame no wizarding schools offer post-graduate study opportunities. I miss the days when I could be free from at least one of my sisters for the vast majority of the year. Now there's nowhere for them to go and nothing for them to do but be whinging nags at me all day.

Honestly. Some army or some peace corps or anything like the muggles have. Just ship them off to Nepal or the Maldives or something. You'd think someone would have thought of this already.

My baby is turning eight next month!! Why is the time passing so quickly? Only three more years left until we get that letter in the mail.

How do you cope when your baby is gone for so long? I suppose I'll just have to spoil him on his birthdays until then!

To those it may concern, I would like to inform you all of the fact that for this forth-coming school term, I will in fact not be residing in my usual Hogwarts castle room. I shall presently be relocating to lodgings outside of the castle itself, though still easily within reach. My office hours will be available upon request, to accommodate surprise "drop-in" visitors. Misguided owls shall be forwarded to my new home address.

This of course will not change my role as professor and Head of Gryffindor House, and should not cause any ensuing inconvenience.

Why the fuck does Barbara have a drum set? She isn't too fucking bad at it but to be fair, it is the drums. Would anyone like to join my sheeps band? Pretty sure Ally has something to do with it. The inside round bits have a few Irn Bru cans in it.

[Foot]

I got a lead on some shit but it requires me to go to fucking other side of the damn world to get it. Also there are some files you might want to look over I got out of the file fucking room. More recent case that I don't think is getting the attention it deserves and the fact that Blank ain't here means you're my new partner. Or fuck whatever. Like anyone else wants to put up with my goddamn ass. Anyway. Something about a murder or some shit, like they always are. Two of us can figure this out figure we know the area pretty well.

[ALL DMLE PERSONNEL, - PROUDFOOT AND SAVAGE]

SO as some of you may know, Cash and Kirsty got ♥MARRIED♥!!

I've already bought a card for them that I'll be sending around for everyone to sign!

I thought it might be nice for us all to go in for a GIFT for them though. They're not registered anywhere, so we should brainstorm on what a good gift might be!!

Anyone hiring? I'm bored shitle Has it been long enough to stick my he Or know of anyone who is?

[Warded to Marie]

I have something I want to ask you.

I'm having one of those moments where I can't remember the last time I went out because I've been so wrapped up in my research.

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I feel like today is gonna be a good day.

[Ed-ness]
Check your mailbox. No, not that mailbox. The other one.

That's right. Water balloons.

Prepare to battle at dusk, Amigo!

[Andromeda]
I've got a secret. If you say the magic word, I'll let you in on it, love.

who: Kirsty Savage and Betty Braithwaite.
what: A sort of kind of interview
where: Fortescue's
when: Thursday August 18th
warnings: Kirsty is almost professional here, maybe a few bad words.

( That was likely to change if the conversation took very long, but even if the place had been packed, Auror Savage, with her height and her hair, and being a grown woman sitting by herself with a milkshake, stood out rather. )

who: Kirsty Savage, Elphias Doge, and NPC Sean Proudfoot, a terrible, terrible maintenance tech.
what: The lifts at the Ministry are awful because you guys let a Proudfoot work on them.
where: Somewhere between floors at the Ministry, in a very small box.
when: Wednesday, August 24.
warnings: look, emma and alex are involved and we swear a lot ok.

( Finally she registered that someone else was in here. “Sup, Doge?” How wouldn't she know the man. Who didn't know him. )

who: Kirsty Savage & Pandora Lovegood
what: Hello yes this is just a casual lunch meeting.
where: Enchanted Tea Leaf, an awesome coffee shop y’all should visit.
when: Monday, August 15
warnings: #kirstymouth

( So Kirsty wanted to be on time, she really really did. Honest. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't find a parking spot and eventually just said fuck it and rode Eloise onto the sidewalk much to the hatred of about fifteen school children on a field trip. )

Guess who confiscated something green, flammable, and so potent it could kill a man - but in the best fucking way possible?

Almost feel bad for the kid I took it from. But then I remember the runaway train my life's currently on, and suddenly, I fucking don't care.

LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU or somethin

Also I gave your pictures to everyone in Scotland you're never buying that shit again neither of you.

I couldn't give a shit less about Quidditch

I've never found myself longing for the weekend like this before. It's a rather peculiar feeling.

I JUST FOUND A TRAIL OF SWEETS, KIRSTY IF IT LEADS TO A BOX AND I GET TRAPPED FOREVER THEN JUST REMEMBER ME AS I WAS NOT AS THE ME TRAPPED IN A BOX

Turns out I'm a terrible pet parent. I thought Octavia was getting a bit pudgy, so I'd asked the neighbors not to feed her if she got up to their doors. Apparently I should've been less worried about neighborhood food bowls and more about neighborhood tomcats. If anyone's been thinking of adopting a Kneazle, there's seven bleary-eyed kittens who'll be needing homes very shortly.

[DMLE]
Whoever isn't rinsing out their dishes and is just leaving them in the sink, please remember that it is not Bertha's job to wash your dishes for you. We're all grown-ups here and we clean up after ourselves. Thank you.

[MARINETTE]
Dunno if you read this bit, but there are seven kittens in my house and I suggest you and Nico come over at once. I'll feed you. I might even let you bottle-feed one of them.

Goodness. What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been. Ginny's officially one year old, Percy's officially six, and Bill's down to his last week before Hogwarts. I suppose this is my way of apologizing for not being more sociable lately, but there's been quite a bit to do, with the lot of them all needing things at once--even the ones who shouldn't need anything are quite a bit put out about all the attention being elsewhere.

Not that I'm complaining. It'll all feel quite a bit smaller in a week, and I'm afraid I'm far from ready for it.

[ORDER FRIENDS AND BILIUS]*
We're having a wee gathering in the garden on Saturday--officially it's to send Bill off, but Percy at least will be wanting reminders that you knew it was his birthday yesterday, so while gifts are far from expected, you might listen to him go on a bit about whatever he's reading this week.
Ginny will be content to babble incoherently at you, so I don't think she's expecting much in the way of birthday greetings.


[[*P. much the entire order because Molly loves all of you but ask if you have questions.]]