RP: Depressed Sev is depressed Characters: Severus and OPEN Scully Time/Date: August 30, morning Location: Room 215 Warnings/Rating: Probably none Summary: Sev is holed up in his room, following this Status: Player drop
Of course she hadn't known. She never would have spoken to him civilly, much less smiled, if she had. Even Lily wasn't that kind. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Severus had known that all along. As much as he liked to pretend otherwise, reality always had a nasty habit of intruding. It had all been an illusion. A beautiful one, no doubt, but an illusion nonetheless. And like all illusions, this one had to come to an end, as well.
After returning from the garden, he'd taken a gander at the network, written a couple of replies, and then ... clicked on that conversation. He'd only heard three words before he turned it off, again. He didn't need to hear any more than that. He'd relived it every day for seventeen years, after all. Nothing he might say now would make the slightest bit of difference. He could only imagine the look on Lily's face as he tried to explain (because he would never see it, now -- that much was certain).
He hadn't thought that prophecy had any more of a chance of being fulfilled than any of the hundreds of others in the Hall of Prophesy. He could never have convinced the Dark Lord to spare the boy, and he wasn't stupid enough to ask. Lily's son was the intended target, and he knew now that he would have been killed on the spot for even daring to suggest the Dark Lord alter the plan. If not by the Dark Lord himself, then by one of his fellow Death Eaters, surely. Nor could he have garnered mercy for her husband. He couldn't very well have downplayed the request by saying that he desired Potter, now could he?
In spite of what Lily had tried to tell him in school, he hadn't really known what the Death Eaters were like in the beginning. They hadn't trusted him with that information before then, because he was a half-blood. He'd had to prove his dedication to their cause, first, before he could be admitted to the Inner Circle. The prophesy had propelled him there, and oh the irony! As soon as he'd been learned of the Dark Lord's plans, the first thing he'd done was run to Dumbledore. So they'd been exactly right -- they couldn't trust him at all.
He probably ought to have told her straightaway, but wouldn't that have made for a lovely icebreaker? 'Hello. You look well. I haven't seen you in a while, and by the way, I got you killed. I hope you don't mind?' He knew, again, that this had been aimed at Lily. He never should have asked Potter to keep the information secret. Those in charge had undoubtedly been privy to that conversation, filters or no, and now Lily would never speak to him again. Not that she should, even if she wanted to learn to make Wolfsbane.