InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Pluviophile: Lover of rain."

River Tam (lilalbatross) wrote in indarkness_logs,
@ 2010-08-24 22:54:00

Entry tags:

!complete, 2032 08, chase collins, river tam

RP: Hearing Voices
Characters: River, Chase
Time/Date: August 24th, after this hits the net
Location: Second floor. She's pacing up and down it.
Warnings/Rating: There's potential for swearing and limb flailing that could result in injury - someone is not handling the situation very well.
Summary: River doesn't react well to her life being broadcast for 'the world' to hear. Chase thinks it's funny and torments her for it. She kicks him, potentially breaking his jaw. He departs, leaving her miserable.
Status: Complete

It had been from a time when she had been so doped up on so many medications that she had not been able to see clearly, before Simon had even figured out what the purpose of the experimentation she'd had to endure at the Academy was. Back when she was lucky to have brief moments during the day of lucidity, when every thought, every action, was a reaction to the stimulus around her.

It gave her sharp contrast as to the leaps and bounds she had made since then, given it had been little more than a year, but at the same time it sent her back to that dark place where she'd been at that time, and a thick awareness that they knew.

And at this point it didn't even matter who they were or was. It was there, it was publicized and it was for everyone to listen to in the main community. And if they had that, if they had the brief moment where she'd taken on the persona of another individual whom she didn't know, then they had plenty more to share and confuse everyone with.

And what if people were frightened? What if people understood the true gravity of the situation, how she had been so completely void of anything and had been forced to fill the space with what was around her? What if they thought she would do it again, or was doing it now, or didn't like the fact that she was able to do it.

"Can't help it," she muttered as she paced the floor. She truly did not know where to go. Simon would offer her soothing tones and words and try to calm her down from this, but he would do it wrong because he would not understand the true gravity of the situation. Kyle would not understand why the words upset her because she had done what she thought was a very good job of hiding the dark void that existed inside of her from him.

They'd hollowed her out at the Academy. Taken away everything that was human and replaced it with... with empty, with unfeeling, with machine-like proclivity. Suitable for an assassin, and perhaps that was all she would ever be good for. Even now, to pretend like she was unaware of situations that were so apparent and obvious before her - to pretend like she was unaware that Jaime would melt the cold heart that was the Captain, or that the ever growing numbers of pale-faced ones lusted after the blood of the humans - was to deny a part of herself. And she shouldn't have to, but there was a strong desperation in her to just be normal and to associate with the people around her on their level as opposed to constantly be observing from a higher plateau.

She was not human. She just looked it. And now everyone knew the lie she had been living.

She stopped pacing the length of the hallway, freezing within distance of a location she suspected to be housing a microphone, and murmured, "Exists in a world that is not meant for her already, yet they continue to alienate those who are already distant from the pack. What do they hope to achieve? A break? A regression? Turn the rock upon which the house stood to sand, and the house fell down. Built from ashes once already, hardly sturdy enough to stand on it's own."

She shook her head briefly. "Thought wrong. Am not the weak to be preyed on. Will not allow the injustice to carry. Will melt into the shadows, leaping out when least expected with grabby hands intended to smother. Game over. Return to start. And you have no extra lives to save you."

She wondered, as she resumed her pacing, how much of that she actually believed, and how much of that was put on in an attempt to keep what little grasp she had on the corners of her mind from slipping away.

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from_the_flames
2010-08-25 11:06 pm UTC (link)

Chase was on his way downstairs, though when he reached the landing on the second floor he heard a voice. He paused and tilted his head to listen. Someone seemed agitated, which meant he should go say hi, right? Right. Running a hand over his mouth to wipe away his grin, Chase stepped into the hallway.

His arms were resting comfortably at his sides, casually, the picture of innocence as he glanced to the pacing girl. "Hey," he called out to catch her attention. "How's it going?"

A smile that was meant to be sympathetic curved his lips, though there was more malice and amusement than sympathy in his eyes. She looked like someone fun to play with ... and he hadn't had nearly enough of a chance to play here.

Sliding his hands into his pockets, he shifted to lean against a wall. Mr. Non-Threatening, that was him.

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lilalbatross
2010-08-26 02:52 am UTC (link)

She froze first, and then spun around to face the voice that was calling out to her. Her eyes were a... bit on the wild side at the moment, she hadn't really gotten her thoughts under control, but they settled on Chase for a moment. She was aware there had been a question. She wasn't certain how to answer, or really even if she should answer. He'd recognize her voice. He'd know.

"World's colliding," she said by way of response. "Reavers were not enough, had to bring con men into it as well. Non-existent, won't be..." she shook her head, laughing suddenly at how she was trying to communicate something that she didn't think Chase would understand. "Wrong, it's all wrong. Entire moments of private speech made free for the people. They should be so pleased."

Her eyes darted nervously around the hallway. "They listen even now, the voices in the walls. Always listening. Always... recording," and then her eyes settled on Chase again. "Could be next," she told him.

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from_the_flames
2010-08-26 04:26 am UTC (link)

Chase grinned slightly. She was a piece of work, wasn't she? "Well yeah," he said. "They told us they were observing from the start. It was all in the note. Cameras and recorders. Probably things to measure our pulses and breathing. Nothing's private," he continued as he watched her.

"So that was you on the network? What's with the accent? Sounded like his accent," Chase continued. He flexed his fingers slightly, a little pleased that she seemed so easily agitated. Granted, it meant he didn't have to work for it ... but it also meant he might have a bigger reaction.

"Friend of yours?" He grinned and licked his lips slightly as he watched her.

His lips pulled slightly into one of his little pouts at her comment. "I don't mind. I don't have any secrets." It wasn't even technically a lie. Caleb, at least, knew about Chase's power, how he'd gotten his father's power. He didn't really care if things about him were announced over the network, either.

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lilalbatross
2010-08-26 09:07 am UTC (link)

He didn't get it. She wasn't surprised, but she was annoyed and frustrated because if she could explain it better, if she could be more normal, even if only for a moment, then he could understand. Even taking his apparent stubbornness into account, it was just her inability to communicate with people in general that would boost the intolerance and drive her further into the outskirts of the world. She'd be doomed, to live alone. Accepted only by those who'd been forced to already by circumstance, or those too foolish to understand that the so-called 'girl' they were accepting was merely an empty shell of what had once been.

Simon would often talk about saving River. The idea was laughable. Could save a body, but the soul had been hollowed out long ago.

"From the old homestead," she sneered, adopting the Dyton accent for a moment, though her tone was mocking, as though it should be clear that the man was no friend of hers, or anyone's for that matter. "Don't matter you got no secrets, I got plen'y t'share."

She dropped the accent after that, easing dangerously closer to Chase as she glared at him. "Will come a time when the attitude will fade and leave room for the child within to assert himself again. The child has plenty of secrets to hide about his own fears, and dreams. Perhaps nothing to broadcast now, but all trees fall in the end. Question becomes whether they are absorbed by the ground, returned to nature, or chopped and used for firewood."

She looked at him coldly. "In the end, will you burn?"

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from_the_flames
2010-08-26 06:16 pm UTC (link)

"Kind of think I burned once," Chase replied to her question. Some of the laid back attitude was gone, the friendly facade was dropping as she stepped too close to him. His eyes hardened slightly, his jaw clenching. He wasn't afraid of anything.

He had power. He had his power, and his father's power, and he wasn't afraid of anyone or anything here. He might have had fears as a child, but he'd gotten over them. He could defeat them now.

Rolling his shoulders to shake it off, he focused himself on the girl again. The smile found his lips once more, and he watched her. "I have a feeling you don't like me very much," he said before he reached out a hand. "Chase Collins," he introduced himself. "And who are you?" He prompted as he watched her.

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lilalbatross
2010-08-27 03:28 am UTC (link)

"Probably deserved it," River muttered. It was a bit uncalled for, maybe, but she didn't like Chase, and she didn't like the thoughts that were running through his head at the moment. He made her skin crawl with a dislikable energy, and she didn't have the will to focus on being polite to someone who didn't deserve it right now.

She did like that she'd succeeded, even if only for a moment, in breaking him out of whatever game he was playing, even if it was only because he was annoyed at her. She'd still consider it a win for right now.

"Astute," she said with a raise of her eye. "Takes the suble blues and places them together to form a coherent picture." She eyed his hand as he extended it, choosing not to shake it and instead trying to ease the tension in her skin that was continuing to make it crawl by shaking herself out a little bit. "River," she responding to the question, though she didn't feel she needed to. "I can kill you with my brain," she added.

Honestly? She didn't think she could. But she thought that she could inflict considerable pain on Chase using only her mind, maybe, and she knew that physically she could do some damage before he came in with his magic. But she was frustrated, and off her game, and felt like saying something and that was the first thing that popped into her head.

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from_the_flames
2010-08-27 04:26 am UTC (link)

Chase laughed softly. "Guess it depends on whose camp you were standing in, as far as whether or not it was deserved." Caleb thought so, he was sure. But Chase didn't think anything he'd done was so bad. He was just after one thing. One ... little thing that would cost Caleb his life. And the other Sons, if he'd been able to get to him.

But Caleb had gotten lucky, and done something to him, pushed him through a burning barn. Chase was fairly certain he'd landed in Limbo - or something like it - before he'd been pulled here. Which was irrelevant to the topic at hand and the thoughts of it were only pissing him off. So he returned his focus to River.

"Can you?" Chase let his eyes flare black as he pulled his power up. "I can kill you with my power," he countered. And just for kicks, and because he really was an asshole, he winked one eye to send a darkling in the form of a reaver to her. The apparition appeared beside the girl, pointed teeth bared as it lunged toward her.

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lilalbatross
2010-08-27 07:52 am UTC (link)

She saw it coming before it happened, but that didn't change the effects of it.

The reaction was a combination of instinct and fear. There was a part of her that recognized that it was just an illusion, it wasn't real, and that Chase was trying to get a reaction out of her, but there was another part of her - which unfortunately seemed to win in these sorts of situations - that couldn't help but be frightened when the distorted image of the reaver appeared next to him.

So instinct took over. She lashed out with her feet, so quickly that it may have been hard to follow, throwing a series of punches until the image dispelled. Then she spun in a half circle, shifting her weight and aiming a hard kick to Chase's jaw.

From there... the instinct dissolved, and simply left her with the fear and terror and also their sudden absence in the absence of the darkling. She curled inward on herself in her standing position, wrapping her arms around her middle and trying desperately not to cry. At least not audibly.

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from_the_flames
2010-08-27 03:18 pm UTC (link)

Well, he was going to have to learn to stop underestimating people. It had been funny, seeing her panic and freak out - until her heel crunched into his jaw and gave him some wicked whiplash. He also got the distinct impression he was going to be lucky if nothing was broken.

Staggering into the wall, Chase laughed. "Didn't like that so much, huh?" he said as he lifted a hand to rub at his jaw. He could feel the swelling already, and he was definitely going to have to see a doctor. Maybe he'd track down the jerk one, because he was pretty sure the nice one was the crazy chick's brother.

"Maybe you'll think about that, the next time you try to threaten someone with your mind," he said - as if someone he had won this little encounter.

But now, he needed some ice for his jaw, so he turned away to head down to the kitchen. Maybe after that, he'd get a doctor to confirm he wasn't broken.

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lilalbatross
2010-08-28 06:09 am UTC (link)

She wanted to reply, wanted to shoot something viscious at him about thinking that he'd won this altercation and proving that he hadn't. Wanted to make him feel as badly as she felt. But she didn't feel this badly because of him - or at least, most of it was not his fault - and she didn't have the heart to engage in further combat if he was leaving.

So instead she curled up further, slipping into the nearest corner of the hallway and bringing her knees up to her chest, making herself as tight a ball as she could manage, and tucking her head and closing her eyes. Maybe she could escape the world for a bit, go into hiding without overdoing in in a way that might make people upset.

She did give brief consideration to maybe sending a message to Simon, indicating that Chase's jaw would require a Doctor's attention, but not to worry - she was fine. But she suspected Simon was already worried about the breach of their own personal security - he had been on the recording as well - and she didn't need to make the situation worse. There was no need to be vindictive. Particularly, when she'd just gotten so comfortable all curled up like this.

She'd see how she felt later. Maybe she'd send it then.

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