Lily Evans (emerald_eyes) wrote in indarkness_logs, @ 2010-08-08 00:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, 2032 08, lily evans, spike spiegel |
RP: Emerging
Characters: Lily, Spike
Time/Date: Morning, August 8
Location: Kitchen
Warnings/Rating: emo!Lily
Summary: Lily attempts to recall how to be social
Status: Complete
Jaime and Tyler had accosted her the night before, for all the good it had done. No matter what they said, Lily closed her eyes and saw James' blank, dead eyes staring up at her, his tilted glasses, his messy black hair. She saw his face when she tried to sleep, she saw his face beside her own in the mirrors, in the windows. Sometimes, she pulled his wand out of the drawer and simply held it, as if by holding it, by having it, she could will him here, alive and well.
It never happened, and she knew it wasn't going to, but she wanted it all the same.
It was going on a week, she realized. Almost a week since it had happened, and that was a ridiculous amount of time to have been drifting through life here in a haze. She should do something, try to take her mind off of it rather than dwell on it.
All she really wanted to do though, was lay in bed and pretend he was there with her.
The only small consolation she had was that it hadn't actually happened yet, in her time. That when she went back, there was perhaps a chance she could stop it from happening, somehow. Somehow.
Lily dressed in her robes, not bothering to do anything with her hair. She made sure she had her wand, and she started down the stairs in bare feet. She made her way into the kitchen and began to go through the motions of breakfast. Jaime had been bringing in things from the store, but wasn't much for cooking, and while Tyler could, he hadn't. Lily found the fridge well stocked, and she started to cook. Eggs and bacon and toast and sausages, the scents wafting toward the stairs to perhaps wake the others.
Her eyes were mostly blank, and prior to the video, she would often sing or dance a little, or at least hum while cooking. Today she was silent, her motions lacking their usual grace. Numb and mechanical, consumed with grief and her darker thoughts, Lily continued to cook.