InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "gurrrrrrrl, please"

a good space boy from a good space family (pethdorn) wrote in incompletedata,
@ 2017-12-29 22:48:00

Entry tags:

star wars: canon: poe dameron

[ ARCHEX | CARDINAL ]

All right. So - who are you, and what's going on?

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	archex 2017-12-30 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	They have a point, I promise, and I only have one more. Do you know what your parents' names where? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pethdorn 2017-12-30 10:35 pm UTC (link)
	I do. I know their names are Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. I know that because no one stole me away from them before I could walk to force me to fight a war. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

archex
2017-12-31 12:30 am UTC (link)

The Stormtrooper Cadet Program did not steal children, Poe. But I'm sure that's something you were told, and never questions. Because you were raised your whole life to fight a war.

Things can be right and things can be wrong, but being the product of an Empire or an Order doesn't inherently make something wrong, just as a place in the New Republic or the Galactic Senate before it did always make something right.

I'm asking you questions because I want to understand who you are, to better understand what you have to say.

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pethdorn
2017-12-31 02:58 am UTC (link)

Look. If you're really interested in understanding who I am - if you're really interested in understanding what I have to say - we can have that conversation. You're not exactly dripping with good faith, here, pal. But I'll do that. I will explain that to you. Probably not today. Because today I want to shove your head under a fucking steam tray. But we can make a date.

But unless you're as moronic and power-blind as General Sucks His Own Cock, you're not really confused about why I might make some fucking assumptions about you. About the actions of a group who - as you say - saw unfortunate kids on neglected planets and decided to force them to be soldiers. Maybe you didn't grab them out of people's arms. I mean - I bet you did, actually. I bet you did that all the time. But let's say you didn't. You took these kids, who had nothing, and you gave them no choice but to fight your war. That's not best for them. That's best for you.

So if you want to pretend to be taking me seriously and trying to have some reasonable exchange of ideas, don't treat me like a kriffing idiot. If what you cared about was the disenfranchised and impoverished, you could have found them homes somewhere that weren't your kiddy bootcamps. You could have organized demonstrations. You could have gone to the senators of any of those planets and made your grievances. You could have gone straight to Hosnian Prime and made your case. No one was stopping you from doing literally anything other than shoving helmets on kids without asking them what the fuck they wanted, and then blowing up an entire star system.

But you're right, I should really be more careful about not questioning what I hear about the First Order. I guess I might hurt someone's feelings.

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archex
2017-12-31 04:17 am UTC (link)

How much has the Resistance done for these children, exactly? You took in Finn, did you find him a home somewhere or did you put another blaster in his hands?

But, Poe, where do you think I came from? Do you think I know my parents' names? Do you think I was raised in the warmth and prosperity of the New Republic? Do you think I -- the orphan kid of some Jakku scavengers -- who never knew what it was like to not be hungry until I was invited into the First Order training program would ever be listened to by you, or by anyone else. The Republic had every opportunity to help the planets that needed it the most, and it failed to.

That doesn't... make the First Order right. That doesn't change what happened to Hosnian Prime which I am deeply, deeply sorry for. ~~Not because~~ But it was the Republic that left me -- these children -- to starve or take the only chance they had. You can't lay all the blame on those that made the offer.

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pethdorn
2017-12-31 04:48 am UTC (link)

I didn't put shit in his hands. He could have gone wherever in space he wanted. You know where he chose to go, this man you invited to your training program from whatever oh-so-neglected backwater you rescued him from out of the goodness of your heart? He chose to grab a blaster and he chose to lead a mission against you. What - did he make too many assumptions? Maybe he should have stopped and questioned his preconceptions a little more, while your goons were trying to blast us out of the sky? Fuck you. When I met him, he didn't have a name. I couldn't be prouder of him. Everything he did, he did because it was the right thing to do, and because no matter how hard you try, you can't stamp that out of people. He's the proof: you will fail.

And I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorrier that you think it excuses you from forcing people into battle. I don't know how it's supposed to clarify why the first thing you did when you got here was lick Hux's boots. I don't know why you think that the fact that a government has flaws means you get to overthrow it violently, killing trillions of innocent civilians in the process. The First Order isn't not-right, it's wrong, and no matter what ills you think it was trying to fix, it could never, ever have been right. I can absolutely blame the people putting together an army, and I do. I blame you. I blame you for seeing people who needed help and deciding to use them to blow a hole in the galaxy so big it'll never heal. You destroyed a system, and you stained the souls of every man, woman and child you forced to be a part of it. There's no coming back from that. ~~They were my f~~

Maybe you're sorry. I don't know. I know saying it doesn't mean shit. You have to show it. If you hurt someone, if you regret that things are a certain way, you make it better, you try to change them. That's the only thing, the only thing, that ever, ever counts. Words mean nothing. Actions are everything. Maybe try taking Finn's example on that one. He obviously knows plenty that you never taught him.

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archex
2017-12-31 05:40 am UTC (link)

~~Don't you ever accuse me of~~ There is no doubt in my mind that Finn believed he did the right thing in helping you. I certainly believed it was right when I helped Vi escape. [...] It was the right thing to do.

I didn't know that Starkiller was used until I got here. I didn't.That was wrong, but it was also something that the First Order I grew up in wouldn't [...] It wouldn't have done. I know you don't believe that. I'm not going to try to make you believe it. But I do.

And I do because the Order I knew gave me every opportunity and every choice I would have never otherwise had. I knew the risks, we all do. We're not forced like you seem to think we are, you just don't know what it's like to know you mean nothing and finally have someone tell you different. And mean it.

But that -- all of it -- died with Brendol Hux. And I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner, or see the true depravity that inherited and directed the Order once he was gone. There were meant to be negotiations with the Republic, deals, diplomacy. Our weapons and our armies were meant to intimidate, as the Republic ignored our pleas for so long. What happened was devastating, and there are no words. Words, as you said, mean nothing.

Which is why you needn't think too hard about the words I used with Armitage Hux. I want nothing more than to slit his throat, but I'd rather he didn't know that until I was close enough to make it count.

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