Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Trust me!"

Roger Davies (pridechaser) wrote in impetuousrpg,
@ 2011-06-21 18:33:00

Entry tags:

char: lavender brown, char: roger davies

Who: Roger Davies and Lavender Brown
When: Wednesday afternoon
Where: Lavender’s flat, then traveling
What: They really, really, really need to talk.
Rated/Status: PG-13ish for language. Complete.

Roger stood outside Lavender’s flat and paced on the sidewalk, trying to will himself to knock. What a mess his life was. A gigantic fucking mess. The day before he’d been in Napa Valley, with the most beautiful American witch he’d ever met. The day before that, he’d been carefree as a bird on the beaches of Malibu. Today? He was standing in front of a werewolf’s flat, who was quite possibly the mother of his child. And they were about to go to Turkey to sort things out.

It was a terrible idea. He knew that. Going off alone with Lavender never led to good things. But at this point? What was one more bad decision? Recently he’d just been wading through a pool of stupid, making moronic decisions as he went. Except most of those moronic decisions hadn’t had permanent repercussions. Lavender pregnant? Pretty permanent. Roger halfway just wanted to turn around and go back to Malibu. Or New York. Or Idaho. Fuck, anywhere. He could play for one of the American leagues and just never have to deal with London again. Except he couldn’t.

He sighed and finally forced himself up the little steps to her door and knocked, holding the duffel that had accompanied him on all his travels. He hadn’t even taken the time to stop back at home to repack. Half of his clothes were dirty and he was still carrying around a Statue of Liberty statue that made one side of the bag jut out awkwardly from the point of her torch. He needed to find a laundromat and possibly an iron but that could wait until whenever they got to the hotel. He didn’t want to be in London any longer than absolutely necessary. News had a way of traveling in the city and he didn’t want to be anywhere near the reporters if they’d caught wind of this whole mess.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 05:58 am UTC (link)

Roger landed fairly steadily. He didn't particularly like Portkeys either, but he'd had a fair amount of practice with them recently. This was his third in less than a week, and his second of the day. He was getting pretty good with them. But seeing Lavender's reaction almost made him laugh. That was a stance that was all too familiar to him, and if he remembered correctly, a position Lavender had seen him in once or twice.

"Alright there?" he asked, amusement evident in his voice. He started to offer his hand, but he pulled it back once she'd righted herself. Instead, he adjusted the straps of both bags and started toward the lobby of the resort, hanging back enough that she could catch up.

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 06:07 am UTC (link)

"Don't laugh at me. Jerk." She shook her head and started after Roger, trying to keep up with him. A few steps behind him, she was grateful that he had slowed down enough for her to catch up.

Thankfully, the walk to the check in offices was not as far as it had seemed from within the tree line and it took little to no time to actually get there. She didn't say much more then necessary while they checked in and received their room keys, and continued to remain silent until they were in their room. It was large, bigger then it really needed to be, considering they were both getting their own rooms, but Merlin, it was gorgeous. The view from their room was outstanding and there was even a pool. "I already don't want to leave."

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 06:26 am UTC (link)

Roger did laugh, but only once he was turned away from her and still out of reach. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

He appreciated that Lavender had set everything up in her name, even though it was a Muggle place and fairly remote. There was already so much that could potentially ruin this trip- reporters weren't something he wanted to throw into the mix.

As soon as they got to the rooms, all his misgivings about Turkey were completely erased. At first, he'd wondered of all places, why Lavender would pick this. But from the view now? It was obvious. They were definitely about as far from London as one could get.

He took a few minutes to explore their room- which, really, it was more of a little cottage. "You can have the master," Roger announced, dropping his bag onto the bed of the smaller bedroom. He wasn't picky, so long as it was a separate space. He crossed the living room and set Lavender's bag inside the other bedroom.

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 06:35 am UTC (link)

Lavender had already walked through the cottage, just clear across it. The inside wasn't what had her attention. The private garden and the walkway to the private pool had captivated her. She was going to spend all her time out here! The pool water was so blue, and dipping her toe into the water, she realized it was also heated. There was a cabana off to the side as well, with a daybed and some chairs for relaxing away from the sun.

"You can have the master, I don't think I'm leaving this little area right here. Ever. I want to grow old in this pool and die in the day bed." Tilting her head back, Lavender closed her eyes and soaked in the sun. This was all just completely different from anything she'd seen in London.

The cottage was close enough that when she spun on her heels, she could still see and hear Roger. And it was almost completely open and she could see right into the rooms. That would be amazing to wake up to. And it was pretty secluded, so they didn't have to worry about other guests seeing anything.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 06:54 am UTC (link)

Roger crossed the living room and paused in the doorway, leaning against it as he took everything in. It was beautiful, and peaceful, and serene. And he couldn't help but notice that it suited Lavender. She was beautiful in the sunlight, with her head tilted like that, and he couldn't help smiling at her like some love-drunk idiot. Fuck. This was such a bad idea.

"Come on, Lav," he said, pushing off from the doorway and turning back inside. "If we're going to talk, let's get it over with."

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 07:00 am UTC (link)

"Way to sound really excited there," she mumbled under her breath as she followed Roger back into the cottage and away from the sun. But really, the way he said it, Lavender suddenly didn't want to have the talk anymore. She wanted to put it off for longer, like he had been doing for ages.

Lavender couldn't do that though. She had been waiting for this moment, and no matter how things went in the next few hours or so, she was still here, with her own room, with the most gorgeous views she could ask for and she was going to make the most of it.

Inside, Lavender took a seat on one of the couches in the living area. "Alright, let's try and make this.. not terrible." It was already kind of awkward if she were being honest.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 07:12 am UTC (link)

There was a reason Roger had put this off for so long. He sucked at relationships, and he sucked even more at relationship talks. He was really best at casual dating. Seeing a girl for a while, sex, having it pleasantly taper off and then having the option for future sex the next time they were both single again. That was pretty much how his relationships went, and it worked for him. The last time he'd moved beyond casual sex and dating had been Mandy, and that had ended pretty painfully. Problem was, he and Lavender had long since crossed the line of casual dating. Whether it had been his jealousy, her working to make him jealous or her getting pregnant... at whatever point they'd actually crossed the line, they had. And this talk was overdue.

Roger took a seat diagonal from her, because sitting directly across from her was awkward. This whole thing was awkward, actually. "Fair enough. So, where would you like to start?" He leaned back and draped an arm over the seat cushion. "We can start with Flint, if you want to jump right in. Or we could discuss Mandy or my issues or your issues, or we could get straight to the point and talk baby. Up to you."

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 07:22 am UTC (link)

Honestly, none of that really sounded appealing. Least of all, Mandy. "What does Mandy have to do with anything? We're just having a disagreement over my obviously terrible treatment of you." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "No, I would much rather talk about A-something. Or even Sam. Her name you remembered."

Oh, yes, that was intense jealousy he heard in her voice. Lavender hadn't even meet Sam and she already didn't like the girl. She was obviously beautiful and captivating and a witch, American which gave her a little bit of an exotic twist. And best of all, she was blonde and not pregnant and not Lavender.

She was jealous, and she didn't want to be jealous, because the feeling was just awful. How in the world was she supposed to equal up to Sam? She could obviously drink, as they had met in the bar, she knew about Quidditch, she lived in California. And Lavender? She was brunette, a growing sore spot recently as everyone seemed more interested in blondes these days, a werewolf, terrible at relationships and from London, which everyone was trying to escape!

There was no competition.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 07:30 am UTC (link)

Roger shrugged. "Good, because I like Mandy. Glad that's settled." He frowned slightly as she moved swiftly on to her next point. "A-something?" he repeated, then got it. "Oh. Her." He coughed to hide a completely inappropriate smirk that was threatening to creep across his face. "Not much to talk about there." He cleared his throat.

"And Sam? She's-" he was supposed to still be there with Sam, actually. "Not really an issue anymore." He hadn't told her he'd had to leave early to come check in on his pregnant ex-girlfriend. That would have gone over well.

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 07:42 am UTC (link)

Lavender just rolled her eyes, letting out a breath as they didn't really stop to discuss Mandy. She wasn't really pertinent to the conversation they needed to have today. That could wait, really.

"You're avoiding the topic, there has to be something to talk about? You'd barely even left the country and before you made it into the next, you were already sexing it up with some slag on a plane. There is plenty to talk about there." She honestly didn't think Roger hated her that much, that he had to fuck around with the first girl he came into contact with, but apparently, that wasn't the case. And it just got worse from there.

"But she is, Roger. If we're going to have this talk, you have to talk to me too. It can't all be one sided. I have to know. You went across country to be with her. It was quick, but so were we, really, so I can't rule out that you actually liked her, cause I think you actually liked me at some point." Honestly, Lavender didn't mean to come off sounding so insecure, but, hell, maybe bringing it up like that, Roger would tell her how he really felt about her?

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 07:49 am UTC (link)

Roger shrugged. "I was under the impression that, what, two days before you'd been sexing it up with Flint. So, yeah. I had fun on my way to America. I wasn't with anyone and to be honest I didn't know what was happening until it was happening, but no, I didn't stop it." He arched an eyebrow. "Suitable?"

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "She was a summer thing. Yeah, I liked her. I wouldn't have gone out there to see her if I didn't. And maybe if things were different? I don't know." Roger shook his head. "She'd probably still be just a summer thing. But that doesn't really matter. I came here to be with you, didn't I?"

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 07:57 am UTC (link)

"I didn't fuck Flint. I didn't sleep with him, or sex him up, or whatever else you want to call it. Not since the Quidditch thing. And since then? I haven't been with anyone but you. That's the truth of it. I really hope you believe that, despite the way I made things sound in my journal. I was angry with you and I shouldn't have twisted my words." There, perhaps that would knock out another conversation they needed to have. She was trying hard not to get upset when she talked about it though, because, honestly, she was tired of everyone thinking she was a slag and sleeping around with people. She wasn't.

"I don't really know why you came here. A sense of obligation to see this through, if it really is your baby or not. You didn't want to come home, but I ruined the rest of your vacation. Other then that, you might have still been with her. I really don't know." She shrugged and leaned back against the couch, running her palms over her closed eyes.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 08:04 am UTC (link)

"You let me think you did," Roger said, matter-of-fact. "And you went out of your way to do so. To let me know, and Katie know, and everyone else know, that you were still messing around with him. Jogging or whatever you were doing, you didn't make it sound innocent. After I'd busted my knuckles on that stupid fucking face of his because he said I couldn't keep you on a tight enough leash." Roger clenched his fist involuntarily. Just thinking about it still pissed him off.

"I came because I felt like it's where I needed to be. I didn't want you to be alone and, yeah, if you hadn't send me that note Monday? I'd probably be there with her. But you did send me that note, and after that? Nothing else mattered but being here." To be honest? He didn't really know why either.

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 08:15 am UTC (link)

"Everyone else knew I didn't sleep with him, actually." Okay, so, probably not the best way to go, but it was true. She went out of her way to make sure everyone else was well aware that she hadn't slept with him. It was just Roger she was trying to make jealous. "Katie knew every detail of what happened when I went running with him, and no, she wasn't thrilled, but, yeah, she knows."

Maybe sitting on the opposite side of the room was a smart idea. She wanted to reach over and thread her hand through his as his clenched fist was a little scary, but she wasn't sure how he would react. From across the room, she couldn't make any silly moves such as that and get herself into anymore trouble.

"But what am I? What are we? Am I just a sense of obligation now? Find out if it's yours and then what? You'll take care of it, and me, but are you going to resent me forever? If it's not yours? Wipe your brow in thanks and be done with me?" The last thing she wanted was for him to hate her forever. They could fight like champs, but if they kept coming out alright in the end then it didn't matter, but if that wasn't going to be the case, if she was just going to be his burden that he felt he needed to take on, she didn't want that.

"I want nothing more then for this baby to be yours. But if we're going to hold you back, or be another chore or burden, then I'll deal with this on my own."

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 08:28 am UTC (link)

"Oh? Well. Glad they were all in on it." He glared down at his hands. "Point is, you knew exactly what you were doing, so don't act innocent about it."

Roger sighed and looked back up at Lavender, meeting her eyes. "I don't know what we are, Lav. I don't know what we ever were. All I know is the thought of you with any other guy... I fucking hate it. But you go out of your way to piss me off, which you do a great job at, by the way- and I can't deal with your games anymore. It's going to take a lot for me to trust you again and I'm sure it won't be easy for you to trust me, either."

He didn't know what he'd do if it wasn't his. He really didn't. Not that he really wanted a baby right now, but even less than he wanted Lavender having his baby was the thought of her having Flint's. Roger thought about it for a long while, then finally spoke. "If it's not mine, I'm sure you'll marry him and have a perfect Pureblood baby. I doubt he'd let me have anything to do with you, so I'd accept that. And I hope you'd be happy."

"If it is mine? You're stuck with a Halfblood mutt like me and I'd try my best not to fuck up at being a parent the way I do at being a boyfriend and a Captain."

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 08:46 am UTC (link)

"Have you noticed that Katie isn't exactly my biggest fan right now? I'm not trying to act innocent. I know I fucked up. I know that. And, I can't really convey how sorry I am over the journals, but maybe you'll see it now?" Oh, yeah, that was a tear welling up in the corner of her eye. And no, she really wasn't that good of an actress. "I'm sorry. I am really really sorry and if I could take it back, Merlin, I would."

Lavender went quiet for a few minutes, trying to let that sink in before she pushed up off of her couch and moved to sit next to Roger, finally. "I don't really know what we are either, but can I be honest? We're good at fighting. We're great at it even. But at the end of the day, I hate it when you aren't there. I hate the mornings when I wake up alone. That's why, despite knowing that we have no idea where we are going or what we are doing, I keep letting you into my damn flat." She smiled at him, still keeping just enough distance between them that they weren't touching. She would leave that to Roger.

"I'm not going to marry Marcus. It might be the proper thing to do, but I won't. I don't want to marry him and he doesn't want to marry me and no one would be happy. If the baby is Flint's and he's sure it's not, he's sure he took precautions, then... I wont have the baby." As soon as she said it, her arm went around her stomach and her eyes closed tight.

"So, it has to be your baby and you're going to be a great daddy. And we'll work through our problems and we'll be okay, because damn it, Roger, this has all be really fast and a really bad broom ride, but I think I love you and that's why I try and make you angry when things don't go my way. And that doesn't make any sense, but this has to be your baby. Okay?" The tears in her eyes finally spilled over, her arm staying around her midsection.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 09:05 am UTC (link)

"Katie will come around," Roger said, shaking his head. "She's a sweet girl, she doesn't stay mad." Thankfully. "And I get that you're sorry. I do. Just- don't do it again." He sighed, a bit resigned.

"Yeah, we're awesome at fighting. Don't know if any two people are better at it than we are. But at the end of the day, I like it when you let me into your damn flat. Half the time when I get drunk, I hope I can get to the point of incapacitation so you can carry me home." He smiled back at her, really hating that they weren't touching. Yeah, he had to touch her. Roger reached out and tugged her closer until she was settled up against him.

He shook his head fiercely when she implied what she'd do if it was Marcus'. "No. You don't have to be with him, but I won't let you do that. Not for my sake. And not because of his, either." He pressed his hand against her own hand, rested against her stomach.

He didn't really know what to do when she started crying. He really was not good with girls crying. And they both knew they were terrible together and this was a terrible idea and they would probably never work even though both of them wanted it so badly. But he couldn't tell her that. So he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his cheek against her hair and just held her. "We'll be okay, Lav. I promise."

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 09:16 am UTC (link)

Lavender, finally, threaded her fingers through his and held his hand over her stomach. "I don't want you to hate me. And I don't want you to leave. But I want this baby. You know, better then anyone, that I want this baby."

Merlin, they were terrible together. They were like two pieces of a puzzle that belonged to the same picture, but didn't fit together. But, hell, she loved him. And she knew he loved her too. He didn't have to say it, she didn't expect him to ever say it, she could feel it in the way he held her. She could hear it in the way they talked to each other and the things he said to her.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 09:23 am UTC (link)

"I don't hate you," Roger said, closing his eyes and hating just a little bit that this felt so right. He was never going to be able to get Lavender Brown out of his head or heart or life. They were stuck together. Baby or no baby, they already were. He loved her, whether he was okay with admitting it or not. It was completely stupid, but that's what it was.

"And I know how badly you want it," he said softly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "So you're going to have your baby like you always wanted."

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hajalla_kukka
2011-06-22 09:34 am UTC (link)

Lavender turned, wiping at her eyes to dry them. She gave Roger a small smile and nodded. "Thank you." They were going to be fine. It was going to take more work, but they were going to get through this. And Lavender was okay with the work it was going to take.

"I'm exhausted. And I think we're in a different time zone. I'm going to.." She pointed to the room he had put her things into. "Did you still want to sleep in separate rooms?" Of course, she wanted the answer to be no, he would go and sleep with her, but she wasn't really expecting it. Saying your sorry and that you love someone, it didn't really make all the problems go away. They still had a lot to work through.

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pridechaser
2011-06-22 06:05 pm UTC (link)

Roger considered that for a moment, then shook his head. "For now, at least. I know you hate hearing it, but I still need some time to process all this." He held her for a moment longer, then disentangled himself.

"We're so good at fucking this up, Lav. Let's just leave things like this, for tonight. I'll see you in the morning." He really wanted to go in there with her and hold her and for them to wake up in the morning just fine. But neither of them was ready for that yet. And until he knew for sure the baby was his? He couldn't put himself in that position yet.

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