"I figured you would be," she said in half-humor when he admitted that he was glad she hadn't followed them. Lose anyone. Every now and then, Rae forgot that the importance she held him in, at least partially, went both ways. She looked down sheepishly when he said that, then back at him, humility and apology in her expression. "Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that other people have the same fears as me, as far as this goes," she admitted, chewing on her lip and casting her eyes downward. "I'm sorry. But I didn't go, and I wouldn't, if my brain actually allowed itself to think before I acted, so..." she smiled.
She didn't know why she'd brought up the fight with her cousins. Honestly, she didn't expect some miraculous feel-better moment, she supposed she just wanted to talk to someone who had a habit of making things like that feel a little bit better. "Lucas is kind of volatile," she mused. "Everything's black and white with him, which I guess has part to do with his youth," like he'd said. "It's just hard to fight with him. With them." April would forgive easier, probably, which made that a little less worrisome.
His half-smile made her show one of her own. "It makes me wish people would have a little more faith in me." Though she was smiling, she felt a little bit bothered by that fact. "Yeah, I'm a girl, but that doesn't automatically mean that I'm a damsel in distress."
Her eyes fluttered closed when he kissed her, and when the kiss broke, she saw his smile and felt her own growing bigger. So much of her mood had come to depend on his. It was surprising, but not unwelcome; a feeling she never thought she'd feel again. "I never thought that someone other than EJ," or Elliot, but she didn't mention him, "could make me smile just by smiling," she mused, the affection plain as day on her face.
"I guess we were both nervous." An odd thought; Rae didn't know that she was able to make anyone nervous. But it seemed like the rational explanation here. She was nervous that he'd turn her away and he was nervous that she didn't want to see him. "It's okay," she told him. "I guess, even after almost seven years, it's still hard to realize that things aren't the way they were." That they'd probably never be the same way again.
She chuckled and nodded her head. "That does help, in some ways," she told him. "I mean, everyone's got irrational paranoia. I guess it's right on par with mine, that if you care about me, if I'm close to you..." she didn't finish, but he knew what she meant. That she'd lose everyone she cared about, who cared about her. She shrugged her head to the side and kissed him on the nose, a ridiculously sentimental gesture, and ran her finger along his lip.
Chuckling, she shrugged. "As long as you don't lose patience with my worrying, then I think we'll be okay," she told him with a genuine smile. "You aren't an idiot. You're just protective. I like being protected sometimes," she added. It would take an act of congress to make her leave him, simple as that. "But if it does become too much? Then I'll definitely call you on it," she smirked and chuckled.
What was she doing? She pretended to think about it for a second. "Well," she drew the word out, "I was going to go and dance it out," she grinned a little. "But suddenly, I feel a little less tense than before. So, I guess I'm free. Why, did you have something in mind?" she asked.