Deep down, she knew that. But right now, she felt like these people weren't going to rest until they'd taken every person she held dear. Maybe it was a little paranoid, a little schizo-sounding, but it was how she felt. "I know," she admitted. "You're too smart for that," she added, looking up at him apologetically. "I didn't mean that you'd, like... do anything stupid or anything, I just..." she sighed and leaned against him. "I just don't want to lose anyone else." Especially not him. She nodded when he reminded her that they didn't follow. "I was tempted to follow them," she admitted with a sheepish expression. "I wanted to do to them what they did to David." Not that she actually knew how they'd killed him, just that they had. "But I didn't." Mostly because she wasn't able to.
There was the obvious fear. The obvious depression that came along with fighting with her family. But other than that, yeah, she was fine. "I'm still fighting with Lucas and April," she admitted. "As soon as I got home, they Lucas practically came unglued on me." She sighed and looked down. "I don't really blame him or anything? But..." she trailed off. They didn't seem to care if she was okay. Just wanted to yell at her for "being stupid."
She laughed once and shook her head no. "They didn't," she explained. "I think they thought we'd be easy marks, but..." she gave him a weak smile. "As you know, I'm a lot tougher than I look." Though maybe that toughness was only physical. She needed to work some on her emotional toughness.
Rae picked up on the hesitance, and truth be told, she'd probably have done what he asked, even if he hadn't agreed to her deal. But he had. She gave him a weak smile and squeezed him as tightly as she could. "Thank you," she told him, rocking up onto her tip toes and kissing him with all the energy she had. "I'm sure you'll have to go out before I do," she admitted. "With Brandon and Regan, I mean. But..." she chewed her lip. "If that happens... just promise me you'll come back. That you'll come back to me."
She punctuated the request with a kiss and put her non-braced hand in his hair to pull him deeper into the contact. When she broke free, she pressed her forehead to his and gave him a weak smile. "I should've just sucked it up and admitted how stupid I was," she chuckled softly. "I feel better now that I've seen you. Now that you're holding me..." she added with a shy smile.
Normally, she'd have been mad. But he was right. She shook her head when he apologized and put her hand on his cheek, in hopes of calming him down. "It's okay. Don't be sorry, love," she said, though she was a little disappointed when she said it. "If this has proven anything, it's that you're right about that. But..." she sighed. "It's just hard. I want to do it for myself, you know? I don't want people to put themselves in harms way any more than they want me to, you know?"