Parvati Patil (marredparv) wrote in icb, @ 2015-12-25 23:41:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, !open, char: parvati patil, char: seamus finnigan |
Who: Parvati
What: Narrative about Parvati accepting she'll never have kids of her own, and making a Big Decision about Wesley Bones
When: Boxing Day morning
Status: Complete Narrative, or open to Seamus
Rating: Low
Ever since Parvati had been told the healers had done all they could do, about a year and a half after the Battle of Hogwarts, Parvati had been seeking second opinions. Technically, Magical Seed had been more like a sixth opinion. The owl from them had come a few days before Christmas, but Parvati hadn't opened it. She was sure that it would contain the same message all of the other healers had given her, but Christmas was going to be hard enough as it was and she wanted to avoid the bad news a while longer. So she had focused on helping with Wesley Bones, and then on missing him once he'd been sent somewhere else, and then on the distraction of the Rosier party, and then on a quick and stressful visit to her parents' home, and always throughout there was her constant attention to her shoppe. She found many excuses to put off breaking the healer's seal on that parchment.
But now it was Boxing Day, and she sat alone at her kitchen table, very early in the morning. Christmas had passed, and even though Padma had been her only visitor yesterday, Parvati's flat felt oddly empty. She sipped her tea and told herself that refusing to open the letter wouldn't change its contents. It would either be a joyous surprise, or else it would say exactly what she feared it would. Christmas was done. She had to face it eventually.
Parvati eased her fingers beneath the edge of the seal, breaking it swiftly and unrolling the parchment. It took a moment for her to take in the words, and though she was unsurprised, she still felt her chest tighten painfully.
The damage was still irreparable. She was still infertile. Parvati could not be fixed.
That familiar surge of fury rose in her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair! She had just been fighting for what was right, and now she was forever damaged. Parvati dropped her head into her hands and let the anger wash over her. She wanted to throw her cup of tea across the kitchen, wanted to rage and scream. But what was the point? It wouldn't change anything, and she'd still be alone. She'd still have to clean it all up by herself.
Parvati took a deep, shaky breath, pulling on her own hair as though the pain might help her pull herself together. She had to let go of this stupid hope that she was ever going to find someone who could repair her. That was what was keeping her lonely, and she knew it.
A piece of her considered writing Atlas to reschedule the day's appointments so she could stay home and cry. But the part of her that had wanted to come back to London, the part that wanted to do better and be well and have a fulfilling life, the part of her that still had some courage, decided to write Atlas and tell him to reschedule her appointments for a different reason.
Perhaps she'd never be fixed, but she didn't need to be alone. Perhaps it wasn't ideal timing; Parvati had always thought she'd get herself fixed, get rid of her pain, and then do things the way she'd always imagined. She'd fall in love, they'd marry and buy a house and make a baby together. But there was an infant who needed a home now, and while Parvati may not be perfect, may not be whole, she thought she could perhaps be someone who could love that child, and keep him safe, and provide some connection or insight for him into his past. There weren't very many people who knew Wesley Bones' story, and though it may not be safe for anyone else to know that story for a very long time, perhaps she could guard his history, his tragedy, until he needed some questions answered.
She wasn't perfect, but it wasn't going to be Seamus or McGonagall, and she doubted it would be Justin, so maybe she was the best person for the job.
***
Professor McGonagall had been largely unhelpful. Parvati hadn't dared to ring her on the phone, or put anything in writing, and floo calls could be limiting. The woman hadn't said much. Hadn't said anything at all, really, about Wesley Bones' whereabouts or well-being. She'd been dismissive and vague, and Parvati understood the need for secrecy, but McGonagall didn't seem to understand what Parvati was trying to offer, trying to suggest. It was frustrating, but Parvati wasn't the sort of frustrated that she felt like giving up.
Next, she'd gone to the Emmeline House, made inquiries with the staff. That was the only place she could think to look, as that was where orphaned babies often went. She couldn't use Wesley's name, of course, but she made it clear she was interested in adopting and tried to find out what she could about him. Being careful not to identify him for his safety as well as her own left her options for questioning limited, however, and it wasn't as though they would just let her just look at all the new arrivals, like she was window shopping for a particular baby. It felt like another dead end. Investigation wasn't exactly her forte. But luckily, she knew someone who could help.
Parvati stopped to check in that everything was all right at The Divine Eye. It was, though Atlas was both surprised and supportive that she had prioritized something above work for once. Parvati smiled and told him that he was doing a good job; she was sparse with her compliments, and he was glowing with it as she left to track down Seamus.
Perhaps if she told him she'd decided to try and adopt Wesley, he could help her locate the child. At the very least, she wanted better reassurances than McGonagall's vague dismissiveness that Wesley was okay.