This is meant as a compliment: This reminded me of the classic snack fics of yesteryear, even before OotP</i>. You're right; it's not very canon compliant at all. In fact, it has the out of character tint to it that most of the classic snacks have.
It was very hot. Left me wanting more, though.
He could handle merely taking Snape's quivering, wailing virginity This was my favorite line.