springsmutfairy (springsmutfairy) wrote in hp_springsmut, @ 2008-03-24 16:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | albus dumbledore/gellert grindelwald, fic, slash |
Happy Springsmut, penknife!
Author: cmere
Recipient: penknife
Title: Lifted
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Albus has to make a choice.
Warnings: none
Word Count: ~2700
Author's Notes: I owe enormous thanks to R, E, L, and K for betas, look-overs, and general hand-holding. Happy Springsmut, penknife!
"I don't like him," Aberforth says one day while Albus is stirring a pot with one hand and holding a long roll of furiously scribbled-upon parchment with the other. He's distracted.
"Hmm...sorry, Aberforth?"
"I don't like him," Aberforth repeats, loudly, and Albus shakes his head, trying to clear it. He looks out the window for a moment, and then the words sink in.
"Don't be silly," Albus says, narrowing his eyes. "You've hardly spent five minutes with him, how can you have any opinion of him at all?"
"You're different around him," Aberforth says quietly. "It scares me sometimes." Albus stares at him, frustrated, wondering how he can make Aberforth understand. Aberforth has never been interested in academia, in politics, in fixing the world. He doesn't realize how important their work is, not just for Ariana, but for the wizarding community at large. He doesn't realize how Gellert has changed Albus, even in the short time they've known each other; they agree as often as they disagree, but the deep depression he was falling into after his mother's death has been completely lifted.
He's grateful.
"You don't understand," Albus says finally, returning his attention to the soup on the stove. Aberforth makes an annoyed noise and starts to say something else, but there's a knock at the door. "Oh, that's Gellert! He's early, Aberforth, can you finish this soup for Ariana? I really have got to go—"
"Fine," Aberforth says sullenly.
"I haven't had the chance to finish reading this," Albus says, feeling mildly alarmed at being ill-prepared.
"Oh, no," Aberforth sneers. "You haven't finished feeding your sister, either, but you don't give two shits about that."
"Leave it, Aberforth," Albus says sharply, "and watch your language." He goes to answer the door, straightening his robes as he walks.
"You seem a bit off your game today, Albus," Gellert says when they're later half-hidden between piles of books and papers, poring over documents that might help them identify the last owner of the Elder Wand.
"I've just been a bit distracted with my family," Albus says quickly. "I'm still devoted to our projects—"
"It's fine, it's fine, just an observation." Gellert's smile fades. "How is your sister?"
"The same," Albus mumbles.
"Is Aberforth looking forward to being back at Hogwarts?"
"Not at all. He'd rather stay home and take care of Ariana." Albus lets out a bit of a rueful laugh. "Is it horrible of me to want to let him, so the responsibility is off my shoulders? So we could truly begin our search for the Hallows?"
"It's not horrible," Gellert says seriously.
"He's a child," Albus continues, only half-hearing what Gellert has said. "He's fourteen years old. It shouldn't be his burden."
"It shouldn't be yours, either," Gellert says firmly. "Albus, are you listening? It shouldn't be yours."
"Well, it is. I have to accept that."
"You don't," Gellert argues, and all Albus can do is sigh. They've been over this before. "Once the Statute of Secrecy is overturned, you won't have to worry about hiding her magic."
"If that happens, Gellert, it won't be for years, and I have to deal with her until then."
"It will happen," Gellert says, and there's a gentle quality to his voice that Albus isn't sure he's heard before. He closes his eyes, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, and he feels Gellert's hand rest on his elbow. "This work isn't for nothing. We will make this happen."
"Good," Albus murmurs, and he leans briefly into the touch. He opens his eyes to see Gellert watching him closely. Heat seems to be radiating from the part of his arm that Gellert is holding onto, making him feel overly warm, almost uncomfortable. Gellert smiles, but it doesn't seem quite right. Albus coughs, and Gellert removes his hand. They settle back in with their papers, but Albus is left even more distracted, the imprint of Gellert's touch still on his skin. He stares at the book on his lap, but realizes he's reading the same words over and over again without taking in any of their meaning. Sneaking a glance at Gellert, he allows his mind to wander.
The truth is, Aberforth is going back to Hogwarts soon, and when that happens, Albus won't have time—not even to research, let alone go on this search for the Elder Wand that they're getting so close to being ready for. Ariana can't be left unsupervised for any amount of time. Albus is terrified of the day that will come when he has to tell Gellert he can't—can't go with him, can't do this—because he's seen Gellert when he's angry, and because he'll never be happy with his life in Godric's Hollow, and because he doesn't think he has the strength to say it at all. Gellert has shown him that this doesn't have to be his fate, that he was meant for greater things. Gellert has opened an entirely new world of possibility to him. He knows the right thing to do, and he couldn't care less.
It scares him.
"Albus," Gellert says in a quiet voice, shifting closer to him. "You haven't turned a page in the last ten minutes."
Albus sighs, because he hadn't intended to get caught. Gellert is never distracted, never weak; if he were in Albus' place, he would have no trouble leaving. His sister may suffer in the short term, but the rewards for wizarding society will be boundless. It's not even a choice.
"I'll focus," he says. "I'm sorry."
"We'll be fine, Albus," Gellert says. His thigh is pressing against Albus' own, and the tips of his fingers rest upon Albus' wrist. Albus slides his eyes over to glance at him and is surprised to find Gellert is staring hard at him, his eyes feverish. "Together, we can do anything."
Albus smiles weakly. "How glad I am that our paths managed to cross, Gellert."
They sit quietly for a moment, and then Gellert says, "I know this is hard for you. But I'm confident you'll make the right decision."
He doesn't remove his hand, and Albus' heart starts thudding. The room suddenly feels stuffy, too warm, overcrowded, even though it's just the two of them in the small library as always, and a breeze drifting through the open window. It reaches Albus' face he and takes a deep breath of cool, refreshing air, closing his eyes briefly, and then Gellert's hand is completely covering his own and lips are pressing against his jaw, against the corner of his mouth.
Albus thinks he should be shocked; it's not something he's thought about before, not really, but instead, as he parts his lips to allow Gellert's tongue, all he feels is a calm sense of inevitability settling over him, rising up within him. His body yields without a second thought, mindlessly turning towards Gellert and fisting hands in the fabric of his shirt as Gellert's fingers trail all the way up his arm to rest on he back of his neck.
When Gellert makes a soft, pleased noise in the back of his throat a moment later, Albus' brain suddenly kicks in, and he pulls away almost violently, standing up and almost tripping in his haste to get to the door.
"Albus—" Gellert says, jumping up after him, but Albus has already run out the door, and he doesn't look back to see if Gellert is following him. He makes it back to his own home panting and shaking all over, the intensity of his situation dawning on him.
He hadn't realized it before.
--
Albus shows up at Gellert's house the next day to apologize, although he's not sure what for; the simple need to do something propels him forward. Gellert throws the door open with a grin on his face wider than Albus has ever seen before, and he pulls Albus back to the library after a quick hello to Bathilda.
"I've found it," Gellert says, waving a piece of paper in front of Albus' face. Albus has never heard such excitement in his voice. "I've found the winner of the last duel. We have to leave as soon as possible. Are you listening to me? We have to go."
"Where did you find the last bit of the account? I thought it had been lost forever—"
"It doesn't matter, Albus, I've got it and we've got to go now!"
Some feeling has lodged itself in Albus' chest at Gellert's words—a mixture of thrill, sadness, anticipation, something else he can't quite place. There's a long moment of silence while he tries to figure out what to say, but no words that come to mind seem right. He has to make a choice.
"You know I can't leave Ariana," he finally manages to say, and he feels like every word is ripping out a piece of his soul. "Aberforth will be going back to school soon. She has no one else."
"Bring her," Gellert replies immediately. "It won't be a problem."
"How would that not be a problem?" Albus says, and feels slightly sick with himself for considering it, for immediately trying to imagine how they could get around with her and not have any problems. He knows they can't bring her. It's not an option. He can't let it be an option.
"We could make it work," Gellert says. "We have to make it work. This is it, Albus, this is our chance! How can you even consider not taking it?"
"I have to think about it. I can't just—I have to think about it." Albus is panicking, his fear for Ariana at war with his desire for the Hallows. He hadn't expected it to come to a head this soon, thought that he would at least have a couple more weeks—
"Nothing we have done up to this point is as important as this is, right now," Gellert presses. "Nothing."
Albus can only look helplessly at him, at this boy who has created within him not only the will but the need to do something just when he thought he had lost it forever. He thinks about his family—his mother, Aberforth, Ariana. He thinks about Elphias, conquering the world while he's left with the mess that is now his life. He thinks about being stuck here in Godric's Hollow forever, caring for his sister while his mind wastes away.
It's not a choice, not at all. Not with what's at stake.
He nods, just slightly. Gellert's face breaks into a genuine smile, and he takes a step forward.
"We'll figure it out," he says. "It won't be so bad. We'll figure it out."
Albus nods again. Gellert shifts again, so that he's suddenly in Albus' space, his hands moving to Albus' shoulders.
"This is it, Albus," Gellert says seriously, his eyes dark, his smile fading. "If this paper is correct…this is it."
"I know," Albus says quietly, not able to tear his own eyes away. He takes a deep breath. Every sense of his seems alive: the cool air sliding into his lungs, the musty scent of the library, his skin singing beneath Gellert's fingers.
"Albus," Gellert says again, his voice low, and Albus is frozen to the spot, but Gellert is moving closer to him like he knows what he's doing and Albus can't go anywhere, is positive he both wants to stay and wants to run. His mind goes completely blank as an arm wraps tightly around his waist and their bodies are flush together and he knows there are a thousand reasons he should be shoving away from this but something coils low in his belly and it just feels right. He's finally met someone who is his equal in every way, someone who can actually challenge his thoughts, his ideas, someone who sees the larger scale of things, the greater purpose. The realization is enough to make Albus feel dizzy, and Gellert, pressed firmly against him, isn't helping at all.
"Gellert," he says weakly, his mind's last-ditch effort to stop anything from happening. It's futile, because Gellert kisses him then, full on the mouth, and there is no way he's going to be able to stop himself now.
"We'll find it, and we'll have everything," Gellert murmurs and kisses him again, backing him up against the wall, fumbling his hand down the buttons on the front of Albus' shirt. Albus' hands seem to automatically fall on his waist and Gellert is pressed up so closely against him that he can hardly breathe. Albus feels overwhelmingly, wonderfully warm, heat pressing up beneath his skin, and he wants in a way he never has before. Gellert's mouth on his feels hot and wet and good, feels like it's what Albus has been waiting for without even knowing it. Gellert kisses him like he's been wanting this forever, and maybe he has.
Albus feels his shirt slide open and Gellert's hand slip beneath his undershirt, fingers leaving a burning trail against his bare skin. There's no hesitance in his movements as he drags Albus' shirt off his shoulders, trailing his mouth down Albus' neck.
"We'll be so strong," Gellert whispers, pulling Albus' undershirt over his head. Albus feels himself shaking, is hardly able to lift his arms to help. Gellert nips at his earlobe, slides fingers down Albus' bare chest, and pulls his own shirt over his head. "We haven't even come close to our full potential yet."
"I know," Albus breathes out, and Gellert's mouth is on his again, effectively cutting off any further thoughts. Gellert's thigh nudges its way between Albus' legs and presses up and Albus can't help but cry out, just a bit, and he begins rocking himself forward and back. Pleasure surges through him so quickly and intensely he almost thinks he'll just come in his trousers, but Gellert bites down gently on his lower lip, tugging a bit, and it distracts him enough that he gets his body under control. Then Gellert's hands close around his wrists and slam them up against the wall over his head, and Albus gasps into the curving grin of Gellert's mouth.
He forgets to move for a second, but Gellert's thigh rubs insistently up against him and he's completely lost in it; his entire body feels like something is burning just below his skin, buzzing, and then Gellert has got Albus' wrists pinned up with one hand and the other is snaking down his body, and Gellert's mouth slides over his jaw, down, sucking on his pulse point, dragging his teeth, and then his hand is down Albus' trousers and stroking and all of a sudden the feeling is completely concentrated in his cock and all it takes is three quick pulls before Albus is coming hard, his thighs shaking and pleasure spreading through his body like molten liquid. His knees are weak and Gellert drops his wrists to wrap that arm around Albus' waist, holding him tightly as he removes his hand from Albus' trousers.
For a moment Albus can't quite bring himself to do anything but stare wordlessly at him, completely unraveled in a way he hadn't imagined. Then, Gellert smiles a little and Albus shifts, bringing his own hand down to cup Gellert's erection, eyes widening at the groan it elicits. He flicks open the button and undoes the zip, pushing his hand into Gellert's pants and gripping his cock. Gellert's forehead comes to rest on Albus' shoulder, his breathing heavy near Albus' ear, and he begins to stroke as Gellert thrusts into his hand. They move together and as Albus speeds up Gellert's hand tightens around his waist, squeezing him closer and closer until Gellert lets out a soft "oh," and Albus feels the slight pulse of his cock as he comes, his mouth breathing hot on Albus' neck.
He and Gellert stand, supporting each other against the wall, and Albus thinks of the journey ahead of them, all the things they are, all the things they could be. Every possibility is coming together in a way he would never dare to dream of, and he's going to take it.
He has to.