The Dungeons

Professor Scamander,

You will see I have instructed that this be left on your napkin instead of in your teacup, as you appear to be so very unobservant as to miss a note in your teacup before filling it.

It is very clear to me that neither you nor the children of Ravenclaw house have mastered the Rules of Hogwarts. If they had, there would be no question of this kind of misbehavior. And I am sorely disappointed in you as Head of House. I had thought you concerned with your children's well being, not some showy attempt at demonstrating to the rest of the school that they finished first. That is hubris, Professor, not learning.

As regards to your animals, the Ministry has kindly facilitated acquisitions in an effort to repair the prior mismanagement and misappropriation. You will receive delivery of your first creatures tomorrow. I do hope you have a better care of them than you have yet demonstrated for your children.

Headmistress Umbridge

Professor Binns,

How entertaining. I do love a good joke. Of course, now is neither the time nor the place. I do hope I give your condition due consideration, a consideration of which none of the other staff are so necessitous.

The Library will be open at such time as I may be certain that the children are secure from the more injurious volumes. Be assured that this will be quite soon. You are a historian, sir. Do attempt to see the larger picture.

Headmistress Umbridge

*a door opening*

*muffled* Is that you, Ratheburn? I needed those forms hours ago.

*the opening of a door*

Oh. ( It's you. )

*panting and a groan*

Stop that, it tickles. We'll never get up and make it to dinner and Gravesy will start to pull on his ears or hit his head or something else ( unsuitably drastic. )

My dear Perpetua,


At last I've got a quiet moment to sit down and write to you; this week has been more draining than I could have anticipated. I've had to remind myself over and over of Father's saying that "the first week in any new position is always the hardest." In this case, I hope that he proves to be as correct, as he usually was.

Managing a classroom has not proven to be as difficult as I'd feared it would be. After all, I've been through all those stages with my own children, and I doubt that any of them could get up to worse tricks than Paul used to. And so far, there's actually been very little to do in the sense of actual teaching: the Headmistress set the students in all Houses to revision of the new Hogwarts Rules, and my main business has simply been to maintain quiet and order in the classroom.

Next week, I'll have to offer real lessons, I suppose. I do so wish that my application to teach Transfigurations had been successful: I was at school with the pompous ass they gave that position to, and my N.E.W.T. score in Transfigurations was far superior to his. But beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. And after so many years spent at home, I'm lucky to get this job. Muggle Studies should be easy enough to teach, lord knows.

*An eager knocking, a long pause, then quite a lot louder knocking*

Professor?! Oh, Professor!