The Dungeons

New Administration to Bring Educational Reform
by Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of Magic-elect

I do not think I exaggerate when I say education is one of the most important issues the wizarding world faces today. As our society ages, it is imperative that we in Britain have outstanding witches and wizards in the younger generations in place, ready to step into positions of responsibility and authority wherewith to lead our great nation into its glorious place within the annals of wizarding history.

The recent election of Harry Potter, our beloved hero, as our representative to the Muggle Parliament is a fine example of what greatness Hogwarts School can produce under a strong and dedicated Headmaster. Mr Potter is an exemplary product of Albus Dumbedore's tutelage, a true testament to the principles of his House and his school.

There have been questions posed to the Board of Governors in recent days as to why Professor Severus Snape was dismissed from his position. Such details are, of course, confidential, but as former chair of the Board, I can authoritatively say that, despite the Headmaster's exemplary record in providing a sound educational foundation for Hogwarts students, there were deep concerns regarding his ability to provide the proper moral and social education so needed to keep our students from the dangers and pitfalls that so many fell into while under the spell of the Dark Lord not too many years past.

I have great faith in our new Headmistress, Dolores Umbridge, who has previously proven herself most capable in this position. The Ministerial Education Committee, along with the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School stand entirely behind Professor Umbridge as she strives to bring our school and our students into the twenty-first century with grace and dignity.

In addition, I am most pleased to support the new chair of the Board of Governors, Edwin Hibbit-Turril. He has served the school as board member with great humility and loyalty for fifteen years, and I am proud to name him my successor. Mr Hibbit-Turril will begin the process of replacing my position on the Board of Governors shortly.

A new era has begun, my friends. May it bring prosperity and success to our children and our children's children.

An Educational Failure Laid at the Ministry's Feet
by Harry J. Potter, MP, Diagon Alley

A wise man once taught me to trust in myself. I hated him at the time for that lesson. I thought him harsh. Cruel. I was certain he loathed me.

That lesson, so difficult to learn, kept me alive during a war I had no choice but to fight. It gave me the strength to defeat a Dark Lord. And then to do it again ten years later.

Professor Severus Snape is one of the bravest, strongest, most moral men I know, and he will hate seeing those words in print when he picks up this newspaper. Not because he disagrees with them, but because he feels his past should deny him their comfort.

That's a doubt I know all too well myself.

We are not our past choices. We are our future choices--as Professor Snape has proved time and time over.

And now he's being persecuted for his choices. For ones in his past he regrets, and for ones in his present that are no one's business but his and those who care for him.

The Board of Governors of Hogwarts School would have you believe that his moral failings--his marriage, his children, his relationship with me--makes him unfit to serve as Hogwarts Headmaster. That, as anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see, is ridiculous. How can being a father, a husband, a lover, a friend be morally deficient in any way? If that's the case, then what one of us can claim any sort of moral superiority?

They've chosen to replace him with a woman under whom I had the extreme misfortune of spending my fifth year at Hogwarts. Dolores Umbridge is an outrageous headmistress. Her idea of discipline involves a charm in which lines that students write are carved into their skin. This is not hearsay; this is fact. I still have the scars on the back of my hand. I will not tell lies.

She terrorised the school for an entire year. She tormented students, bullied professors, and devastated the curricula. We learned nothing that year after she tied the hands of our professors, dictating what they could and could not include in their lectures. Her teaching abilities as Defence of Dark Arts professor were so pathetically feeble that I had no choice but to take tutoring other students on myself after hours in an attempt to make certain we knew what was necessary for us to know in order to face Voldemort himself.

I was fifteen years old, and I was a better professor than she.

Shame on Rufus Scrimgeour and his cronies. Shame on them for putting this woman in charge of our children's education. Shame on the Ministry for allowing it. As a father, I cannot condone this. While my children are not yet Hogwarts age, should Umbridge remain in her position when my daughter and my son receive their school letters, I cannot in good conscience allow them to attend. I would rather them be educated overseas then forced to endure what was done to me.

The Board of Governors have failed. They have failed Severus Snape.They have failed Hogwarts. And they have, without any doubt, failed the children of wizarding Britain.

Bring Severus Snape back.

*Copies of the letter are addressed individually to O. Adoyo, L. Bagman, C. Binns, L. Brown, T. Hardew, D. Jackman, H. Lowtefute, I. MacDougal, P. Pettigrew, R. Scamander, A. Smith, and D. Whyte*

Colleagues,

I welcome you to a beginning, a first step along the wonderful journey that is the guardianship of the children of Wizarding Britain and the return of Hogwarts School's greatness. You will find attached your teaching schedule and Heads of House shall find extra duties outlined as well. Please do review the Prefect selection as revisions must be undertaken no later than Sept. 2.

Once you have settled into your quarters, there will be tea and cakes in the anteroom off the Great Hall this afternoon at 4. I look forward to seeing you all. And again, please know that my office is always open to you.

Yours sincerely,

D. Umbridge
Headmistress

*composed upon official letterhead*

Dear parent,

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has undergone a change in administration, and we find ourselves no longer able to satisfy your children's special needs.

I believe there is a school in America that serves such children as yours. I would be glad to furnish a recommendation should you have need.

Yours sincerely,

D. Umbridge
Headmistress
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Dear Draco,

Thank you for urging me to press Severus about his mood and situation. I feel that, in asking me to press harder, with the effect that you must have foreseen, you entrusted me with your personal business (for Severus’ sake, of course) to a degree that, when I learned what was at stake, surprised me. So, I am grateful to you for placing his interests ahead of your preferences, for helping me to understand the situation, for trusting me, and for disturbing my complacency.

More than enough sensibility for your taste, perhaps: now on to sense. Last week, you offered a bold proposal regarding Slytherin House and asked me if I might be able to do something on the Gryffindor side. I feel I owe it to you to try. Most students would be better off avoiding Hogwarts for the time being, in any event; all of the air has gone out of the place in the last week, and most of the fire and water are likely to, as well. Nothing against Hufflepuff, but earth alone will not sustain a school. I speak metaphorically, of course, and not in code.

I will see if anything can be arranged.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you wish to discuss this, or indeed anything else (except shopping).

Albus

PS I believe Fawkes would like to visit with the children. Please feel free to keep him until after sunset, unless he is a nuisance.

Hello Harry,

I wonder if I might call on you at your new offices. Or, better yet, if you would be so kind as to call on me. Shall we say the railway platform in Hogsmeade, at around midnight? It doesn't have to be tonight. Your owl will find me.

Heartfelt congratulations on your election, and thank you for your excellent column in The Prophet. I'm already glad I voted for you. I'm sorry to impose on your limited leisure time.

Albus

Justin.

You didn't have a problem getting in, did you? Oh, watch that box. Sorry. (Think it'll take some time for me to get settled.)

Dear Marik and Tonks,

I am writing in the hope that you might be willing to advise me informally on legal matters regarding my return to England. I would prefer the counsel of friends before initiating any bureaucratic processes.

I know you are quite busy with house-hunting, but if you could find the time to see me, I would be most grateful.

With sincere thanks in advance,

Pansy

Luna!

Christ, I've been all over the house looking for you. Aunt Beth said that I might as well spend the night here since you're taking me to the Ministry in the morning for --

WAKE UP!

( It's not like you had to go to school. )

Are you sure that I have to go? Can't I just be entirely homeschooled? I don't need maths and literature and all the other stupid things they're making me do, like play squash!