InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Violent loo shagging"

atdelphi (atdelphi) wrote in hp_beholder,
@ 2013-04-21 08:17:00

Entry tags:

argus filch, argus filch/irma pince, beholder 2013, fic, het, irma pince, minerva mcgonagall, minerva mcgonagall/severus snape, rating:pg-13, severus snape

FIC: "The Vultures of Love" for lyras
Recipient: lyras
Author/Artist: ???
Title: The Vultures of Love
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Irma Pince/Argus Filch, Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape
Word Count: 13,000
Medium: Fic
Warnings/Content Information (Highlight to View): *Language. Lots of naughty language.*.
Summary: None.
Author's/Artist's Notes: I had one of your prompts all picked out and was about to start in on it, when I got attacked by this idea and it wouldn't let go. I do apologize, and hope this is also to your liking.

The Vultures of Love

(Don't forget to return to this page to leave feedback for the author!)

(Post a new comment)

lash_larue
2013-04-21 05:22 pm UTC (link)

Outstanding!

I love how you didn't knock any of the corners off of these characters. Even Snape's disdain of Filch for wanting to beat the students was wonderfully IC.

I never thought of the anagram for Pince, either. Have you ever met youself coming around a corner?

Oh, and, Argus Filch wasn't certain what she meant with her talk of intimacy, but he knew he meant to find out - *ba-dum-bum*. Awesome.

Marvelous read, this!
L

(Reply to this)

	a_boleyn 2013-04-21 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	I would have never paired either of these 2 couples but they seem made for each other. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2013-04-21 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	I loved this. (Reply to this)

	shadowycat 2013-04-21 08:56 pm UTC (link)
	Lovely story! I thoroughly enjoyed it. :D (Reply to this)

	dandru 2013-04-21 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	This was quite enjoyable, and despite all the focus on romantic entanglements, I loved that the heart of this fic was always rooted to Severus' relationship with Eileen. Perspective is such a tricky thing, and you did a great job exemplifying just how hurtful assumptions can be... especially between two similarly damaged people. Lovely. (Reply to this)

alisanne
2013-04-21 11:53 pm UTC (link)

Ahahaha!
Oh my but that was delightful. :)
Severus' relationship with Eileen made complete sense, as did Dumbledore's solution to the 'problem' she presented after Tobias' death.
And Severus' relationship with Minerva...*giggles* I love how she gave as good as she got. Her dry wit really does make her a perfect match for Severus here.
And Filch/Irma! Wow, how fabulously matched they were, too.
All in all, lovely job!

(Reply to this)

thisaestus.livejournal.com
2013-04-22 12:37 am UTC (link)

It's been a long time since I read a fic that had me so thoroughly enthralled. When I got to "I'm a prince," my jaw literally dropped open. I have never seen a story with this particular twist, and now I am wondering why not. After reading this, I feel like it surely must be canon.

And how delicious this is! Each of the romances would have been beautiful and complete on its own, but weaving them together like this is just glorious. There are so many little things I adored--Dumbledore encouraging Minerva to find a bit of romance, when in fact she has been having quite a lot of it, Snape hating Filch and equating him as a child abuser like his father, Minerva telling Albus that Pince's anagram wasn't one of his best, Eileen's love of books, Snape and his mother's social climbing/class consciousness, the rancor between them (and especially how it settles a bit, and Filch, oh that scene when she drops her wand and how practical and kind he is to her.

In fact, the way you wrote Filch has me convinced I know who you are, and I am usually terribly bad at guessing these things. I can't wait to check back and find out if I was right, but in the meantime, I'll just favorite this and read it again.

(Reply to this)

squibstress
2013-04-22 03:46 pm UTC (link)

This was a total treat. Eileen Prince = Irma Pince FTW!

I adore this kind of Minerva/Severus--unsentimental but caring, with just the right amount of snark and competition. I also love the way Snape evolves from unsure young man to confident lover, both emotionally, and (as you hint) sexually. And Minerva's touch of insecurity at the beginning is just right.

The tension in the relationship between Severus and Irma is just spot-on, and it's easy to see how a mother like Eileen might have influenced Severus to become the sort of man he is, good and bad. The conversation between them in the beginning is wonderful, as he flits between boyishness (Snapian boyishness, anyway) and manhood.

I also love that you didn't make Filch the caricature bumbling, angry, inarticulate git that he's so often portrayed as. He's very believable here and heart-meltingly human, though not perfect.

There is so much that I love here, but I'm going to quote my very favorite bit:

"Maybe so," said Severus, looking down at her, "but at least I spend my time consorting with the best Hogwarts can offer, while doing a reasonably good impersonation of the same.

(Reply to this)

lyras
2013-04-22 03:47 pm UTC (link)

Oh, wow, this was such a treat! Thank you so much - I'm afraid I read this a few hours ago but was unable to comment then, so I hope I can do the story justice now.

Firstly, thank you so much for writing such a thoroughly engaging story. It sucked me in right from the assured first sentence, and kept me reading straight through to the end, despite its length. I love the way you set up Severus and Eileen's relationship, prickly and complex, and I kind of enjoyed the tidy way you got Tobias out of the way immediately so we could get on with the good stuff. *g*

I adored both romances. I think your Filch voice is my favourite, but all four main characters are wonderful. I love the parallels you draw between Eileen's past and present lives - and I did enjoy 1) the adroit way that you avoided dealing with Hallowe'en 1981 and 2) the way you tied the ending into PS, with Snape and Filch finally having a bit of respect for one another.

Anyway, I was talking about the romances: I loved the way, as another commenter said, you refused to knock any corners off the characters. I adored Severus's surly courting of Minerva, and was completely charmed by him carrying her off to Vienna. The way you bounced the two relationships off one another was really effective, too.

The linguist in me loves "Hexenstrasse", and it's details like this one, and the very lovely scene between Minerva and Dumbledore, that make the story feel so fully realised for me. One of those stories that really feel as if they live beyond the page.

Thank you so much - this truly was a wonderful story and I absolutely loved it!

(Reply to this)

	teddy_radiator 2013-04-22 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	Sublime!!! I loved this so much. Never apologise for a great story, and this was. Totally believable, and as welcome as spring after a hard winter. Thank you for sharing. This was a treat which I will treasure. (Reply to this)

therealsnape
2013-04-23 12:53 pm UTC (link)

What a marvellous story! "I'm a Prince," indeed. Born in the knife drawer, were you? Too sharp by half.

The courtship between Irma/Eileen and Argus is beautifully done. Both are IC, both are not prettified, both are so very human and three-dimensional.

And the 'Minerva/Severus it's not quite a romance' in the background is tremendous fun.

Some of my favourite lines:
a whole life in books she could now bring out of hiding and enjoy again. Such a wonderful summary of Eileen’s life and everything she missed.

"I did not," said Eileen. "That is the precise width of Borage's Advanced Potion-Making, which you have yet to return." I think she’ll find Eileen Griselda. Not named Griselda for nothing, either.

"I was thinking of my mum," said Severus.

Minerva flinched. "Well, that was perhaps somewhat inevitable, given the age difference," A vintage Minerva comment.

"I was going to get her out of there, when I was young. When I'd made something of myself with the Dark Lord. Her family wouldn't have her back, but I was going to be somebody, and bring her back, where that Muggle prick she married could never touch her. I didn't expect her to be grateful, but at least she wouldn't be there. Only I never did, and I never will, will I." Great section.

Minerva, quite charitably she thought, did not comment on any family resemblance when it came to making regrettable alliances at the age of eighteen. Another vintage Minerva moment.

"Because I want to keep shagging you," said Severus. "Obviously." He truly is the last of the Great Romantics.

Argus decided it was high time he polished the lecterns in the library, before the start of term. Maybe the brass shelf labels, too, while he was at it. I like a man with a highly-developed sense of duty.

In my experience, a sensitive disposition is a distinct disadvantage in the education of children," said McGonagall. ♥

a copy of Adventures in Transfigurational Theory', the title of which he assumed displayed either a finely honed sense of irony or the total lack thereof. *grin* Great line.

Thank you for a great read! Straight to the bookmarks, this one.

(Reply to this)

pauraque.dreamwidth.org
2013-04-23 08:15 pm UTC (link)

This was excellent! What a clever premise, and very well executed. I really like your young Snape voice. It's always fascinating to see someone's relationship with a parent, because there's an inherent vulnerability to that dynamic that is totally unique. You obviously get that and showed it beautifully here.

All the characters are well drawn but I'm just smitten with your Argus. He is who he is, not whitewashed, but the respect he shows for Irma is utterly charming. When he asked her to cast spells until she'd convinced herself it was okay, I found that very moving. You don't need to be educated to have sharp perceptions about what makes people tick.

Great story, well done.

(Reply to this)

lookfar
2013-04-24 03:03 pm UTC (link)

OMG this is the funniest, sweetest, most satisfying story ever!

I've been sitting here drinking tea and laughing out loud. The "Eileen Prince - Im a Prince - Irma Pince" theory I've only heard once before, and you use it here to great effect. The Eileen-Argus romance feels like an extra bonus track, and your handling of those flinty lovers, Snape and McGonegall, is spot on and skillful.

This is heartwarming:" 'I see," said Minerva. She moved a little closer, and started reading. "I shall remember this the next time I feel like a dungeon holiday.' She rubbed the back of his neck until he looked up and gave her an awkward, crooked little smile." Is the kind of sweetness that made me wish I was Minerva. Without undue hinkiness, you managed to keep reminding me that Severus is only 28 here, and an immature, needy 28 at that.

It's usages like this - "Argus, nearing the unfamiliar territory of a witch's bedchamber, made up his mind to give her the best seeing-to that he possibly could." - that in one sentence convey background and character as well as provoke a laugh with an unexpected usage - that make this story so rich.

Really well done, Mystery Writer. This was the treat of my day.

(Reply to this)

kelly_chambliss
2013-04-25 05:42 pm UTC (link)

Ah, now this is the Beholder I love: dense, meaty stories that take time to build world and character, all the while being fully canon-compliant. You interweave both pairings excellently, with believable parallels and such strong characterizations of all four people (and of Albus, too). You've rendered the main characters so distinctly -- Argus really comes into his own, and the Snape/McGonagall relationship is just the way I like it: snarky, dry, understated, yet tender. And the way you play with mother/son issues (on several levels) is interestingly complex and revealing.

I also love the use you make of the Irma Pince/"I'm a Prince" theory. I first read that idea not long after HBP came out, and I thought it made wonderful sense. Would that canon had dealt with it as well as you have.

So many fun lines, but I particularly enjoyed this one:

There were, she realized, far worse things for a lady of a certain age to do with her summer evenings than go out for a very nice dinner (with an equally nice bottle of wine) on the continent with a junior colleague, one possessed of a certain disagreeable charm, striking intelligence, a sharply-tailored set of dress robes, and a very shaggable arse.
Haha! I do adore a wonderfully pragmatic Minerva.

A very satisfying read.

(Reply to this)

	dreamy_dragon73 2013-04-29 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	I very much enjoyed this. I love you characterisations and the way you show both couples. Lovely story! (Reply to this)

songquake
2013-05-13 05:00 am UTC (link)

This...this is a masterpiece, Mystery Author! I love how you approached everything--Eileen's bitterness, Severus's bitterness, Minerva's no-nonsense, and Argus. Oh, Argus, the most tender-hearted, sweet one of them all! All wrapped up in a gruff exterior.

I loved the conversations, particularly those between Eileen/Irma and Severus. Though they were all good. The ways in which they seemed to fly under Albus's radar made me chuckle.

I also adore how you used the considerable age difference between Minerva and Severus. So realistic! And of course Irma is scandalized!

I'd ask for more, but I really do think this story is complete. Congratulations. And thank you!

(Reply to this)

	farad 2013-05-18 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	What a lovely lovely piece - and what a great idea, that Irma Pince was Eileen Prince! Nice connection! Lovely relationships as well. Thanks for writing! (Reply to this)

	venturous 2013-05-23 07:00 am UTC (link)
	Wow, I've always loved the notion that Eileen was Irma, and brava for making that work so well! Also, your Severus/Minerva is so snarky perfect! You've nailed both Snapes in all their irascible glory. (Reply to this)