I haven't had time to read much of anything due to school and RL but for some reason, the looks of this tickled my fancy, and I remembered that I adored one of your previous stories (Snupin Santa, I think?)
The idea and characterizations are wonderful, but I think the bits that really charmed me (no pun intended) were all the Wizarding details you added, like the spider nesting in Mme Fussy's hair, the belching file cabinet, and the marvelous bits of gossip. The part about Hermione's ill-fated portrait ventures -- she would, of course, be the one to take up that cause -- and debate about Snape's continued existence made me chortle.
This was just delightful, and I'm so glad I paused to read it.