InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Basically peach and cake."

hansel (hans) wrote in hotelhelllogs,
@ 2013-03-16 02:01:00

Entry tags:

!closed, !plot, hansel, phoebe halliwell

Who: Hansel & Phoebe Halliwell
Where: Phoebe's room, 303
When: Friday night, March 15, late night, after [this]
Warnings: none at this time
Ghostly Encounter: Opt-out
Summary: Hansel comes to help Phoebe out since she asked
Status: Closed/Complete

As the days had gone by, Hansel had gotten more and more concerned about the sound of his voice. Speech in general didn't seem to bother him, but hearing himself speak? That was enough to have his heart up in his throat throbbing away. He had found that even his usual small amount of speech was still too much for him. It had been interesting to realize that he could simply---stop talking and be okay. People tended not to notice as long as he gave a meaningful nod every now and again or made a sound of consent or disagreement.

The thing that worried him was that even sounds were beginning to appear wrong to him.

No.

Not wrong.

Evil.

Hansel felt that there was something evil about the sounds coming out of his throat lately. It was enough to have him silent as the grave though he wasn't yet at the stage that he thought he ought to seek out his sister about being put in one. He'd have to wait to see if it got worse before he resorted to that. Hansel liked to fight the good fight and he wasn't scared of dying doing it, but that didn't mean that he was actively trying to die. He had too much living left to do to want to die.

Leaving out of his room, Hansel tapped Rachel's bed to let her know he was heading out. He didn't have to do more than nod toward the door to get his point across. Rachel was a good girl. He'd stopped worrying about the others in their room hurting her, but he still did like staying where she was all the same. There was a peace in hearing another person breathe that couldn't be found any other way. It didn't hurt that she always smelled like the cleanest woman alive either.

He took his device on a whim and was careful to control his breathing as he made his way up the stairs. It seemed that if he breathed too hard sounds came out. Hansel had never noticed that before though it made sense to him all the same. There was never anyone on the stairs when he took them so Hansel was able to hustle on his way from the first floor to the third where Phoebe stayed. He'd never been in her room before, but he had thought on it.

In a friendly way.

Most of the time.

Hansel wasn't the kind to think too often on what a woman's sleeping space looked like as he knew his place in things. He was only human though and sometimes a man was allowed to dream. He had a feeling it'd come as no surprise to Phoebe that she'd featured in a few of his dreams of late.

Knocking twice on the door as he'd promised he would, Hansel waited on Phoebe to answer it, keying on his device carefully: You okay?

It wasn't ideal, but it was better than hearing the sound of his voice. It worked.

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sensethevisions
2013-03-17 09:29 pm UTC (link)

"I like your hands," Phoebe said with a smile as she got comfortable on the mattress. "They're comforting and soothing while at the same time being strong. To me, they're not at all rough and I'm glad that you wanted to hold mine." She read the rest of the message and nodded. "Thank you. I was going to ask if you could stay, but I didn't want to impose on you. I know you'll keep me safe and won't let anything harm me while I'm sleeping."

The space that was around her makeshift bed seemed peaceful and a lot more comforting than her room had been feeling as of late. She knew that it was partly because of the candle spell Hansel had ringed around her bed, but it was also because of the fact that he was there with her. Hansel made her feel safe and cared for and valued. It was mixture of emotions that she was feeling lucky to know. He was aware of who and what she was, but he seemed more interested in the girl that was a witch instead of the witch who just happened to be a girl. That was something that meant quite a lot to her.

As she listened to him getting comfortable on the floor, her peacefulness took a backseat to consideration and concern.

"Hansel, you don't have to sleep on the floor. This mattress is more than big enough for both of us and I can move a little further to the other side if you feel that you need to have space between us. Plus there are extra pillows and blankets around here for when it gets cold."

She didn't want to have space between them, but she had already made the decision that she was going to go slow and not try to ask for anything he may not be comfortable giving right now. She cared about him and liked him and so she could wait.

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hans
2013-03-18 07:55 am UTC (link)

No one had ever thought about whether or not they would be 'imposing' on Hansel. He was, more or less, a homeless mercenary who sold his skills to whoever could afford them and he'd slept on more floors, fields, and forest grounds than he imagined Phoebe Halliwell had ever walked over. The last time anyone had shown him any consideration at all, he'd almost swallowed his own tongue because he hadn't had a damned idea what to do with it.

For the first time since getting himself cursed, Hansel felt glad that he couldn't speak. He used one hand to peck up a message the showed her quick enough: You're kind. I always sleep on the floor. Rachel lets me sleep under her bed. It's nothing.

What wasn't nothing was a woman offering to let him share her bed and he knew that better than he knew anything which was why he tried to think on whether or not he'd said enough to her about it.

Women didn't simply offer a man a bed to share where he was from. Not without it meaning more than what he imagined Phoebe meant. He knew that things were likely different in her world though he couldn't imagine it was that different.

Hansel wished, not for the first time, that he had more experience with this sort of thing. He wished that the only woman he'd ever talked to on a regular basis wasn't his sister; he wished that his mother hadn't been dead before he could have asked her about things to do with women. There were a lot of things that he wished where women were concerned though he knew better than most that wishing wasn't useful to anyone, least of all him.

It took him longer than he'd have liked, fiddling with the tiny letters on the flat surface of the device, but Hansel managed to get something to tell her that was better than how he was used to sleeping on the floor like someone's dog or some kind of slave.

Women tend not to offer to share a bed unless they mean it for more than sleeping. I don't want you thinking I need that kind of offer from you. Expect. I don't expect that. I care. You matter. You deserve better and I'm not a good enough man to keep my hands to myself.

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sensethevisions
2013-03-18 03:44 pm UTC (link)

"Just because you always do, it doesn't mean you have to when you're with me," she said softly, with a smile.

She did wonder why he was sleeping on the floor in a room when there were plenty of beds and empty rooms in this hotel for him to make himself comfortable in one of them. She decided that would be a question that she would ask at some other time. This taking things slowly was a lot harder than she thought it would be. However, Hansel was becoming more and more important to her, so she would do her best. If that didn't work, perhaps she would ask Natasha for advice.

Offering to let him share her bed wasn’t nothing to her, as she did care about him and he was the only one in the hotel she would have made the offer to. She cared about him and liked being close to him. She also liked the idea of him being comfortable, but worried that maybe he didn’t want to be that close to her.

When he handed her the device, she read it carefully and then read it again to make sure she was reading it correctly.

“Hansel, I don’t think any such thing. I know you don’t need or expect that kind of offer from me. I care about you, too, or I would have made the offer. You matter to me a great deal and I wouldn’t mind being able to be closer to you.” She blushed a little, trying to put what she was thinking into better words than she seemed to be able to form at this moment; words that wouldn’t scare him away. “Besides, what makes you think that I’m strong enough to keep my hands off of you? Maybe I’m the one of us that’s not good enough.”

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hans
2013-03-19 06:34 am UTC (link)

Women like Phoebe didn't go for men like Hansel. They were beautiful. They had gifts. Most of them might not have had the kind of gits that Phoebe had, sure, but they had their own gifts like singing or weaving or cooking or sewing or any one of a hundred other skills that would mark them as worthwhile. Any woman of value wouldn't pass her time with him; Hansel felt as if he were being unkind to the memory of Mina saying that, but she'd been as much of an outcast as him or his sister if not worse of one.

It was easy to be an option for someone who didn't have any others. Even Hansel knew that to be the truth.

He couldn't tell her how he was used to sleeping on floors because that was all he could afford or that was as good as it got for him. With his voice cursed as it was, Hansel couldn't even manage to tell her how he felt blessed to be given the chance to pass time with her much less sleep beside her wherever he had to lay his head. It was hard to think on how he could explain, but then it became impossible because she was talking crazy.

Hansel made a low chuckle that he bit off before it could be something more. The sound echoed in the room, snarling in the corners as if it were a demon he'd let loose to take them both to Hell. It stole his breath enough that all he could do was slide halfway up on the mattress so that he could pull Phoebe's hand over farther. He didn't want to tug on her too much or risk dragging her onto the floor with him.

The floor was fine for him. It wasn't fine for Phoebe.

Squeezing his eyes closed for a minute to try to push the fear away from him, blanking out the hated sound of his voice, Hansel took a deep, silent breath before looking at her. It was the first time their faces were even with one another. She was even more beautiful up close and that was saying something.

He held her eyes as he raised her hand to slide it into the high collar of his shirt. Hansel made sure that he could get her hand in the right place until the raised ridges of scars hit her fingers. They weren't -by any stretch of the imagination- the worst he had, but they were the easiest ones to get to and they got the point across.

Hansel pulled her hand up to kiss her fingers lightly in apology before releasing it to take up the device again. He tapped out quicker, Don't think I have anything to worry about. Too much light in here for that.

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sensethevisions
2013-03-19 10:16 am UTC (link)

If Phoebe ever found out what he was thinking about himself, she would probably have some choice things to say to him about it.

When he took her hand and placed her fingers against a line of scars, Phoebe let her fingers slide against them gently. She didn't want to cause him pain with her touch, but she didn't have much time to think on that before he was kissing her fingers and then releasing her hand to take up the device again.

When she read what he had written, she felt a pang of hurt and a little bit insulted. Did he honestly think scars were going to push her away from him? First he had been concerned that his hands were too rough for hers and now this.

She had been trying to hold back and go slow because she didn't want to scare him away from her, but maybe she needed to do a little more to show him that she wasn't going anywhere and that she wasn't someone who would pull away from him because he had scars.

"Hansel," she said softly, watching his eyes as she moved her hand back down to his neck so that she could lightly move her fingers over his neck again. Her touch was feather light at first, but then pressed a little as to massage the muscles beneath those scars. "Hansel."

His name was all she could say at first because she wasn't sure how to find her own words, and she wasn't the one who was having a problem with her voice. She moved closer to him, keeping her hand moving across his neck as she moved from the mattress, pushing it only far enough so that she could stretch out on the floor in the small space between him and the mattress. She didn't want to knock over the candles, only make sure he knew the point he was trying to make.

"I don't care, Hansel. You could be covered in rippled demon-like skin, but that wouldn't be the you I see. I see what's inside you. I watch your eyes and your movements. I see the good man you are and I see how you smile when you think about something that you like." She kept her eyes on his as she brought her other hand up to place against his cheek. "In your voice I hear how important some things are to you and how aggravating the things that you cannot change are. I hear you talk about your world and the things you do and then I hear what you think of the things that surround you here. That is the real you. That you have scars just add to the life that you have lived and they prove that you are, indeed, alive."

She shifted, laying her head against his shoulder. "That is the man I have come to care about."

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hans
2013-03-19 05:24 pm UTC (link)

Talking had always been something that Hansel could have taken or left. He'd never been the kind to chatter on and on unless he'd been drinking and even then it was unlikely he'd go on and on to anyone other than Gretel. It was a strange feeling to realize that he'd give up the protection of his mother's magic to be able to tell Phoebe that no one had ever talked about him that way. No one had ever seen him that way.

Hansel knew his place in life. He was the thing that stood between good people and bad things. That meant sometimes the bad things got to take a bite out of him for the trouble he caused them. Hansel had always thought that was fair; it was all balancing act to see who got the bigger bite. He liked making sure that his bite let the biggest mark since that was how he stayed alive, how his sister stayed alive. They were good for each other, him and Gretel, but even Gretel didn't think about him the way that Phoebe seemed to. He was useful, trustworthy, and driven. Most of the time Hansel figured that translated to Gretel loving him the way that a woman would love her favorite dress.

He was accustomed to being an object with some worth for what that object could do rather than a man. People simply didn't expect him to have thoughts or feelings. Phoebe made him have both and he'd have given anything to share a few with her. In that moment, he'd have literally given everything for the chance to have all the right words and the fucking curse lifted so he could share those with her.

Since he couldn't have that, Hansel settled for getting to be close enough to her that he could get both arms around her and lifting her back onto her mattress. It was a little awkward thanks to the angle, but he knew he didn't hurt her. Hansel was strong. That was one of the few things he had going for him. A lifetime of hunting and violence had left him hard though it had also made sure he had the ability to follow through on what needed to be done when evil came looking for him. He couldn't tell her how she didn't need to be on the floor because he didn't have words and he was sick of that damned hunting and pecking game on the device. Instead, Hansel figured he'd take her at her word.

That was the highest compliment a man could be given in his world: being taken at his word. It was the greatest possession most men had to offer where he lived. The poor didn't have much more than pride and their names; Hansel was fine enough accepting Phoebe's good name in exchange for what sounded impossible to him.

Hansel moved slow and easy onto the mattress with her. It surprised him that she was smaller than him by enough that he could tell where her feet stopped from where they touched his legs, but she had enough presence that she filled the whole world for him. He touched her face with only his fingertips, lightly tracing the curve of her cheek down to the line of her jaw before he reached her chin. He used the softest touch he could to lift her face only enough that he could touch his lips to hers, a touch of gratitude and caring rather than a grand show of passion.

He shifted back enough from her to give her a questioning look. It was easy to take a kiss. It was another thing to get away with it.

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sensethevisions
2013-03-19 11:18 pm UTC (link)

He wasn’t an object to Phoebe. He was a man that she cared about and could see so many wonderful things in and about him. When he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her back up on the mattress, she was worried that perhaps she had pushed too soon for too much, but she quickly dismissed that thought. It didn’t match up with the way that he was holding her close to him. She smiled softly when she realized that he was moving both of them up onto the mattress together. When they got settled, Phoebe wasn’t all that surprised to see that he was a bit taller than her. She was used to being petite and she was gratified that her smallness didn’t seem to bother Hansel in any way. She wished that she could help with whatever had cursed his voice, but she was also glad that he was here – had chosen to be – here with her. She moved closer to him as she closed her eyes, wanting to hold him close and show him by her actions how much she was glad to have him here with her.

Her eyes opened again when she felt Hansel’s fingertips gently touching her face. His touch was soft and she could feel how it was affecting her breathing and her heart in such a good way. She hadn’t felt this way in such a long time. Slow and gentle wasn’t a tactic anyone had ever thought to take with her.

His fingers moving along her skin so gently made Phoebe give him a soft smile. She enjoyed the feel of him touching her, When he tilted her chin up so he could kiss her, Phoebe closed her eyes, enjoying the sweetness of the kiss. When she felt him pull back, she opened her eyes to see him looking down at her. She was confused at the look on his face, but she finally understood the look as him waiting to see what her reaction was going to be.

“I like having you kiss me, Hansel. It felt wonderful.” She sat up only enough to bring her hands to his shoulders and tug him down gently so that he could make himself comfortable on the mattress beside her. “I enjoy having you touch me or kiss me, or move close to me.” She smiled softly. “If I ever do anything that you think is moving too fast, please let me know. I don’t want to do the wrong thing and lose the time I am able to spend with you. I don’t want to lose the chance to have you kiss me again.”

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hans
2013-03-20 07:48 pm UTC (link)

If Hansel had been able to speak, he would have tried to tell her how there was no such thing as too fast in his world. He'd never gotten the chance to have anything other than brief encounters with women who hopefully didn't expect to be paid for their time and who he always tried to be good to even if they both knew they'd never see one another again. Hansel didn't have near to the experience that most women tended to believe he had.

They moved. Traveled. That was how they hunted, how they kept doing the job, and it was how Hansel and Gretel managed to stay ahead of the evil infection spreading witches throughout good people's lands. It was a hard road to go doing what they did, but Hansel knew what he was signed on for doing it. He didn't need anyone to tell him what to expect. He knew that he would have to sacrifice quite a bit for it, too.

For him, that sacrifice included the chance to get to know a woman for more than a night and it ensured that he didn't often spend a night with any woman as he was not the kind of man what wanted to leave a woman in a bad way. His world didn't accept women being free with themselves without consequences. Hansel knew there was the chance that consequence might include a child if he weren't careful. That kept him a lot more careful than most men.

He didn't want any child to be out there wondering why their father didn't love them enough as he himself had done. It was one thing to know now that his father had died for him, for his sister, for their mother; it had been quite another to grow up thinking the man had led him out into the middle of the woods to die rather than raise him.

Hansel moved down onto the mattress, trying to adjust to the difference in the cushioned mat versus the sturdy floor he was accustomed to every night. He found a place for himself in time and chose to take Phoebe at her word a bit more, sliding an arm around her to pull her closer. He had held his sister when they were children. It had kept them both warm at night in the woods. Hansel could honestly say that holding Phoebe wasn't a damned thing like holding Gretel and he really hoped he'd be able to sleep without thinking too hard on how her body fit against his.

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