clare macmillan (clarema) wrote in hotelcali, @ 2016-01-23 15:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | clare macmillan, joel cappadocia |
Who: Clare & Joel
What: Post bow chicka talkin' about relationship stuff
Where: A hotel room in Cabo
When: Backdated to Sunday January 10th
Rating: Bad words
Life was funny sometimes. Clare had told Remy that they couldn’t take a vacation to the tropics during the holidays this year because she was too busy working, mostly on Joel’s book. And now here she was, in the tropics because of Joel’s book. A trip like this was mostly work, but she did get a few hours here and there to relax and at least pretend she was on vacation. It was pleasant, but there was so much book and movie rights stuff coming up that it made turning her brain off in those moments a little difficult.
They were here about those movie rights, actually. Joel was being wined and dined by a studio about his book and Clare was there to take care of the business details. It was such a bizarre situation overall, but the studio was clearly hoping all the perks and amenities would mean they’d settle for a subpar arrangement. That was why Clare’s presence was necessary.
Dinner tonight had been with a few execs and a potential producer to discuss details. The alcohol had flowed freely to help ease negotiations, but Clare had made sure not to imbibe too much. During the meal she had given what she thought was a very persuasive and hopefully successful argument against both whitewashing the lead character in the series and adding a love triangle that didn’t exist in the books. Non-white audiences hungered to see representations of themselves onscreen! They would probably go see a movie with a POC female lead even if they weren’t familiar with the source material! Clare even got a bit emotional describing the way her Chinese-American niece’s eyes lit up with wonder the first time she saw a commercial for Disney’s Mulan. “She’s like me! I’ve never seen a princess like me before!” a young Remy had exclaimed...except she actually hadn’t. Mulan came out while Remy was living in the States, so Clare had no idea what her niece's first reaction to the movie was. She thought it made a compelling anecdote, though.
So dinner had gone well and Clare was both tipsy and in a good mood afterward. She and Joel had gone to the hotel bar to celebrate with a few more drinks and then one thing led inevitably to the other and they ended up in her room together. It had been a while since they’d slept together because Clare wanted to focus more on Joel’s book than his abs, but it was a little difficult to be in a tropical place with alcohol and not be in the mood for some action. Besides, one of the execs from the studio clearly had her eye on Joel and Clare was feeling a tad territorial. If anyone was going to inappropriately sleep with her client, it was going to be her. Clare was much hotter than that exec anyway.
Clare and Joel had fallen into bed multiple times by this point and at varying stages of sobriety, and they both knew what to expect. It was always pretty great stuff, or else they wouldn’t have kept doing it. But this time it just wasn’t good. This came as a surprise to Clare, even though she shouldn’t have been so shocked: as things progressed her drunk mind began to wander and she got distracted by thoughts about Zac. She’d turned down his advances on New Year’s Eve for what seemed like good reasons at the time, but she wished she hadn’t. Funny how she did that when she could so readily decide to sleep with her client. So it was hard to pay attention to Joel, who was an asshole, when she was thinking about Zac, who was a sweetheart. She didn’t even have much heart in her to be very bossy, even though she knew Joel liked it.
So yeah, the sex was bad and perfunctory and left the two of them lying there afterward feeling mildly uncomfortable. Clare was aware the badness wasn’t all on her, however. It takes two to tango and Joel hadn’t exactly been pulling his weight either. She was rarely one to waste an opportunity to be blunt, especially when she was drunk, so after a few awkward moments of staring at the ceiling fan, she said in a flat tone, “Well. That certainly was something.”
Joel hadn't had too much alcohol during the dinner meeting. Look, yes he was an asshole, he knew that, but that didn't mean he was an absolute idiot (about most things). He knew all the wining and dining was meant to make him concede to the execs on the compromises they wanted him to make. Obviously he knew having Clare there was to his benefit, though. He could have gone ahead and gotten completely blitzed through dinner and Clare would have had things under control, Joel totally knew this. But he would have been lying if he said that this particular series of books weren't important to him. It was bad enough being a super white dude incorporating diversity into the stories In a subtle way that didn't make people say he was doing it to smack people in th face with it like a badge of honor for a white dude rather than it just being a normal accepted reality within the universe that has been created. He knew that either way there were going to be countless things people gave him shit for, but there were some things he didn't want them to give him shit for...like suddenly forcing a random love triangle that didn't exist, or the white washing. Those were pretty much the two biggest issues.
Anyway, it wasn't until they were at the hotel bar that Joel allowed himself to indulge in drinking at a more normal rate of consumption for him. He had asked Clare then if what she'd said at dinner really was her niece's reaction to Mulan and had had a good laugh knowing Clare had been so on point and deceptive with her little sentimental act at dinner.
He wasn't at all surprised that they were drunkenly stumbling into bed together when it happened. Well, he was a bit surprised it was happening now since it hadn't for awhile with the book work going on, but, really, this was old hat for them, so not too surprising. He was, however, surprised by his drunk brain's inability to stop thinking about Brand and his sad puppy eyes when he was telling Joel all about being upset and hurt by the stuff that had happened between them over the holidays. And his mouth. Joel's brain kept thinking about that too, which was incredibly distracting while he was trying to focus on the present in bed with Clare. She was much less bossy than normal, which let his brain wander even more, so...yeah.
He was staring at the ceiling and pushing his hair back off his forehead and out of his eyes, wondering how long he should give it before he threw his clothes on and went to his own room. He barely held off a distracted grimace when Clare spoke. Why did she have to do that? His head was swimming with too many thoughts he couldn't quite straighten out as it was anyhow. "Swing and a miss," he murmured without much thought. What was he even supposed to say to that, anyway? 'Yeah, you too, Sugartits!'?
Of course he'd go with a baseball metaphor. Clare continued gazing at the ceiling for a few quiet moments, and then she went ahead and offered, “Were you thinking about your ex as well?” Something she definitely would not have supplied sober, but whatever. She knew Christie had been in town recently and that on top of what Keegan had told her a while back about Joel going back and forth about calling her made Clare think about it. If they were both in the same boat, they may as well commiserate.
Joel let out a startled huff of incredulous laughter at the suggestion. “What?” He asked as his head came up off the pillow when he looked over at her. He grimaced and put his head back down at the wave of dizziness that the sudden move had caused. He moved his leg over the edge of the bed and bent his knee to set his foot flat on the floor in the hopes of keeping the spins away as he rubbed his eyelids with his thumb and forefinger. “No,” he murmured to answer her question, though he supposed it was no stranger an idea than his best friend. Except that his best friend had much different parts than Clare or Christie. “You’re talking about the army guy, right?” Better to talk drunkenly about whoever Clare’s performance distraction was than to drunkenly discuss Joel’s, he figured.
“Air Force,” Clare corrected automatically. She finally turned her eyes away from the ceiling and glanced over at Joel. She didn't know why she tended to have intimate conversations with him when she was drunk, but they'd already set a few precedents in this area so it got a little easier every time. She'd talked to Adri and Remy a bit about Zac, but Remy was heavily biased in his favor and Adri knew enough already about their history. So maybe she welcomed an outside opinion, even though it was an asshole’s outside opinion. Or maybe she was just drunk. Or both. “That's over now though. He’s been back for a few months. For good.”
Joel rolled his eyes beneath his eyelids when she corrected him on which branch of military the guy worked for. He dropped his hand from his face and looked up at the ceiling again. He looked over at Clare and arched his eyebrows. “This is the guy that blew up?” What? Drunk. He was drunk. And dizzy.
“No,” Clare replied with a frown. “Well. Slightly.” She frowned further and then let out a quiet snicker. “He's fine. He has all his limbs.”
“So what’s the problem?” What was that about being blunt when drunk?
Clare snorted again and turned to look at Joel. “It’s complicated,” she replied. “We dated a very long time ago. Probably not the best idea to date someone you were with when you were barely twenty. I don't know.”
Joel smirked at the way she snorted, unable to help it. His brow furrowed and he rolled his eyes. “Make it less complicated, then,” he shrugged, though he didn’t rush to offer her any suggestions for how to do that just yet.
Clare nearly made a snide comment about Joel’s non-helpful advice, but then she remembered that he wasn't obligated to give her any advice and also why was she even talking about this? She let out a frustrated whine and lifted her hands to run them over her face. “It's difficult to tell if I want to be with him because I want to be with him or if I've just missed him and don't want something serious. I don't want to hurt him. That makes it complicated.” She tapped her temple with her finger. “Figuring out what I really want.” And there were other factors to consider as well, but at the moment she spared Joel the list.
"Or," Joel arched his eyebrows. "You're using those as excuses because you're scared of...I dunno, something." he shrugged. "And hiding behind excuses is just easier." He shrugged and scrunched his brow. "Sorry, I mean...it's less 'complicated,'" He air quoted with a little smirk, for once not actually trying to be an ass, just generally offering whatever he thought of the matter. It wasn't like he didn't have his own 'it's complicated' issue at the moment as well. All of the things he just said out loud to Clare could have easily been turned on Joel as well.
Clare let out a surprised laugh and glanced over at him. She hadn't been expecting him to give sincere advice, but she was a little relieved his did after spewing all that stuff at him. “Maybe,” she conceded. After a moment she continued, “Well, yes. I am scared of a few different things, and not all of them are so noble as protecting his feelings. He's been through a lot and is still dealing with that and I don't know if that's something I can take on myself.” She knew it was selfish but she spent a long time in caretaker mode and it wasn't something she was eager to get back into. Not that helping Zac deal with his PTSD was the same as raising a young girl, but it was still going to be difficult.
She lifted her hand and plopped it down on her forehead with a loud sigh. “Sorry. You don't care about any of this, so I don't know why I'm going on about it,” she said with a slight laugh.
Joel shrugged and smirked at her. "I might be just gentleman enough to pretend tomorrow the I was too drunk today to remember this conversation," he turned his head to look back at the ceiling and was quiet for a few moments. "So you'd rather play patient than nurse, huh?"
Clare wrinkled up her nose in distaste and turned to Joel. “I'd rather be neither, thank you very much,” she said with a chuckle. “I don't want to be taken care of. Or take care of anyone. I'd just like to...exist.”
"So, you basically want to be alone?" Joel asked without looking over at her this time. You kind of had to be both now and then to be with someone, right?
Clare frowned a bit. That wasn't what she'd meant, but it was a good question for her drunk brain. She hadn't been alone in a long time. Maybe that was also why she was reluctant to be with Zac? She was quiet for a few moments, considering, before saying, “I don't think I do. But I also don't think of relationships as a...nurse and patient dynamic.”
Joel rolled his eyes and looked over at her. "Don't get hung up on the metaphor semantics." He maybe slurred that last 's' a little bit. "You can't really be with someone without occasionally needing to take care of them and, or needing them to take care of you sometimes." He said. "Quid pro quo and all that," he lifted a lazy hand and gesticulated as he said it. "So, positing," so many S-sounds. "That you don't want to take care of someone and also don't want someone to take care of you - in whatever ways it is you are defining 'take care of' as, the statement that you just want to exist somewhere in the non-caretaker world, means you, at least currently, want to be alone, doesn't it?" he paused a moment and then added, "Barring the occasional drunk screw to scratch the itch," but hopefully with a better outcome than tonight's distracted badness.
It took Clare some long moments to parse what Joel said, and when she finally got it, she furrowed her brow. “Y’know, I hate it when you're insightful about something.” At least, off the page. And in a private conversation with her. She preferred thinking she was smarter and wiser than him in all matters, but especially interpersonal relationships.
Joel couldn't help but grin at her comment. He smirked a bit but then turned his eyes back to the ceiling and sighed. "Give it time, I'm sure you'll fall right back into your superiority complex before the night is through," he said with a chuckle.
“Mmm,” Clare smirked with a quiet laugh. “I suppose you may be right. I do know that my reasoning is at least partially selfish.” And probably some other bad things. “But I'm still reluctant to rush into anything when his life is so uncertain at the moment.”
Joel shrugged. “Well, then don’t, I guess? I think it’s fair to have selfish feelings every now and then in relation to this subject matter,” He said. “It’s not the movies. Not everyone is selfless all day, every day. It’d be inhuman if they were,” He looked over at her. “You’ve probably already used up your fair share of your reserves anyhow.” He reasoned, without any idea why he was letting himself think about these things in an attempt to be helpful. Oh, yes, because he was drunk...and didn’t want to have to talk about the stuff that had distracted him. Right. He leaned up on his elbow as he looked over at Clare. “Wait, is he trying to restart things with you?” He asked as if he hadn’t considered this previously since he had just been focusing on Clare’s side of...whatever.
Well, that made her sound very noble, didn't it? People used to often comment on how brave or selfless or whatever Clare had been for taking in Remy at such a young age. The truth was that Clare didn't exactly have a choice. Remy was her only family left, so of course Clare was going to take care of her. She couldn't abandon her niece. She didn't think that was particularly brave or amazing. She was just doing what any other non-shitty person would have done in her position.
"Not outright," Clare answered, turning her head slightly to look at Joel. "We haven't necessarily discussed it, but there've been flirty comments and the like. Not that those mean anything, but...well, at New Year's there was a moment. We almost...but I shut it down." Her shoulders sank and she brought her eyes back up to the ceiling fan. "We tend to gravitate towards one another when we see each other again, but we were always in the same place for such a short time so there was no pressure to make anything serious again. Things are different now."
“Huh,” Joel laid back down and looked up at the ceiling. “Is different bad?” He asked. “You mean that he’s here permanently and all right and not being shipped back to battlefields, right?” Just to make sure.
"That's what I mean," she confirmed. "And that's a good thing, of course. He's much less likely to 'blow up' again." Though knowing the Macmillan Curse and Zac's proximity to her family, the odds were still there. "I suppose talking to him about all of this would be a start, but he’s got other things to worry about so I don’t want to put too much on his plate.”
“Maybe other things would be a better focus than dwelling on the whole, y’know….blowing up thing?” Joel replied after tilting his head from side to side slightly in thought for a moment. He lifted his hands up as if setting up a scale. “I got blown up and shit’s fucked up,” he lowered his right hand. “Naked Clare,” He lifted his right hand just a bit higher from where it was and then went back and forth with them as if unsure which scale would be better while trying not to smirk at his own clever little joke.
Clare was drunk enough that the joke made her snort and roll her eyes, as opposed to just rolling her eyes. "So happy to see that I rank slightly higher than blowing up," she smirked, resisting the urge to smack his arm because she was feeling to lazy to lift her own. She wondering if Joel was right, though. Not about the rankings, but about the distraction. Maybe worrying about giving Zac too much to worry about was just her making selfish excuses again in the name of selflessness. Damn it. Joel was giving good advice again.
But instead of acknowledging that a second time (the first time was more than he deserved), she turned to him again and said, "But that's enough about my blathering. You're not having Christie problems? I know she was back in town."
“Was she?” Joel really could have cared less whether or not Christie was in town. He hadn’t even assumed she returned for the holidays because he doubted she would have wanted to leave work for some semi-long span of time. And even if she was inclined to do that to visit home, Joel didn’t care. Also he hadn’t been home for much of the holidays anyhow.
“Mmhm,” Clare nodded, not sure if he was purposefully playing it cool or not. “According to her sister.”
“Ah,” Joel nodded. That was right. Clare knew Christie’s sister. Right. “Good for her,” He shrugged. He turned his head and leaned closer to Clare, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I don’t really care,” He announced. The stuff on his mind had nothing to do with Christie and Joel would be okay leaving it that way. He wasn’t sure if he would be okay telling Clare about it. He supposed she might be the least biased party he could talk to about it, since it in fact wasn’t about Christie. Then again, whatever he said could easily be passed to Adri, which would obviously make its way to Christie...so there was that.
Clare didn't have any allegiances to Christie, clearly, or else she wouldn't have been occasionally fucking Christie’s ex-fiancée. Clare was pretty sure Christie didn't like her anyway, and that was long before anything inappropriate ever happened with Joel. Anyway, Clare snickered at his whisper.
“Really?” she whispered in response. She turned a bit and to lean closer to him and continued conspiratorially, “So what's your excuse? Too much anxiety over your impending fame?”
Joel’s eyes migrated back to the ceiling. With a sigh he threw a lazy arm across his closed eyes. He wasn’t even really sure how he should even explain his situation, but when he finally spoke, he did so with the least amount of words possible. “My best friend has feelings for me, lines have been crossed and things are fucking weird.” And confusing.
Clare's eyes widened and she turned more onto her side so she could prop herself up by her elbow. "What? Brand?" Her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of what Joel could mean by ‘lines have been crossed’.
Joel moved his arm just slightly to crack one eye open. he nodded. "That's the one," he said.
Clare arched an eyebrow. "And that's why you were distracted tonight?"
"That's insufficient?" he arched his eyebrows but they were covered by his arm so it wasn't all that effective. Joel wasn't sure how he felt about everything yet, so he was trying to focus on not seeming like he was uncomfortable about this situation and talking about it. But he was, and there were parts of him that thought he shouldn't be and parts of him that were angry that he was so it was fairly frustrating. It was also distracting. He also kind of hated the state his and Brand's friendship was currently in too.
He was doing a poor job of pretending he wasn't uncomfortable by hiding behind his arm. "No," Clare reasoned, "I'm not looking for reasons to chastise you. I'm confused." She wanted to tug his arm away to see his face, but luckily she wasn't quite drunk enough for that. "Do you," she paused for a moment, brow furrowing again, because she had never considered him to be anything other than straight, "have feelings for him?"
"Yeah, me too," Joel murmured. He pushed his arm up his forehead and dropped it to the pillow above his head. "I don't know," he finally answered. "Maybe." Probably. Kinda. Yes.
Clare's eyes flared open again and she just stared at him. Her brain started going a mile a minute, thinking about all the things this could mean for Joel's career. It took her a moment to realize she hadn't said anything in response, so she finally said, "This is unexpected."
Joel frowned at the way she stared at him. Yeah, he had already given fleeting thoughts to that stuff already and decided it was the least important aspect of the whole problem. "Understatement," he muttered, moving his eyes back to the ceiling. He let out a derisive snort of laughter. "Except for Keegan. Apparently it was obvious." he said. "How Brand felt, I mean." Not him.
Clare didn't fully understand his laughter there, but clearly there was a lot going on. "She does live with you both," she offered as an explanation. Clare had never spent much time around Brand so she hadn't noticed anything, but Brand also used to hit on Remy so maybe that was part of the reason Clare never considered it. "Has this been going on for a while?"
“A long time according to Brand,” Joel answered more freely than he was expecting to. “And I’m an oblivious vicious asshole, per Keegan,” He added. “For attempting wingman for both genders rather than noticing.” But seriously, how was he supposed to know!? He wasn’t a psychic! Brand had just told him that he liked dudes too, not that he was in love with Joel himself!
Clare arched her eyebrows, more because of Joel's tone rather than what he was saying. "Well, I wouldn't exactly argue the 'asshole' point, but..." She trailed off and looked at him for a few moments, still trying to work all of this out in her head. "Have you been involved with another man before?"
“No,” Joel shook his head. He didn’t say anything about the asshole comment, mostly because there wasn’t a point in arguing it. He could be. He was. But he generally wasn’t an asshole to Brand, purposefully.
"There's nothing wrong with it," she assured, only because he'd seemed so uncomfortable earlier, hiding behind his arm and everything.
“I know,” Yeah, he was uncomfortable. He had no idea how to wrap his head around all the things Brand had said during their skype call and then in his email. He didn’t give a shit who anyone was attracted to or whatever, but he hadn’t exactly found himself attracted to a dude before. It wasn’t like he’d said any of this to Brand rather than just...talking in circles about not knowing how he felt about ambiguous things. “It’s just...awkward.”
"Because he's your best friend," Clare nodded. This conversation was giving her deja vu, though she supposed Remy's situation had been more like Brand's than Joel's. "And you live with him. I've seen how awkward that could be." Clare tilted her head a bit, leaning it on the shoulder of the arm she was using to prop herself up. "So you've never had a relationship with another man. Have you been attracted to any, though?" Those were two different things after all.
“Right,” Joel nodded. He had forgotten about the whole thing with Clare’s niece and Keegan’s sister until Clare’s comment. “Ahhh...yes,” he said. “Your roommates,” he gave a small nod. He thought about the question probably longer than he should have before he shrugged a bit. “Yeah, sure.” It wasn’t like he didn’t have eyes to know a person was attractive, though he supposed that was a fairly subjective kind of thing in general. He wasn’t sure he consciously ever thought about screwing another dude, though. Well, at least not until this whole situation arose.
Clare arched an eyebrow as she waited what felt like a long time before he answered. When he finally did, she nodded. "How does Brand feel about this whole...situation?"
“Up until we talked on Skype yesterday, he’s been avoiding me whenever possible,” Joel sighed.
Clare furrowed her brow, since she still didn't know the whole story here. "Because of the aforementioned crossed lines?"
Joel snapped his fingers and blindly pointed her way right afterward. “Yes, those. From Christmas.” He nodded. “When we were back home.”
Her right eyebrow lifted again. “And what happened was…?”
“We got drunk and fooled around.” Joel was not blushing (yes he was). Sexual conversations didn’t fluster him. Except that this one kind of did and it was entirely irritating.
Clare had never seen Joel look bashful before and it was extremely amusing. She had to bite into her bottom lip to keep from snickering about it, but it was pretty clear she was struggling. “Oh my,” she said once she was confident she wouldn't burst out laughing. “That is certainly awkward.”
Joel sighed. “Yup.” He tossed the sheets that were around them at her so they landed over her head as he sat up with a groan and looked around in the dark for where his clothes may have landed.
Clare pulled the sheets off her head and reached out to put her hand around his upper arm, keeping him from leaving the bed. "Don't run away," she said. "Some part of you clearly wants to talk about this or else you wouldn't have said anything in the first place." His arm was incredibly nice and she was reluctant to let it go (even though they just established how she felt about Zac, it wasn't as though she was dead) but she dropped her hand and moved to sit back against the headboard.
"Let's see if I've got this straight," she continued, and it was admirable that she didn't snicker on the last word. She began counting off points on her fingers. "Brand has feelings for you. You fooled around when you were drunk. You liked it, I’m assuming. He's avoiding you, probably because he's uncomfortable. You think you may have feelings for him in return, but you're not sure because the idea of being in a relationship with another man is something that is very new to you...and here we are?" Her hands fell to her lap and she arched her eyebrows at him.
Why? Whyyyyy was this the specific situation in which this stuff came out? He stopped a moment when she grabbed him and called him on his retreat. When she let go he was stuck between conceding that, yes, part of him wanted to talk about it (because...really, who else did he have to talk about it with?) and continuing on his plan to retreat just so he could drink any and all alcohol in his room - which was probably a lot because he was sure the mini-fridge had been restocked.
He heaved a heavy sigh and almost groaned when she started like she was going to outline his entire situation. He grabbed his boxers and tugged them on since they were right by his feet and then sat back against the headboard, which would be an easier position to escape from if he still needed to. “More or less, yes,” he pushed his hair back out of his face. It didn’t exactly help that there was about to be a mind-numbing amount of publicity surrounding him, either to add on top of all the things Clare listed.
Yes, this was terrible timing, and if it was going to continue to affect him, that was going to become a problem for Clare. Did he purposefully time all of this just to cause her more headaches? She knew better than to ask that, especially after he'd been all nice and insightful with her own problems. “Setting aside the fact that relationships with roommates always seem ill-advised, what's more of a problem for you at the moment: that he's your best friend or that he's a man?”
Joel’s brow furrowed and he frowned at her, possibly offended at the question? He didn’t fucking know. “Best friend,” He answered without hesitation. “And PR.” He paused a moment and tilted his head as he looked at the end of the bed. “There’d be no way to hide that. His mother would lose her Bible-thumpin’ mind.” He shook his head.
So nice to hear Joel was thinking about his image. “Hm,” Clare furrowed her brow in thought. “That would for Brand to decide if it was worth it though, right?” She was a little too drunk to figure out how to phrase that question properly.
Joel was a sometimes asshole, not a moron. He thought about things. He'd done perfectly well responding to people on tumblr and all that, hadn't he? He had been perfectly reasonable while they had been here in meetings with the execs too, for the most part. He thought so. "I think the potential list of cons might outweigh the potential list of pros, so...I dunno." he shrugged.
“What are the other cons?” she asked. She could imagine, but she wanted to know what he thought.
Joel leaned his head back against the headboard and started ticking things off. "Well, there's the roommate thing, the potential to fuck up a lifelong friendship, having to deal with media related things, Brand potentially getting disowned, which would probably also lead to our families having issues with each other after they've been close for so long..." Plus he didn't really know how it would work necessarily, relationship role wise, but he wasn't about to say the one out loud to Clare. Ever.
Clare nodded. “All important things to consider.” She’d had no idea about Brand’s family, so that definitely was a wrinkle. Though more of one for Brand to consider, but it was significant that Joel was considering it as well. It struck her as funny that he was being so considerate of another person. “You've never really struck me as the pro or con list type, however.” Clare was that type of person. Very practical.
Yes, of course it was for Brand to consider, but that didn’t stop Joel from thinking about it since he had known Brand’s family for so long. He shrugged. “It’s not the first time I’ve weighed options,” he said. “Otherwise, I would have already signed some fancy expensive movie rights deal without caring what they did with the material, right?” He reasoned.
“Hm,” Clare acknowledged. “I wouldn't have let you do that anyhow.” She gave him a slight smile before switching gears back. “How does Brand feel about your concerns?”
Joel wasn’t surprised by that first comment. He shrugged again, though. “I have no idea,” he admitted.
She arched an eyebrow. “You haven't discussed it?”
Joel felt fairly exhausted and not nearly drunk enough for this. He shook his head. “Nope,” he answered. He didn’t think they would discuss it. He wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to bring something like that up. And he obviously hadn’t done a very good job of bringing it up on his own while they were skyping, so. “Doesn’t matter. It’d be too complicated anyhow.”
“So, what? You're going to let it sit there?” It seemed very typically male to her. “That's only going to make the situation worse.” She straightened up and turned to face him better. “I sincerely don't know what to tell you about this situation, which way you should go, but I do know that if it’s distracting enough that you couldn't focus in the bedroom, I'm very concerned about what it's going to do to your focus elsewhere. And I don't just mean this in the ‘you're my cash cow’ sense. In a few weeks your life is going to change in a major way, and that sort of thing messes with anyone’s head, even people whose lives are completely sorted. You don't need this on top of that. I don't know if that means that this isn't a good time for you to think about relationships or not, that's up to you, but I think being in a strange state of limbo with the person who’s best at keeping you grounded is not a good thing. So you should both man up and get past whatever ingrained male stupidity that's preventing you from discussing your thoughts and feelings and figure something out.” A weird speech coming from a nude woman, but once she started rolling she was drunk enough to keep rambling on and on.
Yeah, that was a lot to take in on a drunk brain. “Whoa,” He put his hands up as if in surrender and moved to climb out of bed. “Save your emasculating lectures for your own relationship woes,” He grabbed his pants and pulled them on, making sure his phone and wallet hadn’t fallen out. He left his belt unbuckled and turned a couple times to search for his shirt. “I’m doing just fine with my work, thank you,” He bit his tongue instead of adding, ‘so you can fuck right off with that insult,’ though he didn’t know why he bothered. Normally he would have laughed at her and told her she was being ridiculous and that that wasn’t surprising considering it was her, but apparently this time it just pissed him off. He found his shirt and pulled his arms through it and fastened a couple of the buttons. He grabbed his shoes and went to sit down in the rolling chair by the little desk in the room rather than going near the bed again, so he could pull them on.
Clare heaved a sigh and didn't bother trying to keep him around this time. Instead she moved to lay back down on the bed and pulled the sheet up around herself. She was tired and still too drunk to think of anything productive to say that wouldn't result in them arguing further. Besides, they were leaving the next day anyway.
"You are," she agreed, looking at the ceiling instead of watching him get dressed. "I'd like things to stay that way."
“Course ya would,” Joel pulled himself to his feet and crossed to the door. “Cash cow,” He pointed to himself. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head over it, I’ve got it under control.” He said before he let himself out and pulled the door shut behind him.
Clare didn't lift her head, just let her eyes follow him out of the room. Maybe she'd regret her words more in the sober morning, but at the moment her pride only let her feel a little bit of guilt. One day, when they were both very rich, he would appreciate her often single-minded devotion to his career and image. Of this she was positive. But for now, she was going to sleep.