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Tweak says, "If it weren't for my horse..."

Peter Pettigrew (p__pettigrew) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-04-12 10:15:00

Entry tags:

character: lily evans potter, character: peter pettigrew

RP: Peter/Lily
Who: Peter/Lily
When: after breakfast 12 April
Where: the Great Hall
What: they talk

Thank you for being willing to meet with me.

The words were stuck in his mind. Lily had said it as if Peter even had a choice. How could he refuse such a little thing? The fact that she thought he could spoke more about her goodness than any real choice on his part. On the other hand, he knew that anything he said would sound a million times worse, because she'd been almost an irrelevant afterthought. It had been all about Sirius and James. Still, he owed her an explanation.

He waited until after breakfast. James and the others would go to their 'jobs', but Peter didn't have one at the moment, and neither did Lily. He wasn't trying to hide from James, since he knew that she'd tell him and he deserved to know, but he wanted to have this one first discussion in private.

When they were almost alone, he approached. "Hey, Lily, how are you? Or do you want to walk?" It was still cold outside, but at least the sun was out and they could walk through the long hallways and let the sun shine through the large windows.

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lovingsacrifice
2021-04-16 08:27 pm UTC (link)

"Time is fleeting even when there aren't threats of war of being sent home looming over us. The only thing we can really do is make the most of it while we have the chance to." At least, that's what she planned on doing.

"You could have told me," she responded, frustration in her tone. "You keep talking about James, and how he never listened to you, and yet not once did you come to me with your concerns." She spoke softly, allowing him to hear how hurt she was. "I thought you were my friend, Peter, and that you would have considered coming to me, so that perhaps I could talk to James and remind him that there were certain decisions we should have been making together. We both know how stubborn James could be, and that he would never think of abandoning his friends to whatever fate the Dark Lord had in store for us all. I'm not trying to deny or downplay your decisions, as you said you did what you had to in order to keep your family safe. I just for the life of me can't understand why, after butting heads with James and Sirius for as long as you had, the idea of having a conversation with me never even entered your mind." She wasn't going to comment on the decisions Dumbledore made, because she had no way of knowing why he did what he did.

She smiled sadly. "You're not wrong, although you're leaving out the part where in saying 'you', you're implying that I was aware of every decision my husband made on my behalf. Yes, I took a chance in trusting that my clever husband and his equally clever friends were doing what they thought was for the best. I trusted you, I trusted Dumbledore, I trusted James, and I trusted Sirius. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I know that, however I've never once felt regret over choosing to trust the people I believed were my friends." She wouldn't shy away from taking some of the responsibility, but it would never change the fact that proved himself untrustworthy. "I'll have to think about it, Peter. Like I said, I thought you were my friend, and even knowing your reasons for doing what you did, I need time to digest everything. Thank you, though, for explaining yourself as best you could."

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p__pettigrew
2021-04-16 08:50 pm UTC (link)

The discussion about the fleeting nature of life was forgotten as she kept speaking and her words stopped him short, literally and figuratively. He stood there, frowning. Why had he not talked to her? Merlin, that seemed like such an easy question. "I'm an idiot." The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He should have talked to her because he knew that there was nothing more powerful than a mother's determination. His own mother had proved it, while raising a child as a single parent and with no support in the Muggle world.

"I-" He couldn't seem to make his feet or mouth move. He leaned against a wall, looking at her. "It never occurred to me and it should have been so obvious. Merlin, I'm- God, sorry doesn't seem appropriate here, but I am. The solution was obvious." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. His stomach was tied in a knut. Had it been so simple and he'd missed it because of the Marauders?

"In the past few months, I've realized just how much the Marauders held us back. I don't mean the friendship, but the title, the name. We held on tight to something that didn't exist anymore," he said, shaking his head. "We wanted to be the same. Sirius is basically having a breakdown because people grew up, none of us trusted Remus because he didn't share everything, I was the most obtuse of all, never considering that you could convince James. We kept thinking of us as the Marauders and James just happened to be married, and- I know it's not going to change the past, but I want to do better. For all of us, you included. The Marauders can't be who they were, four plus one. I'm sorry that's how we- I treated you."

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