How long had it been since the titan wars? Since Styx had sworn her allegiance to Zeus and the Olympians, put her children in Zeus' stead and betrayed her husband to his death?
Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Decades?
Styx didn't know. Truthfully, it was not long enough. Every time she managed to pull herself out of her river, out of her pure essence and ascend to Olympus, usually at Zeus' behest, it felt like it was yesterday. The pain gripped her heart when she thought of those she'd turned her back on, especially knowing that her actions set for the series of events that ended the life of her husband -the man she completely and fiercely had loved and the father of her children. She felt ugly, wretched and like she was only a thing worthy of being despised.
Hate hated herself.
It was the best for her children, though. They would reach heights and have lives like they never could have had in the Underworld. Her decision hadn't been a popular one, her parents certainly didn't seem to approve, but Styx knew it was the best decision. Zeus would watch over them, they would serve him, and he swore an oath to keep them safe. He swore on her river and then declared that oaths done thusly were unbreakable. That didn't make her feel any better about it.
The trouble with hate, as an emotion, was that it often consumed the individual feeling it until they became a hollow shell of the individual they were. Hate consumed with self-hatred confined herself almost exclusively to her river. She only left when her presence was requested. Today, Zeus had summoned her and dutifully, she heeded the call.
Her chest was already tight as she left the Olympian King's presence and moved through the grand palace toward the hall that led to the rooms of her children. There were questions, always questions, that burned behind the eyes of her children even if they didn't speak them aloud. Questions she either couldn't or wasn't ready to answer. Today, if she could manage, her visit would be short.