Lottie wasn't sure where all of this was coming from, but it was making her a bit uncomfortable, actually. She wasn't perfect, far from it, and the way Harm was talking it made her feel pressured to live up to this false ideal. That needed to be nipped in the bud. Right now.
“No, not really,” she protested. “I try to look for the best, I don't always find it. And I look for it only because it makes it easier for me to deal with hard situations. I suppose, really, it's a bit like living in denial. As long as I focus on the positive, I can ignore the negative until I find a way to get past it. It's the light at the end of the tunnel, something to work towards. It's how I deal with things.”
It was a lot of honest introspection from a person that didn't like to touch on such subjects. Lottie could, and frequently did, dissect others and their actions in such a fashion. She sincerely disliked doing it to herself. It reminded her of the things she didn't like about herself, and there were many. But she had to. For Harmonia.
“You have to find your own way to deal with the hard things in your life. It'll take some time, and you're going to stumble at first,” Philotes cautioned. “But I know you'll find your balance. That's in your very nature. It's just that this is a lot for anybody to take in, the marriage and becoming a queen, then to throw a baby in the mix on top of that... being a bit selfish for a while is understandable. For a while.”
It sounded like her friend recognized that, so Lottie didn't dwell on the fact that it was time for her to start getting her act together. Harm knew that. What she seemed to be struggling with now was the how. And only she could figure that out. Lottie could give support and advice, but in the end, it would come down to Harmonia. “As for children,” Lottie shrugged and said casually, “I have thousands of them.”