The hands that had gone to her belly to gently try to calm the stirring child within started softly massaging the flesh in hopes to lull the child back to rest. “Shhh,” she said quietly toward her abdomen and leaned into Philotes. She needed to calm down, obviously her unrest was affecting the baby and Harmonia felt something akin to being tenderized from the inside out. She took a few deep breaths in hopes to settle both herself and the baby, and leaned easily into her best friend.
A few quiet moments later, with her head bowed and looking at her belly, she shook her head. Harmonia understood very well what Philotes meant by her not being alone and how she never would be again. It was true to an extent. But other than Lottie, really, Harmonia believed she was very much alone. “I think they've forgotten me, Lottie.” Sure she had palace attendants, a whole City-State of people and a husband; but that was so drastically different than having a mother's shoulder to cry on, to having her sister or brothers to playfully tease her. It was so very different from having someone love her at all. There was no love in Thebes. Not for Harmonia.
There was no hiding the fact: not from the attendants, not from the people of Thebes and not from Cadmus either, that their Queen was in the midst of a crippling depression. Her entire world had been turned upside down and there was no one to guide her through it. “And regardless of whether or not they have, why do I have to ask them to visit?” Her arms stretched out and wrapped around her abdomen as much as she was physically able. “I'm not even sure how much is true and what is what. I don't always know which way is up anymore.” She sighed.
“You know, about six months ago I realized that I'm going to watch this child grow up, have children of its own and then...” Harmonia bit back a sob and turned her gaze up to look at Philotes, “I will never grow old and I will never die... and yet my children will. That is so utterly cruel. Did Zeus send me here to punish me?”
Harmonia sighed and closed her eyes. “I haven't left the palace in months. I can't bring myself to do it. I barely leave this room and most days just getting out of bed is a chore.” What she didn't say was that the only reason she didn't refuse food and wine was because the baby didn't deserve to not get a chance to thrive, but there was no desire for nourishment for herself.