Idun wished she remembered how many taverns she had visited in the last three months. She felt like the number would be important on the day when she finally found Bragi and kept him in that location long enough to talk to him. There were so many things that needed to be said, but even after all this time, Idun knew she wasn't prepared for the conversation. Knowing the number of taverns seemed like a good conversation starter. It seemed like it might buy Idun some time as she internally struggled to find the real words that needed to be said.
But right then, pondering the number of taverns she had visited, that was the middle of the story. Idun had to assume it was the middle, anyway. Three months of unsuccessful searching really didn't suggest that the Norns were smiling on this endeavor, and that truly led Idun to believe that if she was anywhere in this journey, it was still firmly in the middle of it. The beginning was important. It explained why it was so important that Idun find Bragi and tell him about the taverns she'd visited in the last three months.
One day after Idori was killed, Idun learned that he hadn't been killed at all. He was dead, but not because Bragi had decided to murder him. A messenger arrived one day after the terrible day her brother died and her heart shattered, and Idun didn't want to answer the door, but the messenger knocked a second time after enough silence had stretched following the first one. Idun wiped away her tears and went to the door. She opened it. And then she was given a message that Bragi had sent her the day before, right before the crowd formed in a circle around him and Idori slashed at him with his giant axe. Bragi hadn't been trying to kill Idori. His whole plan was to live just long enough for the message to reach Idun and for her to escape, and then he would die. Because Idori's plan was to kill her.
Idun was shocked, but she knew it made sense. As the information was processed, it dawned on her that there was no reality where sweet, wonderful, eloquent Bragi could flippantly take a life. That she could believe that, even for a moment, was terrible. It spoke poorly of her character, and it filled her instantly with regret. Bragi had been willing to sacrifice his own life in order to save hers. In order to buy her time! Idori had bragged about his plan to kill her and steal her orchard, Bragi had overheard, and self-preservation was forgotten in favor of saving someone else. Saving a friend. One day after Idori died, Idun decided she would find Bragi.
That was three months ago. She knew he wasn't in Asgard, but Midgard was a big place and Idun was not all that familiar with it. Starting her search was difficult. And then she found the skalds. After seven taverns, Idun began to notice a pattern. She kept just missing the curly-haired poet who smirked a great deal. Except, the skalds pointed out, this Bragi didn't smirk these days. He was rather somber actually. That had been a devastating piece of information, and Idun almost gave up at that seventh tavern. One of the skalds asked her if she was a fan of Bragi's work, and that question made her smile. It made her nod and ask if they had any idea which direction he'd headed. Even though the information was shaky at best, it was enough for Idun to keep going. This was the god she loved, Idun told herself as the nights grew cold and doubts began to creep in. She had pushed him away because she had been too stunned to listen to the truth, and even if he didn't love her, as a friend, she owed him an apology. Bragi did not deserve the pain she'd brought down on him. The idea of returning the smirk to his face was enough to keep her going.
At the very center of her journey, Idun entered a tavern and was pointed to a man in a shadowy corner when she asked if Bragi had been there. Hope burned a hole in her chest as she crossed the tavern. The Bragi in the corner was a mortal poet, however. He wasn't her Bragi. She didn't even have a Bragi. Idun just...wished. That was all she had left. Hope.