Bragi understood. He understood. Of all the things he could've said, Bragi said the very thing that wouldn't back Idun off this hateful cliff. There were probably several things that might've done it, because Idun truly, undeniably, painfully wished she didn't have to hate Bragi, and if he could convince her not to, maybe that would be okay somehow, even though deep down she knew that wasn't how it worked. He understood, and that didn't make her hate him less. It made her angrier. The kind of anger that was all smoke, no fire. She had to be angry. She had to.
There were just so many things Idun had to do, when all she wanted to do that day was see how Bragi reacted to her declaration of love.
He continued to understand. Bragi said other things, but that was really all he was saying. She had to hate him, and he was being understanding. And how could a bad person do something like that? That was good. It was selfless. It made the tears come harder, made it difficult to remain steady. Idun felt her knees threaten to give out. His hand was the only thing keeping her up, and that was horrible, because she had to hate him. Idun couldn't rely on him anymore. She couldn't look forward to seeing him, she couldn't cringe at the sound of a love letter but secretly replay it later as though it had been offered to her instead. She couldn't do those things anymore.
Like he had heard her, Bragi slid his hand down her arm, and Idun shivered like she would've if Idori wasn't dead and she didn't have to hate Bragi. His touch was back to being his again, not some stranger's, not some bad thing's. His fingers hooked hers and lingered just long enough for Idun to sob again. When he let go, she took a jerky step backwards and wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. She felt sick. Idun knew she probably looked like she felt sick. That was cruel. She had to hate him. It wasn't fair to make it harder for the pair of them by looking sick.
"I hate that you understand. I'm...I-I'm glad you'll be gone." She couldn't even shout. The words were a lie, and Idun didn't lie. Bragi was going though. He was leaving. After twenty steps, he disappeared from sight and Idun's knees gave out. She felt the impact with the ground shooting up her thighs, and as she rocked back to sit, she pulled her legs to her chest and held tight. Bragi's touch was still lingering on her fingertips. She felt sick, but she couldn't shake the feeling. It was just something permanent.
Idun told herself to cry because her brother was dead. If she cried, she could eventually stop crying, then she'd go back to that alley and figure out what to do next.Sitting there, clumped in the dirt, holding herself desperately, Idun cried for the other thing she'd lost that day.
She cried for Bragi. She cried because her heart was shattered.