It would take Idun a very long time to realize that Bragi truly had given her permission, but in that moment, as she leaned in, it didn't matter what she saw in his eyes. All that mattered was that she wanted to kiss him more than she'd wanted to kiss anyone ever. And then he leaned in to meet her, and he overwhelmed all her senses, and Idun was lost. Lost in the perfect way he touched her as they kissed. Lost in him.
She didn't expect him to pull her back as she dropped her hand and moved away. Idun didn't put much distance between them, but she was still surprised when the fingers never left her hair, when his lips found hers again. She might've gasped, but the sound was locked in the warm press of close proximity, and her parted lips only served to make the kiss that much more indulgent. Forbidden fruit. She would've groaned at her own silly thoughts if she could process anything outside of the god before her.
I wish I did. Another kiss. Idun laughed softly, low and warm, when he finally moved away. Bragi might as well have flung himself across the orchard, he moved back so abruptly, but Idun couldn't help but chuckle. She felt lightheaded. She felt giddy. Her lips were buzzing with the memory of his kiss. And then she opened her eyes, saw the words written across his face before he actually spoke them. A sigh escaped, shattering the electric buzz that had surrounded her, but she listened intently all the same.
And then, just as instinct told her to protest against his protests and his goddess and his stupid, stupid paths, logic spoke up and shook her with the nature of what she'd done. Idun had been unfair, not just to herself, but to Bragi as well, to him most of all. She knew he wanted more than what she could give him. He wanted someone's heart, someone's passionate, unwavering devotion. What's more, he deserved it. He was good, at his very core, and good gods were hard to find. Bragi deserved someone bright and passionate and generous. He deserved a goddess who could give him her whole heart. By kissing him, Idun had offered something she shouldn't have, making a promise she couldn't keep.
She shook her head as soon as she realized all this. Idun pushed her lips into a smile and moved her hand over his to offer a light, friendly squeeze. "Don't be sorry. I thought you'd like to remember, but it wasn't my place to make you remember." She took a breath, removed her hand from his, and reminded herself to keep smiling. "I'm happy for you, really. What sort of friend would I be if I wasn't happy for you? Any goddess who earns such lovely praise from a god like you is someone worth pursuing. She sounds lovely."
She couldn't think of another word for 'lovely.' It was a word that tasted like ash on her tongue. Idun kept smiling, and silently wished ill on this random, nameless goddess. She didn't know why. It was shockingly unlike her. But Idun didn't question it. She'd only feel bad if Bragi arrived one day and informed her that his budding romance had been spiced up with a random case of Goddess Baldness. And even then, Idun might find a few reasons to laugh.
"You deserve happiness, you truly do," she said. She was still smiling as she grabbed the apple and the knife again. Her hair fell messily from behind her ear, blocking her face from his view. Only then did the smile falter. "Apple?" she asked, after cutting what remained in half. She looked back at him and realized she really did wish for Bragi to find happiness.
She had no business disagreeing with who he chose to find happiness with.