InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "got the goods but do I got gut"

hdcup_mod (hdcup_mod) wrote in hd_worldcup,
@ 2008-05-10 04:48:00

Entry tags:

fic, pg-13, prompt: the world, round i, team epilogue

Unity - Team Epilogue
Title: Unity
Team: Epilogue
Author: confusedkayt
Prompt: The World
Wordcount: 2,097
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Summary: The world is bigger than England. The task is bigger than a hero. And the time is ripe.
Author's Note: Thank you to my lovely beta, S, and to the very helpful N, and L for their zillions of contributions.

Unity

For a description of teams, please see our FAQ.

Poll #1642
Open to: All, results viewable to: None

Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

viridescence
2008-05-15 09:38 pm UTC (link)

This was a lovely start to a story, but it just stopped before the plot or the characters (and their motivations) could be developed. I'm left wondering what the point was. Draco asked Harry to visit his mother before she dies, and we don't know if that will happen or not, and then Harry hired Draco to work for their international group for no other reason than he wanted some companionship(?). And Draco hugged Harry for no reason other than he's wanted to for a long time, but we don't know why, nor do we know what Harry thinks about it. Or what he's feeling about the whole encounter in general. It doesn't feel anywhere close to being finished, more like it was just getting started.

And it was such a lovely start. The descriptions of Egypt, the heat, the food, the atmosphere, the beautiful use of language. The hints of a good plot and angst involving dealing with Narcissa's pending death, the hints of more plot, angst, and developing a relationship between Harry and Draco as they travel together. The whole idea of the Worldwide Wizarding Unity Project and what they are trying to gain unity on. I was really starting to be sucked into the story, the whole universe you created, and then it abruptly stopped. I feel like I missed a step on a staircase and have half a mind to ask if somehow the rest of the story got accidentally deleted.

I think this could be a brilliant story if developed further. You've set up so much that you could work with. I don't understand why the story was so short, when it feels like there should be more to it. I loved what I read, though, which is why I feel disappointed that the story didn't play out.

(Reply to this)

(Read comments) -