InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I have a proposition for you."

hdcup_mod (hdcup_mod) wrote in hd_worldcup,
@ 2008-04-13 14:36:00

Entry tags:

fic, pg-13, prompt: the hierophant, round i, team ewe

Best Interests - Team EWE
Title: Best Interests
Team: EWE
Author: pikkalam_sri
Prompt: The Hierophant
Wordcount: ~ 10,000
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Andromeda's death leaves Harry to take care of little Teddy Lupin. What will he do when Draco Malfoy comes looking for an heir?
Disclaimer: All characters and settings are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: The Hierophant: Upright = tradition, ritual/routine, religious authority, formal education. Reversed = poor counsel, slander, unconventionality, rejection of family values. Many thanks to JL for acting as my beta.

Best Interests

For a description of teams, please see our FAQ.

Poll #1396
Open to: All, results viewable to: None

1. Is the author/artist true to their team? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)

2. How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

3. How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)

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greenjuly
2008-04-14 05:40 am UTC (link)

Hey, nice story! I really liked the premise here; although does kind of go against their canon-selves, it’s plausible that Narcissa & Draco would want to gain custody of Teddy.
That said, the fact that they would go to the trouble of adopting Teddy, yet that Draco wouldn’t procreate for the sake of the family ... this doesn’t really add up to me. Your fic could have used a little more backstory to explain this inconsistency.

Overall I thought this was an enjoyable fic and pretty well-written. I do think that it would have benefited greatly from being expanded, though – even to twice the length it is now. To me, this felt like a story about family that you tacked Harry/Draco onto for the purposes of this challenge. I was personally a lot more interested in the family dynamics than the H/D aspect, which seemed rushed and rather arbitrary, and not as well written as other aspects of the story.

This exchange was brilliant :

"My son," she inhaled sharply through her nose, "is an invert."

Harry stared blankly for a moment. "He's...shy?"

She cleared her throat and started again. "He prefers to spend his time in the company of other men."

"Sure, who doesn—oh...Oh!"

Hahaha! It kind of reminds me of that Simpson’s episode with John the gay guy. (Marge [meaningfully] : “He prefers the company of men!” Homer [cheerfully] : “Who doesn’t?”)

Although I do see Harry as being rather clueless about relationships, I probably would have written the ‘proposal’ scene between him and Ginny differently – with the same net result, that she wasn’t ready to settle down, but with him not making so many assumptions right off the bat. This is a pretty minor quibble, though : I realize that the main purpose of the scene was simply to get Ginny out of the picture. And I appreciated that you made her likeable.

I loved Susan Bones! Wow, she was all kinds of awesome. This makes me want to go and write susanfic.

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