Title: Be My Slytherin Valentine (Harry Potter Style)
Author: sdk
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Harry/Severus
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack
Length/Word Count: Ficlet, ~300 words
Warnings: Silliness
Summary: Harry expresses his feelings with a very special Valentine's Day card.
Notes: This is the product of my first brief night with the slashchat ladies. IDK, there was some talk about bad manips and Severus with a mullet and a pornstache (blame torino10154 and accioslash) and then alisanne said I should write more Snarry and I decided if I was going to do it, there had to be a mullet and a pornstache. Thus this ridiculous ficlet came to be. Just pretend it's seasonally relevant, y/y? Thanks to torino10154 for looking it over and confirming its ridiculousness.
Disclaimer: The following is based on fictional characters that I don't own doing fictional things in a fictional world that I didn't create. No copyright infringement intended, no money's being made.


Be My Slytherin Valentine (Harry Potter Style)

Severus was not pleased.

His expression never changed, but Harry knew him well enough to spot the subtlest signs of discontent as he slid the card out from its envelope and gazed at the cover Harry had specially made. It was an image of the two of them together, though with a few alterations. Severus sported a thick black mustache and a mullet while Harry was nude at his feet, a leather collar fastened around his neck that was attached to a coil of chain, which of course Severus held.

It was hopefully enough to soothe Severus' temper (though not quiet it completely), and Harry had gotten a fair amount of teasing from George when he requested the image.

But it was worth it, just to see the slight tic in Severus' cheek. He opened the card and a voice rang through the flat.

"Roses are red, violets are blue
Harry loves Severus, and anyone who doesn't like it can eat poo!"

Harry stifled a grin. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Severus didn't speak for a long moment; his lips tightened to a thin line.

"I told you I did not wish to celebrate this infernal holiday." His fingers gripped the card as he flipped it closed and cut his gaze away from the cover.

"I know," Harry murmured.

"You've been spending too much time with those abominable Weasleys," Severus muttered. With a flash of his wand, he transfigured the plushy sofa he sat in to a straight-backed armless wooden chair, then slapped his knees.

"Strip, and take your punishment."

Harry allowed a sly smile to escape his lips as he hastily pushed down his trousers. After all these years, Harry still knew how to get what he wanted.



-Fin-







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