(1) I honestly took no offense. No need to apologize! (2) I’m not going to say what you did wasn’t wrong. She has every right to still be angry with you (3) but grief is complicated and makes us behave in ways we normally wouldn’t. It’s not a free pass but it’s something (4) but instead of berating yourself, talk to her. Her opinion is ultimately the one that matters. She’s the one who gets to define the situation and determine if you deserve some form of forgiveness, not you. It’s not really fair to her to assume how she feels (5) for better or for worse, people can forgive a lot, especially for those they love so maybe she doesn’t see it as unforgivable (6) or maybe she wants to wants to yell at you or tell you how terrible she felt in order to get some kind of closure. (7) either way, I think you owe her at least an apology and an offer of a conversation, for her to accept or refuse (8) personally though? I think a willingness to be there for her now counts for something