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darling clementine ([info]neattrick) wrote in [info]gooseberry,
@ 2017-03-08 11:07:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:! journal, clementine decourt

GOOSEBERRY QUIDDITCH:

ALRIGHT, GOSLINGS. We're in the home stretch.

I'm proud of you and we're all doing super well. Reid, Ana, Chris, Sy, you all did great in the last game. I know everyone's nervous about TALENT SCOUTS but you don't have any reason to be because me and Leo lost that game and we still looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. Anybody's gonna be impressed with us and we're gonna set a standard for Gooseberry going forward.

Going into the game I want everyone to reflect on our biggest strengths and weaknesses as a team. HERE'S MINE: there's no way they care more about winning than we do. I know you assholes and you're some of the most passionate people I've ever had the pleasure of throwing quaffles at in my life. keep that fire in your bellies FOREVER or at the VERY LEAST until sunday

One of the biggest drawbacks for us is that we don't know how Ilvermorny plays like we know how each other play. A few of us have worked with the coach at Ilvermorny or played with or against some candidates for their school team, but they let their captains have as much strategic control over their teams as we do here and it's been long enough that that won't mean much. The best thing we can do for this is 1) Go in STRONG and throw them off their game before they can do that to us and 2) BE PREPARED TO CHANGE OUR TACK WHENEVER, so REVIEW YOUR PLAYBOOKS. We're not going to have any time for confusion or clarification once the clock starts.

[ A full schedule of practices is included here. Sorry, it might step on some of your guys' clubs. Complain at your own risk, because Clem has helpfully titled this timetable There's no crying in Quidditch! in sparkly purple ink. ]


🔴 YOU SHOULD BE DRINKING 72 OUNCES OF WATER A DAY
🔴 DO NOT SKIP COOLDOWNS YOU'LL PULL SOMETHING
🔴 Eat Carbs, Fresh Fruit
🔴 EXTRA POSITION PRACTICE AFTER REGULAR PRACTICE
🔴 TODAY: chasers
🔴 TOMORROW: keepers/beaters/seekers
🔴 FRIDAY: just a whole extra practice
🔴 RESERVES I booked the pitch for an extra practice specifically for you friday also but you have to come to position practices too

Practice on Saturday is only going to run to Lunch because there's going to be a MANDATORY TEAM SHINDIG on Saturday afternoon. Yes you have to come. Yes all of you have to come, including reserves. NO THERE WILL NOT BE ALCOHOL. NO DRINKING ALCOHOL FOR THE NEXT 100 HOURS

After the MANDATORY SHINDIG please try to get TEN HOURS OF SLEEP.

DON'T
participate in strenous physical activity
get detention for bullying
drink alcohol (OR ANYTHING BESIDES 72 OZ OF WATER A DAY)
red meat

If you don't get 10 hours of sleep or your sleep is restless, try to take a 20 minute nap two hours before we play. this will make you SHARP and ON THE BALL which you all need to be. ESPECIALLY YOU, REID.

LAST ORDER OF BUSINESS: which two of you are the tallest


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 12:49 am UTC (link)
Okay, but you are a beautiful genius. Quid Pong is gonna be a national party sport after you graduate. You need to patent that ASAP when you get out for spring break.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]stokers
2017-03-09 01:09 am UTC (link)
Yeah? You don't mind the whole "whoever catches the Snitch automatically wins because international rules are bullshit" thing?

...Although honestly, I just stuck that in to get people drunk faster.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 01:32 am UTC (link)
No, I think it's funny because it's a nod to just how bullshit the international rules are. No matter how hard you try, your efforts are insignificant because the stupid golden hummingbird is worth 15 of your hard-earned goals. Like, yeah, our job as Chasers is to score goals and earn points but in international games, we're mostly there for crowd entertainment until the Snitch is spotted and people focus on the Seekers racing to catch it. People go fucking nuts over ANQ's Harlem Shuffle move, but mechanics-wise the amount of effort to the amount of points it earns (20) makes it a complete waste of time and energy. Except it's not a waste at all because that performance draws crowds in and builds hype for their team.

I mean, you can't be a trash Chaser because if your team's 16 goals behind you're still gonna lose even if your Seeker catches the Snitch. But the Snitch is still bullshit and can let a garbage team win if they're 14 goals behind.

Wow, tangent.

Anyway, I like the Snitch and there's actual strat of trying to score goals and making the other team drink because it gets them fucked up and less coordinated and it lowers their chances of catching the Snitch.

And I like getting drunk faster.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]unresponsive
2017-03-09 01:34 am UTC (link)




Yeah. All of that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 01:43 am UTC (link)
Foreign Snitches Are Stealing American Jobs: One Chaser's Struggle with Feeling Trivial. A novel by Levi Kramer.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]unresponsive
2017-03-09 01:48 am UTC (link)
With international rules it's like... I might as well be playing alone. Then what's the fucking point.

Whatever. Being a Chaser's too hard anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 02:12 am UTC (link)
Yeah, but nobody'd travel halfway around the world and sleep in tents just to watch two fucks go after a Snitch. Chasers are 75% crowd entertainment, the rest is keeping up with scoring goals to secure a Snitch win. You have to balance entertainment and goal scoring and try to mesh the two together to keep the crowd entertained and the ticket and merch sales up. Hence: The Harlem Shuffle.

But for American teams, you have to be really good at both because your play style and focus switches whether you're playing American or International. Canadian Chasers have it worse, though. Theirs is a beautiful blood bath mid-air by Canada's rules.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 02:13 am UTC (link)
I mean

teams with shit chasers can still fall behind in season placing even if their seeker catches the snitch every game

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]stokers
2017-03-09 02:19 am UTC (link)
Yeah, exactly? Your league ranking is the cumulative score, not the number of times you win. Obviously getting the Snitch every game is a huge boost to a team, but if your Chasers are shit, you're never gonna break the top three.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 02:28 am UTC (link)
For instance we're still 20 points up on you after that match.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]stokers
2017-03-09 02:37 am UTC (link)
You think we can't beat Ribbonfin and Azurcrest again? Just fuckin watch us. The Cup isn't yours yet, Decourt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings - [info]neattrick, 2017-03-09 02:44 am UTC
Goslings - I'M SORRY PLS CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, I DON'T UNDERSTAND SPORTS.
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 03:06 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I mean you can't have shit Chasers or your fuckarooed either way. Even if your Chasers are great at showboating and riling up a crowd, you're not going places if they're not scoring enough goals. And goals are important in QWC qualifiers because you can earn up to 5 extra qualifying points if you win by 150 points or more plus the default of 2 for just winning. So it's even more important to try to match the other team's score so you earn that boost. You have to be good at both, but depending on which rules you're playing by and where you're playing sometimes the Chasers are more important than the Seekers and sometimes the Seekers make the Chasers' efforts seem trivial. But once you're finally competing in the first round in World Cup, it goes by bracket and wins are more important than how many points your team earned and your cumulative score from previous rounds doesn't really matter in the finals as long as you win.

I actually like the QWC qualifying point system better, if they'd knock the Snitch down to a reasonable 50 points to make wins more meaningful, because there are a lot of factors that alter cumulative score. Like, what's stopping two teams from conspiring to let goals "accidentally" go past their Keepers to boost both their cumulative scores? Then there's other factors like what if a Niffler steals the snitch? and the game is based on how many times a team can score before the time limit vs. how many times a team can score before a Snitch is caught.

[...]

A novel by Levi Kramer.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 01:35 am UTC (link)
Being 16 goals behind probably happened more often when matches ran for 24 hours on the reg.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 01:45 am UTC (link)
I would purposefully fall off my broom at the 10 hour mark so I could go eat and take a bathroom break.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 01:50 am UTC (link)
watching the players shit themselves was probably part of the entertainment

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 01:56 am UTC (link)
I wonder if they had poop chutes built into the seat of the broom?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Goslings
[info]magicnumber
2017-03-09 01:58 am UTC (link)
Oh man, if you were drinking the assigned amount of water how could you even make it ten hours???

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]idfk
2017-03-09 02:00 am UTC (link)
Catheter.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 02:00 am UTC (link)
EVERYBODY REMEMBER TO PEE BEFORE THE GAME STARTS

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]doyouevenlift
2017-03-09 02:01 am UTC (link)
AND IF YOU DON'T

TRY TO PEE ON THE OPPOSING TEAM IF YOU GOTTA GO

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]magicnumber
2017-03-09 02:02 am UTC (link)
.... Do you think that's a foul?

Is it in the rules?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]unresponsive
2017-03-09 02:03 am UTC (link)
Bet it's in the rules.

The game's old and weird. Wizards are old and weird.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings - [info]magicnumber, 2017-03-09 02:04 am UTC
Goslings - [info]unresponsive, 2017-03-09 02:14 am UTC
Re: Goslings - [info]idfk, 2017-03-09 02:15 am UTC
Goslings
[info]neattrick
2017-03-09 02:02 am UTC (link)
that's a foul

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Goslings
[info]unresponsive
2017-03-09 01:32 am UTC (link)
International rules are bullshit. You need to be drunk to think they make sense.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Goslings
[info]qnnc
2017-03-09 01:33 am UTC (link)
Truer words.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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