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Diego Morales is a leaky indie folk faucet. 💧 (morale) wrote in gooseberry,
@ 2016-12-29 10:10:00

Entry tags:

! journal, cecil honeychurch, diego morales, ravinder dhaliwal

Written after Ravi goes home.
I feel like shit today. I might be catching something, so here's your warning: no one let me into kissing games when we go back to school next week. Keep your lips off me.

[Warded to Cecil]

I saw you writing comments so I know you were reading it.

Are you okay, man?

[Warded to Ravi]

Thanks for coming. I had a lot of fun. I'm kind of disappointed it was just one night, but we might have ended up completely hating one another, so it was the best plan at the time. (You weren't just pretending not to hate me, right???)

Also I wanted to say that... I'm glad the anon post didn't completely ruin things. It was easier being with a friend. So I'm glad we got to hang out during it.

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Diego/Cecil

choneychurch
2016-12-29 09:19 pm UTC (link)

I wasn't for most of the night, but Levi started glancing through before we went to be sleep so I did too. I [...] honestly hate that it's like this. The Anonymous Post is a good opportunity for us all to connect to each other, but it always turns into bullying and antagonizing instead.

But. Yeah. I'm fine. I don't like to read things like that about Levi and me, but it doesn't bother me like it used to. I believe in what we have and I believe in Levi; I don't care if the whole school thinks he's going to cheat on me or that I'm too boring to keep him happy or that it's 'only a matter of time' because we don't make sense together. Because it's our relationship and nobody else has to understand it. You know?

[...]

I'm sorry, Diego. I know this isn't something you want to talk about. But I'm all right and you don't need to worry; that's all I meant to say.

[...]

How're you doing?

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Diego/Cecil

morale
2016-12-29 11:27 pm UTC (link)

I have this theory that the first few big topics set the tone of the rest of the post. So, like, next time, I'm going to try and take control of the post. Write some nice things. Get some good stuff started. I can't stop people from being assholes but I'm pretty sure I can soften the blow.

Anyway. [...] If I didn't want to talk about it I wouldn't have asked. And I am worried, sorry. You can't stop that. [...] Look, I can't lie to you, sometimes I don't get you and Levi either. I mean, not nearly to the degree or for the reasons that some people don't get it. I hope you believe me when I say that. But if you're happy then that's all that really matters. I guess I'm just [...] protective of you? I don't want you to think it's a jealousy thing. Ugh. I'm sorry.

Oh, me? I'm good. I'm fine. Ravi got kind of fucked up about things too but we just did other stuff once we realized the anon post got bad and both of us were upset. I tried to do the whole SAY SOMETHING NICE thing but by then he wasn't even reading it.

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Diego/Cecil

choneychurch
2017-01-01 04:28 pm UTC (link)

That's a good idea and definitely worth trying. You're right that we can't stop anyone from being nasty if that's their aim, but having that not be the first thing that people see could go a long way.

I do believe you, Diego. And I understand wanting to take care of your friends; I'm lucky to have someone that cares about me as much as you do. But I don't understand what's so difficult to get, honestly. Levi and I are different, but being different isn't always the same thing as being incompatible. Maybe it's hard to see from the outside, but we just fit. And I am happy. [...] And I trust him. Even if it seems like nobody else does. I know he won't cheat on me. I know he won't hurt me. If this doesn't work out, it won't be because of anything like that. You don't need to protect me from Levi.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I know there was no shortage of cruel things written this time, about both of you and about everyone else. I'm not surprised that Ravi took it hard. He's one of the kindest people I known and he always tries so hard to keep anyone from getting hurt by that mess. But I'm glad you were together and could help each other through it. [...] I hope that didn't ruin your visit with Ravi, though?

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Diego/Cecil

morale
2017-01-02 12:04 am UTC (link)

I guess we'll find out, huh?

I don't think you need protecting from Levi, that isn't what I mean. I don't think he'd actually do anything. I know he wouldn't. He loves you, you love him. And being different's not bad? But... Okay, for instance, if Levi were dating Mina (ignore the logistical improbability of this scenario from all angles) there are some [...] things he says that I'd have a hard time with.

He wanted to fight for people, and that's admirable. He was angry more than hurt. People were kind of shitty to him when he said who he was, and the whole thing about being the #1 repressed student, but like... the worst I got was being called a mess and "easy", and that's not exactly off base.

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