InsaneJournal

[posted this evening, before the party starts]
[Warded to Grotto Party. YEAH I KNOW THIS IS VAGUE but let's say you can see this entry as soon as you enter the Grotto tonight.]

QUIDDITCH BEER PONG RULES
Yeah it's another fuckin list but there's no fuckin sparkles on this because I don't do sparkles. (Which means like half of you are gonna write comments with sparkles, so FYI I see it coming and you're not fuckin funny.)

1. 2v2. Switch off who drinks in your team. Or don't, like I give a fuck.


2. Basic beer pong rules: Each team has 10 cups of beer arranged in a triangle, on either side of a table. You throw a red ping pong ball (the Quaffle) across the table, and if it lands in your opponent's cup, they have to drink it. Keep going until loser has no cups left.


3. If you're not a fuckin wuss, you fill your cups halfway. If you are a wuss, you can go one-third. Everyone agrees on how much before the match.


4. You got three yellow goal hoops in the center. If you shoot the Quaffle through a hoop and land it in a cup, then opposing team has to drink two cups. If you land the Quaffle in a cup without going through a hoop, it only counts for only one. Bouncing off the table only counts for one.


5. If the opponent's Quaffle goes through the hoop, then it becomes a Bludger and you're Beaters and you can fuckin knock that ball out of the air with your hands. Yeah it's like a goddamn game of skill now.


6. Speaking of fuckin skill, wrists can't cross the edge of the table during a throw. Can't block your cups in any way unless the ball goes through a hoop first. Can't use magic to help, quit being a fuckin cheater.


7. Sanitizing charms on the Quaffle before you throw it. I mean, I know it's fuckin gross anyway, but make it less gross, dude.


8. If everyone takes too goddamn long to finish the game, a mini Golden Snitch will get randomly released and fly around for a few seconds. If you catch the Snitch, other team has to finish their cups and they automatically lose, because this is international rules Quidditch and nothing fuckin matters except the stupid Snitch.


9. Winner plays the next team who puts their names on the list. Decide who goes first with rock-paper-scissors. GOOD FUCKIN LUCK BEATING TEAM STOKER & STOKER, ASSHOLES.