Here's an idea how to handle you mom and the thing with Sarah...don't tell her. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. She and my mom can keep planning the wedding that will never happen between the two of us. They can be blissfully ignorant to the fact that you want to bump uglies with a Catholic and I'm not coming back to the faith.
Well she wasn't really in my crowd, like I knew of her and saw her around but I never thought, 'oh she's cute I should introduce her to Toby because I can read his mind suddenly and I know that he would be down dating a non-Jew.'
...Don't count on it, you mom keeps inviting me to celebrate Seder with you. Yeah no thanks I'd rather drive a hot poker through my eye...no offense or anything just not my bag anymore