Eisen forced himself to look at Lexie as she spoke. It was hard, he wanted to close his eyes, lower them, look away from her somehow, but he deserved it. He deserved to see the pain on her face. For however sure he was that he loved Rory (which, as their hands were linked he realized was way more than he’d thought the night prior), he knew that he needed to memorize that pain, that he deserved to have it haunt him like it undoubtedly would. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and didn’t even bother to wipe them. This was shame unlike he’d ever felt before.
Lexie’s words were like a slap to the face. He winced, but didn’t look away. “Lexie, I…” he stumbled, swallowing thickly. “I know it doesn’t mean anything but I did… I do care about you. I just…” he finally turned his eyes to look at Rory, unable to hide the love that shined in his tear-filled eyes. He didn’t finish the sentence, though, because no way that he finished it could possibly be good for the situation. “I really am sorry. I… I never meant to hurt you,” he choked out. He knew that it would be ineffectual, that she wouldn’t care, but he had to say it. “But I did.” I deserve no less than what happens to me because of this… he thought. No doubt McDermott would have a vendetta against him now.
As soon as the bedroom door closed, Eisen exploded. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he turned into Rory, burying his face against his best f- no… lover’s chest. “I’m suh-sorry, Rory,” he whimpered. “I’m suh-so sorry… I love you.”