log: Rosie & Phil. Who: Rosie and Phil. What: Rosie's watching TV and Phil comes in to try and be mean to her. HE FAILS, and gets her talking about her family. Then he removes a splinter from her hand. AND THEN? Then he gives her a piggy back to her room. Where he ends up staying. Phil can't be mean to Rosie. At least they're friends again. When: Backdated to Sunday night! Rating: pg-13, Rosie has a dirty mouth.
Mother's day is a sad day. Rosie did in fact call her mom and wish her a happy one. She may even of sent flowers. But it is still depressing and Phillip hasn't helped. Now she is down in front of the community television, wrapped up in a giant blanket and watching the newest installment of Survivor. This time they are in Atlantis! And Jeff Probst's son is the new host and is pretty darn good looking by Rosie's standards. But he isn't evil enough. Boo.
Phil peeked his head in. The TV was on but he didn't see anyone. He smelled someone, though. Someone .. he recognized. Ugh. "Rosie, go to sleep!" It's late, girl.
Rosie stuck an arm up above the couch and flipped Phil the bird. She recognized that voice! Ugh indeed. "Go away, Phil."
What is it that Rosie does when she isn't wanted? When she appears to have said something offensive? She trudges on! Phil decides to give her back what she's been giving out. He takes a leap up over the couch and hopes he doesn't land on anything fragile.
The only fragile thing he lands on is the television remote and under the weight of his bum it goes from Survivor to something else. The Children of General Hospital. "Phil..." Rosie whines, but throws her feet into his lap so he can't leave. Even if she doesn't want you right now, she'll take you.
He holds his hands out like 'ew' but then just lets them rest on her ankles. He's ... strangely comfortable with her now. Nothing is expected. "SO. Your mom."
Phil is her fag, and she is his hag. "What about my mom?" Rosie shifts and pulls her blanket tighter. "And her name is Cessily, not mom."
"Cessily. That's pretty. Wasn't she a Hellion or whatsit?" He took a bit of X-Men History in grade school, when he was actually attending classes at this crazy place.
Rosie nods, "She was." That team is kind of like her family, except not really. Despite her father being, you know, Hellion. "Why're you interested?"
"Interested because it apparently annoys you, my sweet." He drums on her ankles a little with his fingers. "Why don't you call her mom? What do you call your dad?"
"Don't have a dad, Phil. I thought you knew that." Well, she has one, but... She shrugs, "Well, he's more Elena's dad, not mine."
"Mmhm." He gets it now. "How long have you been here, again?" He forgets these things.
"Oh on and off since I was fourteen," she's one of those rebels who came for summer school and junk! "It depended on my mood."
"I don't remember you." Is this his way of being mean? Or is he serious? "You take after your father, don't you? He has TK too?"
"I wasn't really obvious?" It's OK, Phil. Rosie doesn't mind. "Yeah, I take after my sperm donor. It seems to be kind of popular here. You have your dads', Joanie has her dads', Duckie has Warren's... kind of weird."
"Well, my mom was human. I don't have all my dad's. I can do more than he can." Thank you very much, ya jerk. Hank can't do the full spectrum of emotions in pheromones. Frowning, prying on, "Good thing you're not a metal puddle like your mom. --Yeah, I think I would remember you. Sure you were here? Do you remember me?"
"And you're not blue." That part is super important. Rosie gives him a gentle kick to the chest, smiling. "I was here, and I kind of remember you. I was more enamoured with everyone else though. You were-- are --kind of a dork."
"OH I see how it is." Phil... don't you dare flirt. "I am not a dork. You're a dork. Your face is a dork-- Your mom's a dork." He has you there.
"Phil, you just called me, my face, and my mom a male whale's penis." Sorry, she is not feeling flirty. Not with her fag, at least. "I hear Jack has a whale's penis."
Phil chokes on his own spit. AIR, NOT SPIT, PHIL. "Uh. Well."
She laughs, "May told me. It's all right."
"It's really none of your business." He's coughing still a little bit. This is too weird. It's ... ok, it's not TOO weird. That was talking to Heath about Rosie the morning after he slept with her. This? This is... kind of fun.
"Nah, it's not. But you're sleeping with a guy who has a huge dork." In more ways than one!
"Yeah, so what?" Fine! He admits it. Sort of.
"I'm proud of you, Phallus," Oh, she went there. "Cessily artificially inseminated herself and I was a miracle baby. She spent a lot of time working for Xavier and doing Hellion stuff, and I spent a lot of time pissing off the neighbors." Rosie is very matter-of-fact on this. Isn't it what he wants to know, anyway?
"Thank you. Was that hard?" Phallus? RUDE MUCH. "Do you have a God Complex?"
"Jack's probably hard," Rosie says in a teeny voice. "No, I don't. Why, do you think I have a God Complex?" She's not turning into bulls and seducing young maidens, if that's what Phil means. Well, there was that one time with May...
Phil sighs, because Rosie's annoying. But yet he's still sitting here with her. "I don't know, artificial insemination...immaculate conception, whatever." Phil doesn't believe in God, so he's not really sure where he's going with this.
Rosie just shrugs. See? This is why she doesn't discuss it. "It's fine, Phil. I called her and told her I got beat up by the Hulk, and we laughed. She likes that I'm here, doing my bid to 'save the world' and not out, you know, being sleazy."
"But you are out being sleazy, Rosie!" Phil's so confused. "Did you make out with Ma-- wait, the Hulk?" Oh shoot. Really now?
"No I'm not!" She is not sleazy! Rosie doesn't want to kick him again, but Phil is an inch away from getting her foot in his jaw. "I did make out with May. Is that what you're asking?" Hulk? What Hulk.
He really doesn't need a kick in his chin bruise. Oh yeah, he's got a chin bruise. Nearly forgot about that. "Wow. Why?" Good question. "--And I know you're trying to avoid the Hulk question."
"... Yeah... May's a good kisser." Rosie is trying to hard! But can't hold it in. "Yeah, I met David. You should of warned me he was a big green thing!"
Eww, May. May in a kissing sense. Phil doesn't really mind her otherwise-- wait, who is he kidding. He's terrified of her. And if she's shacking up with Rosie? No good can come from this. "I figured he would have warned you on his own."
Why, Phil! Rosie loves May, she's swell. "Nah, he didn't." She shrugs, because what's done is done. "Hey, I got a splinter in my hand. Can you get it out?" and said hand is produced, waving under Phil's nose. It's a baby splinter, from the floor when she fell.
"Oh cripes, yeah, all right." Phil leans over and switches the light on. He takes her hand in his and squints. "Do you have a safety pin?" ... You never know, she might.
He gets blank stares. "Why would I have--- Oh!" Rosie takes her hand back and sticks it up her dress, under the blanket. She roots around and finds the safety pin that's currently holding a little rosette on and unhooks it. Three seconds later, Phil is handed a little rosette and safety pin. "Voila, baby."
"--It'll do." He points the tip at her hand, the part below her thumb. He can barely see the splinter. "Man up, ok?"
"OK," Rosie whimpers, and her lip quivers and she has to look away. "Oh god, do it! Do it!"
Phil starts to scrap at the skin, trying to pull the splinter out. "Shhhh." Maybe he should punch her in the eye to take her mind off of it.
Oh don't you even punch her in the eye, Phillip J Fry. "Eeeek!" Rosie can't help it, this hurts!
This is old hat now, using his powers on people around here. Seriously, he has avoided it up until recently. He sends out calming pheromones. Making Rosie feel safe and comfy and only slightly bugged by the pain. "I almost got it, hang on-- oh there!"
Oh, now that's nice. Did Phil just slip her some morphine? Rosie smiles and feels fantastic, and only squeaks when he pulls it out. "Neat!" Rosie examines her hand and then holds it back out to him. "You forgot something."
"I... " He glares at her. NO. Really? MUST WE? He gives her hand a little peck. "Better?"
"Better!" Rosie has succeeded! But she isn't sure in what, so oh well. She hugs her knees, eying him. "Are you going to keep grilling me about my lack of a family?"
"No. We're good now." He feels bad for a bit. Just for a bit. Her hand is released. "Aren't we your family or ... some crap like that?"
"... Sure..." She rolls her eyes and then looks away. "A huge... happy... really gay family." You, her, Jack, May, Normie even. Though Normie isn't coming off as gay to her. "And you're Papa."
"I meant.. like, everyone here. Stop calling me gay." You're gay, Phil. "After his Savage Lands thing, we should hang out." Look, EFFORT!
E for Effort! "Sorry, Papa Bear," Rosie was sad, but the prospect of hanging out made her glad! So her frown is upside down. "Hey, that sounds fun. We should head into the city, go shopping." Maybe you could meet Cessily.
"...Shopping for what?" Phil can't think of anything he need-- oh is this a gay thing? Shut up, Rosie May.
Rosie shrugs. "Stuff, does it actually matter if you buy something or not?" It's bonding time, Phil. Not a gay thing.
"I do need some new shirts. You can pick them out for me. Maybe. Or not. Nevermind." She might dress him stupid. As if he doesn't dress stupid enough as it is.
"What?" He doesn't dress stupid, just boring. Rosie will add some color to his wardrobe! "Well, if you don't want to, OK..." she looks down and is kind of hurt by this.
"How about this, you pick it out but I get a final say?" Phil points at her. He doesn't realize how rude and scary he might look.
She grabs his finger, "You pointing at me?" Why yes, yes he was. "Fine, I'll pick it out, but you have to try on everything."
"No dice, lady." He grabs her ankles and starts to shake them. Singing loudly, obnoxiously, trying to change the subject, "Thank you for being a friend! Traveled down the road and back again! Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant!" Yes, the Golden Girls theme.
This is a song she doesn't know and looks at Phil bewilderedly. "... What've you been smoking!" And please stop shaking her ankles! She's going to hurl.
"I don't smoke. Look, we'll go when we get back from the Savage Lands." It sounds so weird to say that outloud. "Just you and me." AS FRIENDS.
"You don't?" God, he is so pure! It's amazing. Phil needs to be open to trying new things more often! Like pot. Um. "God, I don't wanna go to the Savage Lands... dinosaurs, man, what's that shit?"
Haaa, no. His nose and morals would not allow it. "Why not? Oh Rosie, I'll protect you." Only not really, because Phil is a shit fighter.
"Will you? Oh Phil!" Rosie swings her feet out of his lap and launches at him, grabbing Phil into a Might Hug of Doom. "My hero."
With a 'oof' he accepts the hug, but then nearly immediately starts to push her away. "C'mon, lemme go."
"No!" Rosie clings for dear life, and then plants a wet kiss on his cheek before finally releasing Phil from her death grip.
Oh geez, she's cute. He stands up, quickly. "All right, Rosie, I'm outta here."
She tries. Rosie raises an eyebrow, "What, not taking me with you?" Someone has to tuck her into bed after all this arduous family talk.
"I'm... going to my room." YOU CANNOT GO. He hopes that message gets across.
No... it doesn't. Rosie looks at him and whines. Loudly. Kind of like a puppy!
"What? You.. you can't really go with..." Well. She's harmless... right?
"Why not?" Rosie keeps up the loud whining noise.
"Look, I'll take you to your room..." He's such a pushover.
"But... it's so lonely in there." Her roommate was taken by the Shi'iar. Shia'ar? Aliens.
"And I'll stay... until you fall asleep." Why is he doing this for her? He doesn't know. But he's apparently going to.
Oh. "Well... OK." She'll just wrap her entire body around him and weigh him down so he can't move. Yes. "Carry me?"
Phil looks exasperated. But he holds his arms out. "Piggy back or what?"
It's what you get for having a Rosie! "Piggy back!" Up, papa, up!
Phil turns and leans down a bit. Because he's Freaking Tall. "C'mon." This is so weird.
Rosie climbs on and hooks her arms around his neck. She's trying to not choke him. "If I said 'giddy up,' would you buck me?"
"Absolutely not." And he's off to her room. Where he'll stay ... until the morning because he falls asleep. But only because he's tired, pants are kept on!