Black Innocence - Part 12: Secrets Title: Black Innocence - Part 12: Secrets Summary: Regulus recounts his own history of the Black family and his aspirations to be a Death Eater beginning when Sirius leaves. Characters/Pairings: Regulus/Bellatrix Genre: horror Rating/Warnings: HARD R, inappropriate nearly incestuous thoughts, graphic descriptions of torture, blood-play Word Count: 884
It never ceases to amaze me how easily Occlumency comes to our family. Of course, we had been taught the basics of it from our cradles. Seventeen years of study would make nearly anyone an expert.
I never fancied myself better at Occlumency though than the Dark Lord was at Legilimency. I simply gave him no reason to probe my mind further. Having spent most of my childhood as the second son gave me an intimate understanding of how to remain in the woodwork and still consider myself worthy of distinction.
If he notices the change tonight, I imagine he thinks it simply a natural consequence of having been reminded of my place. Which it is. He just doesn't realise that said place is as the defender of the Black family, from all poor influences.
Thankfully, fear is a convenient mask, and far more effective than even the silver one I bore when on mission. He never gave it a second glance, and the other Death Eaters towed the line more clearly once the rumours began that not even being the treasured cousin of his most faithful had been enough to protect me from punishment for some slight or other. I didn't correct them. It was safer for Bella that way.
"Reg," she asks, catching me before I can Apparate after the meeting. It has only been hours since I left Kreacher at the house. From the look in her eyes, I know she's noticed I am no longer reaching for the spotlight.
I hug her, giving every impression that things are the same as always, though I think she sees through that because the look she gives me clearly says she was considering my head in her lap again.
"Anything you want to tell me?"
So much, I want to say. I want to share with her all my fears, my misgivings, how I'd begun doing research on the Dark Lord, trying to understand where he was taking us.
How I realised he was using all of us for his own maniacal ends that had little to do with blood purity.
I shake my head, "I just wanted to make sure everyone knew I was gaining my rank by merit," I smile through the lie. When had I learned to lie to her? Part of my heart breaks, scarring over my loyalty to the Dark Lord quickly. He was separating me from my beloved cousin, and for that, I would not forgive him. No one had separated us, no one had ever come between us, until him.
"So I thought that after my special assignment, I'd prove it was his favour that I was currying, and that we Blacks were highly prized because of who we were and what we could do, not because we're simply family."
I watched her eyes darken as I began my speech, then as I delivered the last bit, they sparkled again.
"Oh, Reg, you don't have to worry what those lowly fools think. You are, and have always been worthy of His adoration and special favour."
Perhaps it is because I had never before lied to her that she seems to accept it as truth. I thank whatever power it is that had given me the ability to protect her from this. Her unwavering loyalty to her lord and master, her faith in her private tutor should never be shaken. No matter my own misgivings, I will not burden her with them.
I chuckle, "Yes, well, then the gloating will be that much sweeter when they realise they can't compare with our magnificence."
She strokes my cheek, and I return the favour. Her skin is soft against my hand, far more luxurious than silk would have been. Closing my eyes, I pray to Circe and Merlin and anyone else who will listen that my misgivings are unfounded, that I will find again her faith in the Dark Lord and believe in him the way she does.
I know it won't.
Leaning down, I kiss her gently on the cheek, though this time, due to accident, intent, or some subconscious need to be close to her, the corners of our mouths touch.
Reluctantly, I pull away, finally understanding the reason I had been singled out by the Dark Lord. I smile at her, flashing my best Black grin. She laughs, the sound brightening my night and lightening the mood.
"I had best go," she glances briefly behind her where the Dark Lord is waiting. "He's honouring our family more. We get to hide another horcrux. Think of it, Reg, we are protecting the things that keep our Lord immortal."
I take her hands in mine, kissing each in turn to hide my surprise at the information she's just given me. Horcrux. She might not have known before, or maybe she did, but now, I knew what it was Kreacher had aided in hiding.
Immortal. The bloody madman was immortal. That's what he was doing, using my family, my relatives, to safeguard the means to his immortality. He was using us and had no care for us.
I kiss her cheek once more, stroking my thumb against her cheekbone one last time.
"Go, I should not keep you waiting."
"I'll visit you soon," she offers. I accept, and it is a lovely lie, and maybe it will let her sleep once she discovers I am gone. Maybe anger will keep despair at bay.