| Dirty Minds |
[08 Jun 2008|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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[[Non Journal Entry]]
"Can you believe this?"
Joseph turned his head and lifted an eyebrow at the man sat to his right who was gesturing towards the television and at the replacement show for Jerry Springer with the title: 'My girlfriend was a vampire and I never knew it'.
"What do you mean?"
The guy waved his arms. "That those things were out there and we never even knew it! Jesus, look at that thing."
Joseph looked back at the television. "I don't know, she could look worse."
"You think she gives good head?"
Joseph choked on the whiskey he'd just swallowed.
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| Ready to Roll |
[08 Jun 2008|10:49pm] |
Letter to Her Mother
Dear Dina Lohan Vivian,
I got your email. So let me get this straight...
8 years I've been doing magic. 8 years! And now you wanna believe in it, just because some no-name vampire did a sob story on Oprah?
But wait, there's more! You also want to ride my coattails into a mother/daughter movie script, 'based on a true story', for the Lifetime Television Network.
Well screw that! I've got news. I'm not your commodity anymore. I've already found my claim to fame, and you'll be lucky if I let you put a toe on the red carpet.
Sincerely,
STAR
PS- Since you fancy yourself 'in the supernatural loop', suck on this. My dead, incinerated boyfriend's back. We have sex ALL THE TIME. Hot reanimated corpse sex. Zombie sex.
****
Voicemail for Victoria
"Hey, it's Star. You know what I'm thinking? We better get that camera rolling before somebody horns in on your idea. The timing is perfect... don't you think? *kiss* Talk to you later. Don't spoil your appetite..."
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| A day late and a dollar short |
[08 Jun 2008|11:15pm] |
Bitch stole my thunder on Oprah! I'm older, scads prettier, AND I would've eaten her for free. Public service and all.
What a fucking cunt. I hope Victoria's alright. Maybe I should check in on her...
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