Severus and Bellatrix have a chat
Severus and Bellatrix have a chat.
Who: Severus Snape, Bellatrix Black What: An appointment at the Apothecary Where: Apothecary When: Monday, 5 November after school Rating: tbd, not likely to be high.
Threaded in Google Docs while IJ was down and posted here.
Severus was considerably out of sorts. The outcry in his journal pages was incredibly disturbing. Had half the village disappeared and reappared at different ages during the night? If so, why did those who were older than he’d known them yesterday remember everything they had experienced thus far?
Frankly, he’d had quite enough of dealing with toe-rags and miscreants to last a lifetime. Fred and George Weasley had told him in no uncertain terms that his opinion was unwanted, his assistance unwelcome. As far as he was concerned, no one under the age of twenty was worth bothering with.
Well, with a few exceptions. Draco, Albus, Miss Dumbledore, and now his new-found concern for Bellatrix and the associated determination to keep an eye on her.
She even seemed to be altered, though she’d been willing enough to keep their appointment. Severus had all his brewing things put away - and he’d been adding extra protective wards to the shop while he waited - and was patiently awaiting the young woman’s arrival.
Bellatrix had no idea she had any sort of appointment. No idea who Severus Snape was or why she was bothering to get any sort of help from the man. But she had backtracked through her journal. What she had found filled her with a sense of urgency and panic.
It didn’t take her long to get ready. But it did take her some time to find his shop. IT was like starting from scratch all over again, save for the fact she could recall nothing. Not even starting over. She shook her head as she neared the shop and sighed heavily. This was bound to be an unpleasant visit.
But she had to do what needed to be done. She had to tell someone, and he had said to her several times that they were old friends, or allies, or what not. IT wasn't as if she could confide in Narcissa or Andromeda. With the reactions they had received from others in the journal earlier in the day, it was clear that their presence was unwanted, and their family name held no import here.
She walked into the shop with a hint of hesitation in her steps. Over her shoulder was her school bag. In it a few books and more importantly her journal. She lingered at the entrance, waiting to be greeted. After all, she hadn’t a clue what he looked like.
One of the first things he’d done when he realised something rather terrible was occurring in the village was to increase his wards on the outside of the shop. He could now tell if someone was within ten feet of the perimetre of the building, as well as the age and gender of the individual. Paranoia had kept him alive far too long not to exercise it liberally now.
The thought of teenagers running amok in the streets actually gave him the willies.
When the wards alerted him of her presence, he went directly to the door and opened it for her, gesturing her inside with a little flourish.
“Bellatrix, come in.” And then, because if she were to be believed, she wouldn’t know him like this, he added, “I am Severus.”
When she was securely inside the shop, he locked and warded the building against any sort of spying. Sometimes, he actually liked being a bit paranoid. It at least made him seem rather eccentric, though he hoped not so insane as Alastor Moody.
“You appear much the same as when I saw you at the Founder’s Feast a short while ago. What has happened?”
Bellatrix hurried inside, thankful for the locking of the door and privacy. She wasn’t at all sure how her revelation would go over. Not well she expected.
“I don’t know. I woke up and I remember nothing. I don’t remember being here, writing to you or any Founder’s Feast. I backtracked through my journal, and well I saw that I was to meet you. So here I am,” she said while kicking at the ground, shuffling a little from foot to foot.
She looked up at Severus, the look of confusion plain to read on her features. “Tell me, how do I know you?” She asked plainly. “Because I know none with the surname Snape. And you don’t look like anyone I know, so I doubt it’s a relation.”
“Well, that’s bloody marvelous. It’s affected you, too, then.” Severus sighed and walked toward the little table and chairs near the till that had now seen so much use. When he’d first seen the set, he’d scoffed - who would take tea with him? Now, he didn’t know how he’d have got by without it.
As he went about collecting tea things, his mind was working in over-time. It was impossible to guess how the magic of this place worked, or what sort of random energy surge had caused this most recent bout of chaos. But one thing that was certain - she seemed very different, now, from the image she presented in the hospital wing nearly a month ago.
Severus had a feeling he’d been duped, and very well, and he didn’t care for the sensation. He hated to be wrong. Especially when being wrong might have deadly consequences.
“We were in the war together,” he answered her at last. “I’m enough younger than you that we never met at Hogwarts, but Lucius befriended me when I arrived. You and I first met at their engagement party.”
Which was a strange thing to say at his age of nearly forty as she was clearly in her later teens, but such was the nature of things here. He poured boiling water into the teapot and set it on the table to steep for a bit.
“How old are you by your reckoning?”
Bellatrix walked to the table and took a seat, leaving her bag on the floor at her feet for the time being. “Bloody, confusing I’d say. And enough to give me a headache,” she admitted with a small smile. She watched Severus go and make tea, keeping a watchful eye on his movements and mannerisms.
“So, I am much older then you are, in fact. That explains why I do not know you,” she said while folding her hands in her lap, resisting the urge to nervously tap on the table while she waited. At the mention of the war, she opened her mouth to speak, but held her tongue. The war, Evan had mentioned Voldemort to her, and some nonsense about their having died for him, and that he was a half blood of all things. It made no sense. Besides, she’d never been approached, not yet at this time in her life. It seemed to her far fetched.
“Whose engagement to Lucius?” She asked wanting a little clarification. “I’m Seventeen. Just as I said I was before. But from what I read, I” she said with a small pause. “I don’t think I was really seventeen at all.”
Severus felt his jaw clench, the muscle jumping as he reigned in his temper. So. She had, indeed, made a fool of him. Perhaps was even now!
“Lucius married your sister, Narcissa,” he said, answering her first question while he pondered the ramifications of her revelation.
“Several in the village had suspected you weren’t really what you appeared. I actually vouched for you that you were.” He glared at her and reached out with Legilimency as he’d done the day he’d walked her to school. Not ferociously, not enough to risk injury or detection, but definitely not so gently as he’d done before. If she caught him at it and possessed her natural ability, there was great potential to drive them both half mad from the battle of wills that would doubtless ensue.
She did not like the glare she received, and despite her worries she found herself returning the glance in kind. “Well sorry I duped everyone. I don’t remember doing it. So that’s hardly my biggest concern. What to do about it is, and so I am here, asking you what I should do.”
She did not feel any sensation of anyone in her mind. It was open and free to read. What he would see, would be nothing more than the truth. The memories of a troubled young woman. Cruelty to animals, striving for her father’s praise. Incidental school events. Feelings of doubt and uncertainty, but nothing amiss.
“Narcissa and Lucius. Makes sense,” she grumbled. “I’m sure my father was pleased. That would be his first draft pick I’m sure.”
She didn’t know what else to say, but she had one idea. She leaned down to open her backpack, taking out her journal and began to flick through the pages till she found her most recent entry. It was the one that troubled her the most. It was the one that had the most truth. But it was private, very much so. Perhaps, she thought, the gesture of letting him read it would count for something. She changed the ward, allowing only herself and Severus able to read it. She pushed the book across the table and leaned back in her chair. “Read that then. And tell me what you make of it. I wrote it I think after I last wrote to you a few days ago.”
With a brow raised in obvious doubt, Severus accepted her journal from her. Were she her adult self, she would never have let him see any of her private writings. Nor would he have been able to delve so freely into her thoughts and memories.
Yet she was a consummate actress. Who could tell that this wasn’t all some elaborate ploy even now? She’d already made a fool of him once. Or more than once for all he knew. Still, he read through the entry with careful attention. When he’d finished, he closed it in silence and handed it back to her. He remained silent. Thoughtful. He rested his chin in his hand and traced his upper lip with his index finger as he pondered.
What to do? If she had been lying before, concealing the truth, he was relatively certain she was being honest now. But what was that worth? His opinion against his experience.
But who to tell? The Weasley twins, while undoubtedly doing as good a job as they could manage with this wild magic going on everywhere, were hardly ‘authority figures’. At least not by his reckoning. Teddy Lupin was apparently some sort of law-enforcement official here, but he wasn’t exactly a highly visible figure and his condition made him less than effective in Severus’s opinion. The Founders might be less biased against her, but they were about to have their hands full keeping a much larger crop of children under control.
And what would they do? Quite probably nothing but be all the more cruel and suspicious of her than ever. Now that she’d become precisely what she seemed - a lost, frightened, isolated seventeen-year-old girl - she would be treated like what she used to be - an insane sociopath.
Severus couldn’t get their conversation at the Founder’s Feast out of his mind. Yes, he had offered to help her as a ploy of his own, a ruse to have an excuse to keep an eye on her, in hopes to become a sort of confidante that she might turn to in order to keep her under control.
What was to prevent him from carrying on in that capacity? His sense of morality and the benefit (or lack thereof) of the accepted legal system had always been rather elastic. With nothing here remotely resembling a court or a Wizengamot, there seemed very few options at his disposal, and there was never anyone he trusted more than his own self when it came down to guarding against Death Eaters and their shenanigans. Let those Weasley boys deal with all these children running wild. Severus would focus his attention on those who most needed his attention.
“Well. You have managed to get yourself into a pickle, haven’t you?” he said at last, pouring tea for both of them. “I suggest you allow me to put an extra layer of warding on your journal. I can put a charm on it that will scramble the writing so no one but you can decipher it. And I suggest you keep your mouth shut about your present state of confusion. Thus far, you’ve gotten away with your naughtiness - and be assured, Bellatrix, it was far more severe than the playful word implies - but if anyone were to find out that you’d been lying these last few weeks, I suppose they’d find some unpleasant way to punish you.”
Bellatrix waited with baited breath. She keep his gaze fixed firmly on Severus, waiting and watching while he mulled over the revelation of her journal entry. She could only guess as to what he would do with the information. Would he turn her in? Would he act out his own vengeance upon her for her deceit? What she had not expected was any sort of understanding or kindness.
The look of gratefulness in her eyes was plain to see and she smiled with relief. Although she heeded his words of warning. Second chances didn’t come without conditions. She was not a fool and would not betray his confidence again.
“I’d appreciate it if you would place the extra protection on my journal. I have to be extra careful now. And probably read up on whom I have spoken to and how I have conducted myself,” she said while reaching for her cup of tea. She blew on the hot surface to cool it, before taking a small sip and setting it down.
“Can you tell me a bit about my future then?” She asked, a little curious. “Evan let something slip to me, and I’d like to know about my role in the war. And my life in general. Did I marry? Did I have children? Did I live through much of it? He said I died.”
She thought for a moment, while Severus no doubt was mulling over her questions. “If you’re to be the keeper of my secrets, then you can call me Bella if you like. It seems only fair.”
Now Severus was almost certain she wasn’t lying any more - she’d never been able to stomach him calling her ‘Bella’ no matter how often he’d done it just to irritate her. He gave a dry little chuckle and held up his hand.
“Slow down, Bellatrix. Bella, then. I will tell you everything you want to know - but understand this - I do not lie. And you might not like the answers. We were both involved in the war. Toward the end, you and I were his lieutenants, for want of a better word - but we were very competitive against one another and we did not like each other.
“It’s a long story. You were very devoted to his cause. I grew to distrust it and eventually to work against it. I was the Judas within the ranks. I died before you did, but not by much. My last memory before arriving here was being bitten by his snake, my throat all but torn out, which caused my death.”
He drank from his cup, pausing to let her digest what he’d said.
“What happened there, the choices we made there do not have to affect our existence here. Indeed, I would - and have - encourage you to consider this existence as a clean slate. There is no war here. There is no Dark Lord now, nor would he stand a chance if he showed up in one of the random magical surges. This is a place and time to examine what your life might have been like had you chosen other goals. Other allies.”
She couldn’t help but laugh a little. “If we were of a similar rank as you say, I know myself and how competitive I am. I can see how we would not have gotten along. I like to win, and claim all the glory for myself. I’m not one for sharing the spotlight,” she said. She looked a little surprised by his mention of being a traitor of sorts. She found it amusing in a way. He had duped her no doubt, and now in this place, she or her other self had pulled the wool over his eyes. Poetic justice, and to her was a little comical.
“I think I was sincere when I wrote my entry. I rarely say things I do not mean. I think I had wanted a do over. I guess now I would be a idiot to let that chance pass me by. But, honestly. I don’t think anyone will give me a chance. I think, from what I could glean from writing to others that I killed many people. And that I am responsible indirectly for harm and death caused to others. Even if I started living like a saint, I’m sure they would scoff and hold me in contempt. But,” she said while considering all she had read. “I think I’d like to try and prove to myself I am more than just a tool.”
Severus had no delusions that Bellatrix would be ‘saintlike’ at any age. But he’d meant what he said to Potter a few days ago - shouldn’t she have the chance to become a different person from this moment forward, same as everyone else?
“You did kill a lot of people,” he said without pulling any punches. “But that is a you that hasn’t occurred yet. It’s an incarnation of yourself that you don’t have to let happen here.”
He set his cup down and leaned across the table toward her.
“I’m putting my neck on the line for you. I happen to be enjoying this second chance very much. Know this - I will help you in whatever way I can, including keeping your secret while you remain dedicated to your own reformation. But I’m no innocent either, Bella. Betray my trust and there will not be any further chances.”
Bellatrix sat very still. She kept her gaze on Severus, making sure he knew she was just as serious as he was about her starting over and keeping her word. “I give you my word then, as a daughter of the most noble House of Black. I will not betray your trust, or kill anyone if that’s a concern for you,” she said plainly but with sincerity.
Killing animals was one thing, people entirely different. OR maybe it was the same. Either way, she’d best not let her thoughts linger there.
“I do not give my word lightly. Know, I am sincere. And I do appreciate your answers to my questions so far. And your advice.”
Severus gave a nod of acceptance. It wasn’t a sign of trust. When push came to shove, he knew better than to trust her. But it was a willingness to accept that she wanted to try - and a confirmation that he would do what he could to help her.
He pushed a plate of biscuits toward her and settled in for a lengthy chat. Whatever she was going to ask him, he would answer. He was getting a little tired of reliving his history over and over when he was trying to get beyond it, but perhaps it was a suitable penance. He didn’t really deserve to be quite so content as he’d been lately.