Who: Polaris Malfoy and Regulus Black What: Reg is being an awesome friend and making Po feel better Where: Walking around town to the park When: Backdated to August 5th, late night Rating: PG Status: Completed in GDOCS
It was late, but not too late for Regulus to pull on a light jumper and make his way to the park to meet Polaris. His strides were longer and faster than normal. Something was decidedly off when a person started quoting Poe. Regulus knew and enjoyed the muggle’s poetry, but his dabblings had showed him that most of the poet’s works pulled the reader into a world that was macabre, dark, or depressing. Sometimes a combination of all three.
Regulus had to wonder what kind of mood Polaris was in if she was reading Poe’s poetry. When he saw her silhouette outlined against one of the street lamps that kept the park well lit at night, he slowed his pace as he walked over to the Malfoy. “Hey,” said Regulus, smiling a touch uncertainly.
To say that Polaris felt like crap was an understatement. It that there was anything wrong with her physical health, but mentally she was not the happiest a camper could be. Instead she was plagued with thoughts of home, and what was going on there without her supervision. Of course logically she knew that she was in fact still there, but that didn’t make her feel any better about the situation at hand. She missed her little brother. She missed her annoying, overbearing, and perfect big sister. She missed her parents how they were supposed to be. She knew this was a common complaint here, and she felt like she really had no right to feel this way. After all, they were trying too hard to do everything right. Even at their younger ages her parents and grandparents were wonderful people. But that still didn’t stop her from hating it here. Claustrophobia had been setting in the last few weeks, even before the entire cabin ordeal. But that had only made it worse.
More than anything, Polaris was beginning to feel like a prisoner in the village. Maybe she just needed to get out more. She had read in her journal her younger self was very familiar with the outlying lands of this place, something she hadn’t quite done yet. Either way, she needed to figure out something. Polaris wasn’t one to turn to the bottle often, but lately she had just been wanting to drink more and more.
Perhaps that’s why she had turned to Regulus. If anyone could be a voice of reason, he could be. But she knew that wasn’t the total truth. No, she liked spending time with him. He was one of the few people here outside of her closest family who could brighten her day just by making an appearance. She didn’t want to actually tell him that though, she didn’t want him feeling creeped out by how strongly she tended to feel sometimes.
So as she waited for him to arrive, Polaris snuck a half crushed and almost stale pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket. When she had dropped in to this place she had them with her, and hadn’t even thought twice about them until recently. She wasn’t a big smoker by any stretch, but when she got anxious or depressed, it tended to help. Po was only halfway through when she heard Regulus approaching behind her, and embarrassed with herself, she flicked the still smoldering cigarette away from her and into the glass. Turning around she gave him a flustered smile. “Hey,” she managed to get out, running her hand through her messy hair. “I uhm… Sorry about that.” She said, talking about the tobacco stick she had thrown out in front of her at his arrival. “It’s a nasty habit I have sometimes when I’m not in the greatest mood.”
Kicking a bit of dirt off the end of her sandal she looked up at him. “You doing alright then?” She knew full well he was here for her and for her well being, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t inquire about him as well. Besides, she really did care about his response.
“I’m all right,” replied Regulus, hitching his shoulders in a dismissive shrug. Aside from his brother and father being in the village, bringing family to the forefront of his mind, there was nothing he wanted to bring up that would distract from the matter at hand.
Even though Polaris was older, he could quickly recognise from her disheveled appearance and flustered smile that there was something wrong. Regulus didn’t know if it was because he was perceptive, or because she wore her emotions on her sleeve, but there was no mistaking it. His own smile dimmed as concern dominated his expression. “Why aren’t you in the greatest mood?” he asked, using the toe of his boot to snub out the ember of the cigarette she had discarded.
“Perhaps we should find you a healthier nasty habit. I’ve heard these sticks cause death if they’re used over long periods of time.”
For a while she pondered his question, probably to the point that he would have started questioning if she had even heard him. And then sometime later without warning, she shrugged a bit, her voice cracking just the slightest as she spoke. “Because I feel trapped. Because nothing ever feels right here. And because I thought I was okay with it, and I could take anything in stride, but I can’t and I hate it.” Shaking her head she closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. It wasn’t as though she felt she needed to be extra tough, but Polaris really didn’t like crying. Especially not in front of someone else. Weakness was not a feeling she ever liked to give in to.
Giving him a fleeting smile at his comment about finding her a healthier nasty habit, she looked down as the burning cherry went out under his shoe. “Yeah, I heard that too. Must be why my sister yells at me about it,” she said quietly.
Starting to walk, she waited until Regulus fell into stride with her. She wasn’t going very fast by any means, and really someone watching them could almost call it moseying along. “Guess I’m just running out of ways to distract myself from where I really am. This place can be beautiful, but more than anything else? It just feels like an elaborate prison.” Perhaps she was being dramatic, but being a girl who was used to roaming the world on a whim, this place really rattled her inner core.
“I see,” said Regulus, and in a few quick but measured paces, he closed the distance and walked alongside Polaris, flanking her left. Her elaborate prison was his only chance to have a fulfilling life, but he did not want to point that out. Perspective was a blessing and a curse, he supposed.
He wondered, briefly, if he should offer her an arm, or perhaps a hug. If she had been younger, he wouldn’t have hesitated. But it was different now that she was the same age as he. Regulus found himself unsure and awkward around those boundaries.
“If you weren’t here, where would you be?” Regulus asked her, looking over. “What would you be doing?”
Of course there were positives about the village, internally she knew that. But part of the complication of the village was how differently everyone could see it. For those who had died or lost someone, well, this place could be amazing. But for someone who had a life? Friends? Family? It was hard to be kept away from all of it without any good reason.
At his question, she looked up at the stars and shrugged. “I could be any number of places, to be honest. I work for a travel agency and have a part time internship with an advertising company. At first, I just helped people plan out awesome vacations. But just recently they put me on a team to make deals with different hotels and activity destinations. That usually requires travelling to meet them and tour facilities. Over time, it becomes a mutually beneficial relationship,” she finished. Going the tiniest bit red in the face she shook her head, looking over at him.
“It sounds kind of boring, but it was a lot of fun. So was my internship… made a lot of friends there.” Her smile dropped just the slightest at this thought, before she shook her head and looked at Regulus. And as she looked at him, a sudden thought sparked in her mind.
“I’m sorry, this is kind of selfish of me, isn’t it?” she said quietly. “I mean… we’re friends right? And I’m starting to realize that while I hate this place sometimes… it’s kind of the only way I know you.” She bit her lip, running a hand through her hair and trying to put together her next sentence. “Guess I gotta be thankful for that, right?” Besides, she reminded herself, didn’t Regulus not have a life back home? That thought made Po feel even worse.
The nature of Polaris’s job sounded both exciting and fitting for her personality. As he listened to her talk, he couldn’t fault her for missing a job like that. Traveling, meeting new people, trying new and exciting foods and experiences. Standing next to her, he felt inexperienced. Regulus had never stepped foot outside of the United Kingdom. He had only seen glimpses of the outside world through books and photographs.
“You have a life to look forward to back there,” Regulus said quietly. It was difficult to acknowledge, but such was the nature of the truth. “You’re not being selfish for missing it,” he reassured her, and before he could think about it (which meant talk himself out of it), he took her hand in his. “This may be our only way of knowing each other, but I can hardly compensate for everything that’s missing here.”
What Regulus said was true, as much as she hated to admit it. She had the feeling younger her had been much more content here. After all, what was more exciting for a fifteen year old than a crazy, magical village where anything could happen? Sure, it was still thrilling as an older individual, but when she had almost four more years of experience under her belt? It just felt like it was inhibiting her growth more than anything. When Regulus took her hand, Polaris couldn’t help but smile. She squeezed back, keeping his hand in hers as they continued to walk. In the back of her mind, she was secretly leading them towards the park. She tended to have a thing for swing sets when she was upset.
“I don’t know,” she joked a bit, trying to lighten the mood by changing the tone. She also might have had other motives, like cheering him up as well. Even though he didn’t come for a pep talk by any means, Polaris knew he was overly hard on himself like… ninety nine percent of the time.
“I wish I had known you back in the real world. Really, I guess that means I wish there wasn’t so many years between our times. I feel like even when I go back… not knowing you? It’ll feel like something is missing. Don’t really have tons of friends back home who would drop whatever they were doing to come comfort me at a moments notice.” She meant that too. Whether or not Regulus gave himself any credit, he had truly become one of her best friends here. Po was of course close with her family, but as far as really close friends went? She was a bit lacking in that department outside of friendly acquaintances.
She was extremely social, and had a huge address book, that was for sure. But forming closer bonds than that? She only had a chosen few back home, and lately they had been busy with their own lives. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but super social Polaris happened to be a bit more lonely than she let on sometimes.
It stung, knowing that if Polaris did go back, she wouldn’t have a single memory of him. Regulus’s gaze dropped down to the dirt path. He wasn’t paying attention to where their feet were taking them. His focus was split between all the darker thoughts milling through his mind, the fact that he was holding Polaris’s hand, and the embarrassment that had flushed his cheeks. Regulus didn’t know how to graciously accept such kind words. He fell silent for a long moment before he trusted himself to speak.
“If there’s a point to this place, I don’t think it’s necessarily about where you can go or what you can do,” said Regulus. “It’s about the people. It’s about crossing all the normal barriers like time and death. If I hadn’t met you, I’d probably still be stewing in my own self-misery here. You’ve helped me begin to forgive myself.”
And although it was a work in progress, at least it had started.
Polaris was perfectly content to walk in silence for a bit. After all, with Regulus, it didn’t seem to be an awkward silence. Not to her anyway. In general she just felt comfortable around him, no matter what they seemed to be doing. But when he spoke again, she couldn’t help but smile as a tinge of red crept up her neck and into her cheeks. Hopefully he couldn’t tell, but there was enough street lighting in their way that if he was looking closely enough, he would have caught it. “Have I?” she asked a bit flattered, biting her lower lip before smiling even wider. “Well… good. Damn good.”
As they walked into the park, Polaris tugged on his hand gently over towards the swing set. Hopefully he wouldn’t find her juvenile, but sometimes there was nothing better than letting the wind whip at you while flying through the air. Flying was her favorite, of course. Swings were a close second. Before she let go of his hand to get on though, she turned to him.
“Knowing that… it kind of makes me feel better about this place, in a way. Makes me feel like… I have more of a purpose.” Shrugging, she leaned in before she could think better of it and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, Regulus Black. And I’m glad that I know you. You’re a good person, regardless of what you or anyone else thinks. I know that, and you better never forget it.”
Giving him another grin, this one the slightest bit shyer than before, she sat down on a swing, pointing towards the other one for him to join her. Oddly enough, this entire exchange had calmed her, and helped her to feel a lot better about this place, even if Regulus hadn’t intended that to be the case. He was feeling better about himself, and she was more than excited that she happened to be a part of that.
Regulus was left a little stunned. He had not been expecting that to happen. A small kiss on the cheek was more than a small kiss on the cheek for him. He had never been kissed by anyone, except maybe his mother and his aunts, but those didn’t count. This did. It took him a few moments to collect himself and sit down on the swing next to her.
A kiss on the cheek wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, right? Regulus tried to let it roll off his shoulders. He tried to forget how nice she had smelled being that close to him. He wouldn’t forget.
“I’m glad that you’re here too, Po,” he said, looking over at her with an equally shy smile and wishing that he could say something more eloquent than that. It was hard to piece together the words when his heart was beating so quickly.
Had Polaris known he had never been kissed, she honestly might have gone for the lips. Being someone’s first kiss? That was quite the honor, in her opinion. But this was good too. This was very good. Good enough that outspoken, charismatic Polaris couldn’t help but be silent for a moment and stop herself from that damn blushing.
“Swing with me, Regulus,” she said to him, biting her lower lip before pushing off with her feet, gaining momentum. “It’s good for the soul.” Smiling, she turned away from him to face the night sky, enjoying the feeling of wind in her hair and waiting patiently for Reggie to join her.